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To think this woman was just being a dick/trying to make things hard for people who are distancing?

(256 Posts)
thepeopleversuswork Mon 18-Jan-21 16:19:35

In a small, dirty and pretty crowded corner shop with my DD. We're in SE London in one of the areas with highest case rates. I am trying as far as possible to avoid going out at all beyond walks in the park and this is the first time I've been in a shop for 10 days so I'm a bit jumpy about it and trying to get in and out as fast and safely as possible.

Shop is crowded, people queueing near the till, not distanced at all, a couple of kids not wearing masks. There was a gaggle of three late middle-aged women chatting next to the till, making it difficult to distance by the till (and thus pretty unsafe for the person serving as there was a very insufficient screen) and blocking the exit out of the shop.

I pointedly - maybe being a bit OTT -- waited as far back from the front of the queue as I could before paying which I would have thought signalled that I was taking distancing pretty seriously and wanted to be given a wide berth.

After I paid and walked towards the shop exit, trying to swerve the women gossiping by the door, a 2p piece escaped from my purse because it hadn't been zipped up properly. One of the women huddling by the till picked it up: I was just on my way towards the door and she started walking towards me to give me the 2p back. I said: "don't worry about it, just put it in the charity box" and indicated I was on my way out and that I was more interested in preserving the distance. She moved right in close towards me and I said: "no I'm distancing, can you just keep it or put in the charity box please?". She comes right up to me and sticks the bloody 2p piece in my coat pocket with her grimy hand and pats my pocket. I looked visibly irritated and walked off and I heard her say "calm down, love, I was doing you a favour," as I was walking out of the door.

I turned around and said loudly (so the rest of the people massing by the till could hear" "Sorry but I'm not prepared to risk catching COVID for the sake of a 2 pence piece. I did make this pretty clear but if you can't understand that then perhaps you shouldn't be going out at all and certainly not hanging about by the till."

I heard her shouting: "stuck up cow" out of the doorway as I walked off.

Maybe I was a bit of an arse but this is exactly how COVID spreads. Totally unnecessary contact: people's attitude to saving small change in this country is so bonkers anyway: I know money is tight for a lot of people but who thinks that saving 2p is going to be worthwhile if you lose your job due to sickness?

I get that its easier for some people to distance than others and maybe she thought I was being precious but it really fucks me off when people impose their laissez faire attitude on others. It's one thing to just forget every now and then but I seriously think some people actually enjoy making those who taking it seriously feel uncomfortable...

OP’s posts: |
UsernameSpoosername Mon 18-Jan-21 16:22:49

I do agree OP, it is annoying when people don’t social distance - I just think ‘are you stupid or have you forgotten?’

But I do think you need to calm down a bit too!

Mintjulia Mon 18-Jan-21 16:29:40

Why did you go into a small and crowded shop in the first place? The virus in air-borne so it's a dangerous environment to start with. And after she put the coin in your pocket, it would have been safer to just leave, rather than projecting particles by speaking loudly.

Sorry, I know it's annoying but take care. Is your daughter adult? Could she have gone in on her own?

LochJessMonster Mon 18-Jan-21 16:29:42

People will say you need to calm down but actually even without a pandemic if I told someone to just put it in the charity box and they came up and put it in my pocket, I would be pissed.

It seems like a big deal ‘only 2p’ ‘being helpful’ ‘minimal contact’ etc but it is things like that that pass it on.

thepeopleversuswork Mon 18-Jan-21 16:39:02

Mintjulia I had run out of basics and couldn’t get a delivery until Thursday. I’m a single mum and don’t have any support so sometimes going to shops is unavoidable. I can’t leave my daughter at home.

OP’s posts: |
sunsetorange Mon 18-Jan-21 16:43:58

YANBU OP, this would annoy me too even in non covid times. Would not appreciate a stranger putting their hands in my pocket, even if they were 'doing me a favour'.

ShirleyPhallus Mon 18-Jan-21 16:47:27

Mintjulia

Why did you go into a small and crowded shop in the first place? The virus in air-borne so it's a dangerous environment to start with. And after she put the coin in your pocket, it would have been safer to just leave, rather than projecting particles by speaking loudly.

Sorry, I know it's annoying but take care. Is your daughter adult? Could she have gone in on her own?

Yeah I agree with this. Your actions are a bit at odds with one another.

But the general public are just awful really. Full of all sorts of people you’d never socialise with given the choice.

WhoseThatGirl Mon 18-Jan-21 16:51:56

Some people are dicks. They were before covid and they are now. Good on you for pointing it out to them but I doubt they will change.

Samcro Mon 18-Jan-21 16:54:10

Go to waitrose next time, hopefully not any grubby people there.

thepeopleversuswork Mon 18-Jan-21 16:55:37

Samcro there isn’t a Waitrose within walking distance. My Sainsbury’s is even worse than this.

OP’s posts: |
formerbabe Mon 18-Jan-21 16:57:27

What a fucking idiot...her, not you.

Yanbu

QualityRoads Mon 18-Jan-21 17:00:52

Going into shops is Russian roulette at the moment. No guarantee how people will behave. Sorry this happened to you, op.

Wheresmykimchi Mon 18-Jan-21 17:02:47

Would you have done the same if it was an elderly gentleman talking by the door and giving you it back with his clean hand rather than a middle aged women with her grimy hand?

Rosebel Mon 18-Jan-21 17:08:47

I'd be pissed off too. Good for you for calling her out on it. I probably would have just seethed silently about it.
She probably won't change but might make her think next time.

JingsMahBucket Mon 18-Jan-21 17:10:27

YANBU @thepeopleversuswork. I audibly gasped when I read that she put in her hand your pocket. WTH. You don’t even do that to a stranger in pre-pandemic times. No excuse for that unless your hands are full and they ask you to touch you first in order to put a dropped glove in your pocket or something. Gross, otherwise.

JingsMahBucket Mon 18-Jan-21 17:11:12

Wheresmykimchi

Would you have done the same if it was an elderly gentleman talking by the door and giving you it back with his clean hand rather than a middle aged women with her grimy hand?

I would have. Why the heck not?

MedusasBadHairDay Mon 18-Jan-21 17:14:35

sunsetorange

YANBU OP, this would annoy me too even in non covid times. Would not appreciate a stranger putting their hands in my pocket, even if they were 'doing me a favour'.

Quite. It's never been acceptable to stick your hand into a strangers pocket. Even without covid that's a massive invasion of personal space.

StepOutOfLine Mon 18-Jan-21 17:15:21

What does her age have to do with anything?
She was giving you your money back, doing you a favour. As she said. Trying to be kind.

You were much ruder than she was.

SeasonFinale Mon 18-Jan-21 17:16:50

Whilst I totally agree with the sentiment behind your post the way you have articulated it and described the place As "dirty" and the people does indeed indicate that you probably come across as stuck up.

RoSEbuds6 Mon 18-Jan-21 17:17:27

I do sympathise with you OP, and I am also in SE London, and you do get the impression that some people just don't listen to the news or take an interest in the outside world at all. I once asked a person on a bike who was getting very close to me to back off a bit and his quite posh wife told me to F off! Really if you are going to leave the house and go to the shops, for your own sanity, you just have to wear a mask, glooves and try to zone out. There's no way proper social distancing happens in our local Sainsburys, so you just have to go with the flow and get out as quickly as you can.

Wheresmykimchi Mon 18-Jan-21 17:18:08

@JingsMahBucket you might have but perhaps you are not the snob that OP is based on her post.

ShandlersWig Mon 18-Jan-21 17:18:29

I dont understand why you went in the shop in the first place? If you're in SE London there would have been another shop close by that you could have tried.

MynephewR Mon 18-Jan-21 17:19:00

Why do you describe her hand as grimy OP? Was it visibly covered in mud or something? I can see why she called you stuck up tbh.

Wheresmykimchi Mon 18-Jan-21 17:21:10

MynephewR

Why do you describe her hand as grimy OP? Was it visibly covered in mud or something? I can see why she called you stuck up tbh.

Cause she was a middle aged woman gossiping in a dirty shop , of course. hmm

SomersetHamlyn Mon 18-Jan-21 17:22:31

@Samcro
Go to waitrose next time, hopefully not any grubby people there.

I went to waitrose this afternoon and it was absolutely fucking awful. People crowding round the reduced section. No distancing
People.standing chatting in the entrance with no masks.

It was my first time in a supermarket for weeks and I won't be doing it again even if we do run out of essentials.

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