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Home-schooling pushed ex-Marine to "breaking point"

(227 Posts)
Ori2021 Wed 20-Jan-21 11:16:26

Has anyone else read this story on BBC news? Parents are victims of this pandemic too. The toll on parent's mental health is really bad; this article just highlights it. I don't know what could be done to support people like this man, and parents in general like me, but I find it amazing that parents have just been told "get on with it," and quite literally, flung under the bus. It's damaging people's relationships with their own children.

Good on this man for telling the truth about his experience. It is AWFUL trying to home-school, and work at the same time. Some people are managing well, and hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel but I do think the Govt. need to think of a way to recognise the daily struggle that parents and families and their children are facing.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-55723022

OP’s posts: |
RickiTarr Wed 20-Jan-21 11:18:19

I’m not sure of the relevance of the “ex-Marine” angle. Surely it’s the opposite skill set to home educating? None of us are invincible and we are all most vulnerable when taken out of our comfort zone.

FrankButchersDickieBow Wed 20-Jan-21 11:19:03

The government couldn't give two shits about how people are coping. I I wouldn't be looking to them for any help.

RickiTarr Wed 20-Jan-21 11:20:05

I don't know what could be done to support people like this man, and parents in general like me, but I find it amazing that parents have just been told "get on with it," and quite literally, flung under the bus. It's damaging people's relationships with their own children.

As for this bit, what’s the alternative? It’s a national and global emergency. We all just have to do our best.

user1174147897 Wed 20-Jan-21 11:20:06

I don't think there is any segment of society left who hasn't had a mumsnet thread declaring "they have been thrown under the bus" .

So many buses...

MirandaWestsNewBFF Wed 20-Jan-21 11:22:10

Personally I don’t think it is even vaguely possible to homeschool and work at the same time. If you need to homeschool then one parent should be on 100% furlough. It’s just not sustainable or arguably even safe any other way. Don’t @ me on this. Better government handling of the pandemic wouldn’t have put us back exactly where we were a year later.

Mumoftwoinprimary Wed 20-Jan-21 11:22:54

He was on the X factor years ago when they were raising money for Help the Heroes. His was the “story” shown so I think he is quite well known.

Presumably they mention his background to show he isn’t just being a bit of a snowflake. You would expect someone who could cope with having both legs and one arm blown off to have fairly high resilience.

unchienandalusia Wed 20-Jan-21 11:24:53

I'm working upstairs and can hear DH losing it with the kids downstairs. He is also trying to work. It's not good for any of us. Him, the DCs. It's just awful awful awful.

slashlover Wed 20-Jan-21 11:26:32

YABU, everyone is struggling.

So far on here we've had posts about how it's so much worse for all parents, wfh parents, keyworker parents, young kids, teenagers, uni students, elderly people, single parents, people living alone, people living separately to their DP, people living with their DP, people with mh issues etc.

unmarkedbythat Wed 20-Jan-21 11:29:15

It is not possible for the vast majority of us to combine paid work and effective home education. Most people will recognise that. As long as the lack of education is appreciated when dc do return to school and expectations are realistic and recognise that dc have missed out on huge chunks of learning, fine.

ExeterMummaMia Wed 20-Jan-21 11:41:07

Agree that its bloody, horrifically, terribly shit! I also totally agree that you can't effectively and productively work and provide effective home-schooling at the same time. But equally, not sure what the alternative is at the moment as it was clear (in my area at least) that schools were not sustainable with infections levels as they were pre-lockdown.

Teachers will understand that learning is not going to be to the same degree as in-school education (despite Dfe pressures for teachers to ensure children progress during lockdown and regardless of whether the remote provision is top notch) as most parents are both working. The only way I'm able to keep some element of control/coping is to just do a semi-passable job at both work and home-schooling at the moment - which basically means I'm just a bit shit at both for a while!

Ori2021 Wed 20-Jan-21 11:43:34

@slashlover

YABU, everyone is struggling.

I'm not disputing that. I'm just making the point that I think it was brave of this man to publicise his experience of home-schooling. It's ok to say you're struggling and hopefully there will be understanding and compassion for everyone at the end of this.

OP’s posts: |
slashlover Wed 20-Jan-21 11:59:26

There is one line in your OP saying good on this man. Everything else is about how difficult it is, parents are victims of the pandemic and are quite literally flung under a bus.

RickiTarr Wed 20-Jan-21 12:05:15

slashlover

There is one line in your OP saying good on this man. Everything else is about how difficult it is, parents are victims of the pandemic and are quite literally flung under a bus.

As an aside, I saw someone fall under a bus once. It was horrific, fatal, involved dismemberment and crush injuries and if other people had seen similar they wouldn’t throw the expression around so casually.

unmarkedbythat Wed 20-Jan-21 12:06:42

It is difficult, parents are also victims, and to be blunt you'd have to be particularly fucking stupid not to realise the op had misused the word literally and in all likelihood did not mean that parents are being physically hurled under passing buses as part of homeschooling hmm.

Nowhere does the OP say people in the situation are the only victims, suffering more than anyone else or anything like that, so where slashlover's objections to this are coming from I don't know. Perhaps we should wait for her to tell us which groups we are allowed to sympathise with?

Rooroobear Wed 20-Jan-21 12:08:21

Unfortunately there’s not a lot that can be done. Luckily, I only work in the evenings so am able to homeschool pretty ok. The school are great and as long as my dd and ds do some work they are quite happy. My ds is a delight at school but trying to get him to do it at home can be a battle sometimes, and if he’s done a couple of pieces of work I’m happy. We don’t have any classes to be available for and attendance isn’t monitored but the teachers are around a lot (we’ve even had replied to messages at 9pm) so I feel for all involved, parents, teachers, children.

GypsyLee Wed 20-Jan-21 12:14:27

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Brunt0n Wed 20-Jan-21 12:19:09

GypsyLee

Looking after your own kids and being asked to support their learning is being thrown under a bus, lol.
I wonder why people have kids at all these days. sad

How’s the weather up there on your pedestal? Had any snow?

WhateverHappenedToMe Wed 20-Jan-21 12:20:14

It's not just parents either. One of my colleagues has been given paid carer's leave to home school her child, so they other two of us are having to pick up her work in addition to our own and still meet the deadlines. Home schooling is putting me under pressure too, even though I'm not doing it.

MutteringDarkly Wed 20-Jan-21 12:20:40

I read the article and found it vaguely comforting in a "it's OK to be finding it hard" sort of a way. We do think stereotypically of marines as being able to handle extreme and protracted pressure, so I think that his career was relevant.

Lol at PP idea that everyone has an extra adult in the household who can be 100% furloughed. All the lone parents can just magic one of those up...

Having said that, everyone has a different kind of "hard" right now, but pretty much nobody has it easy. My mantra, through somewhat gritted teeth on occasion, is "it's not forever".

Fluffyhairforever Wed 20-Jan-21 12:21:33

No one has literally been flung under a bus.

HastyPasty Wed 20-Jan-21 12:23:15

I used the c word three times in front of the kids yesterday!!!!!! (I didn't even swear much at all pre covid and now I'm a flipping pirate!) After which I removed myself to isolation and let them do their own thing for the rest of the day. Honestly it is beyond stressful and my kids are not especially badly behaved, I can't even imagine how people with kids with actual issues are managing. Oh and I almost cried when I couldn't post a parcel. Ridiculous. I think I have entirely lost the plot!

Blerg Wed 20-Jan-21 12:23:20

GypsyLee

Looking after your own kids and being asked to support their learning is being thrown under a bus, lol.
I wonder why people have kids at all these days. sad

Did anyone have kids expecting to have to work ft, look after them and home educate them all at the same time?

JesusInTheCabbageVan Wed 20-Jan-21 12:24:07

slashlover

YABU, everyone is struggling.

So far on here we've had posts about how it's so much worse for all parents, wfh parents, keyworker parents, young kids, teenagers, uni students, elderly people, single parents, people living alone, people living separately to their DP, people living with their DP, people with mh issues etc.

This response implies that because everyone is struggling, nobody is allowed to talk about it. Which I'm sure wasn't the intention. Perhaps it was just poorly thought through.

CaptainVanesHair Wed 20-Jan-21 12:24:40

I think this is throwing up issues with schools themselves in terms of who needs more funding etc. Dds school have the kids on full time zoom lessons until 2. It’s been better for mess the teacher is there for any guidance, but mostly it’s just been so much better for the pupils. Not only are they being taught but the class can still engage with one another. It’s working so much better than the first lockdown. What I can’t understand is why no one made sure all schools had resources to enable this.

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