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AIBU?

Would you report this staff member

100 replies

Notanotherteenmovie1 · 21/01/2021 15:06

I have posted about her previously. We are on a school rota basis, she commented on how she 'now had some company' when a fellow colleague came into the room and complained about me (I think) outside the door.

I was due to work with her today and I walked in to be asked to work with another group. She was left on her own so I think she requested that I don't work with her today.
This suited me fine as I worked a lot better with the new group and in a more positive and balanced atmosphere.

However today I have overheard her slagging me off on 3 occasions which is absolutely ridiculous and pathetic.

Each time it has been in the canteen and she has done it when I have also been in there. I heard her talk about me to a staff member and the teacher (who I had thought was friendly ) laughed and said 'yeah I had her with my class too'.

On another occasion I heard her complaining "she just comes in and does xyz"

It's made me so angry. She can think whatever she likes about me but hasn't once attempted to speak to me if she has an issue. At least do it in a professional way .

Slagging me off to colleagues when I'm in the vicinity is disgusting.
I have requested that I don't work with her again for the half term and they have granted that.

I'm not sure whether to report her, I'm leaving soon and have zero interest in trying to form any sort of bond, I just think she's a nasty piece of work and that's who she is. I've ignored her all day , should I continue to do that or report it ?

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Am I being unreasonable?

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Gazelda · 21/01/2021 15:07

If you're leaving soon, I think I I'd leave it and ignore her.

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Notanotherteenmovie1 · 21/01/2021 15:10

I think if it happens again I will because I cannot believe the sheer audacity. I only worked with her for one day last week for goodness sake.

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Notanotherteenmovie1 · 21/01/2021 15:11

The colleague who laughed and had her own comment has disappointed me as she always seemed very friendly and kind to me, but trust nobody I guess.

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AcrobaticCardigan · 21/01/2021 15:13

I’d report. She may do this to others too, so good for management to be aware.

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Tumblebugsjump · 21/01/2021 15:31

I would discuss it directly with your colleague, 'I have overheard you complaining about me three times to colleagues, it's unprofessional and unpleasant. If there are any issues you wish to raise with me please do it in a constructive way, otherwise I'd appreciate it if you stop moaning about me to other colleagues' big grin, thanks.

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cabingirl · 21/01/2021 16:12

I remember your previous posts where it sounded as though you had problems with more than one colleague. Do you have a line manager / supervisor?

Her behaviour doesn't sound very nice, perhaps you could talk to your supervisor and talk about these specific incidents but at the same time I think you should ask for some feedback about your own performance and working relationships with colleagues.

It might be something in this specific school culture which just does not suit you but it also might give you some support on how to improve the way you interact with 'difficult' people and relationships.

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Notanotherteenmovie1 · 21/01/2021 16:48

I worked fine today with the other colleague and different group. I did one day with this particular colleague and she's talking about it a week later.
I recognise I may not have been strict enough with the students but her behaviour is nasty.

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IndecentFeminist · 21/01/2021 16:59

Unless she has really done something against rules I wouldn't report her. Most workplaces don't get involved in mild dislikes.

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cabingirl · 21/01/2021 17:21

How long have you been working at this school? Have you been given any kind of support or appraisal where you've been able to raise how you feel about this colleague?

Would you be able to have an informal chat with your supervisor about this if you don't feel like confronting your colleague directly about her behaviour?

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Notanotherteenmovie1 · 21/01/2021 17:22

It's not a mild dislike, it's not acceptable to negatively discuss a member of staff to other colleagues like that, it can be considered bullying and against the code of conduct.

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Notanotherteenmovie1 · 21/01/2021 17:24

I've been there a year and a bit. Her behaviour isn't kind or acceptable at all, I do have a supervisor, I want her spoken to or issued with a verbal warning.

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HollowTalk · 21/01/2021 17:25

Did you post about this before, OP? It sounds really horrible.

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Bunchup · 21/01/2021 17:26

Have you ever addressed it with her directly, OP? I find it's best to nip these things in the bud.

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cabingirl · 21/01/2021 17:27

So - have you asked your supervisor for a chat? That's probably the first place to start.

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OwlWearingGlasses · 21/01/2021 17:27

I am a TA. I am in every day and I know at the moment all the staff are very stressed and tempers are a bit frayed.
Could this have played a part on both sides?

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EugenesAxe · 21/01/2021 17:28

If you're leaving I wouldn't 'report' her. Saying that, she is being totally unprofessional by talking about you in that way, and if you have an exit interview you might mention it, but stick to the facts.

It sounds like you need to look at yourself a little more though, if this is a prevailing attitude. It doesn't make what she did right, but don't be so defensive you become blind to development points that you need to take on board.

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Notanotherteenmovie1 · 21/01/2021 17:29

Yeah, have posted about her and a male colleague before.

I was with the same group but with this 2nd colleague the other day. Said colleague disappeared for an hour and students were playing up a lot. Got to C3 so I emailed for on call from their head of year.

HOY replied to my email copying in the colleague who had disappeared, saying he was busy all day but could we phone home.

Said colleague returned and emailed as if he had saved the day, saying that HE had spoken to the students and resolved the issues.
Then, totally downplaying their behaviour by saying they 'just liked a natter sometimes.

Then, he had the cheek to say that they were getting on with the work and that HE was helping them. No acknowledgement whatsoever of me and just trying to make himself look good.

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calmearth · 21/01/2021 17:29

@Notanotherteenmovie1

It's not a mild dislike, it's not acceptable to negatively discuss a member of staff to other colleagues like that, it can be considered bullying and against the code of conduct.

I'd consider this bullying and I would report it too. Going to work is bad enough without feeling like someone is bullying you.
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Nanny0gg · 21/01/2021 17:34

I don't understand. It sounds a very strange setting.

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TheCap · 21/01/2021 17:52

Report her. Don’t leave it so that she can make someone else’s life a misery once you’ve gone. Just because she is a teacher doesn’t make her a Saint and, dare I say, she’s show herself to be a nasty bitch.

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Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 21/01/2021 17:58

OP you've had a few threads in the last couple of days about having problems with colleagues and friends.
I think if you are having problems with nearly all the people you are working with, you might want to ask for some feedback on your own preference. Perhaps there is something you need to work on.

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isitsafetocomeoutyet · 21/01/2021 18:01

I think I've read a few of your older threads?

To be honest it's hard to say if this really is a pit of bullies or your perception of one.

What did you/your boss say when you asked not to work with her?

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Notanotherteenmovie1 · 21/01/2021 18:04

I've mentioned 2 people i work with and 2 friends. Never said it was a pit of bullies, I work with a lot of great people, I've mentioned 2 out of many.
What I've written is factual not a 'perception'.

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Notanotherteenmovie1 · 21/01/2021 18:05

The boss was happy for me to not work with her and my new colleague is great.

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peak2021 · 21/01/2021 18:07

You are leaving soon. Would you want anyone else to be treated in the same way. Of course not, so report it, and use that as your reason.

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