(Namechange as outing)
I shall try my best (!) to not make this emotional and simply present the facts, but AIBU to be upset by my mother’s news that my sibling has once again been given money.
Backstory:
- I am one of three children who have all benefitted from a large (six figure each) equal inheritance via our late grandparent (in the last four years).
- We are (or were) all married with an equal amount of children.
- Middle sibling moved abroad several years ago, has a history of alcohol abuse and generally destructive behaviour, and has been living off the inheritance quite recklessly and with no income (eg. Renting several properties at once because they keep changing their mind and moving before the contract is up, spending thousands on designer clothes that don’t fit their lifestyle, training in various careers that they either haven’t completed or haven’t taken forward).
- Their abusive behaviour led to their spouse demanding a divorce (which has since gone through). I witnessed some drunken behaviour by my sibling on a family holiday that shocked me to my core and I was not surprised by the divorce. Since then sibling has “given up” (read: reduced) their alcohol intake but has taken to more... ‘herbal’ means of relaxation.
- Sibling’s ex-spouse has a mobile phone recording of my sibling attacking them - screaming, punches, head butting - which they are using to essentially blackmail my sibling into agreeing to their demands (joint custody, school of ex-spouse’s choice etc). Sibling has agreed to it all and now only has the children 2 weeks out of every month.
- Sibling regularly accuses my mother of not loving them and never supporting them. Mother has trouble sleeping for fear of sibling’s future.
- My sibling does not have a job and has either been sacked or has quit every employment as they seemingly cannot work for others. It’s always the same story - nobody is ever as good as sibling, sibling could do a better job themselves, sibling has plans to make millions etc etc.
- Sibling also presents an incredible social media presence - always looking amazing and happy - all laughter and light. Family members often comment on how well sibling has done in life.
- Sibling is renting a property well out of their means. Think height of luxury. It is also on the market. As sibling has squandered 3/4 of their inheritance and has no job, they are unable to afford the property or secure a mortgage.
- Instead of looking for a property within their budget or seeking employment, sibling declared that they would ‘ask the universe’ and the universe would provide.
- They then approached my parents for an additional six-figure sum to buy it... and my parents have said yes.
I am devastated. It’s not that I want or feel that I deserve the money, but I am hurt that the member of our family who has done so much emotional damage to us all, and who keeps taking without ever giving, keeps coming out on top.
They get themselves into these situations and always, always seem to end up rewarded. There is no way on Earth that sibling will ever be able to pay this money back. I’m not even sure where my parents have got it from.
Apologies for length but didn’t want to drip feed and as you can tell there are wounds and grievances that go back many years. Sibling and I used to be extremely close but their constant entitlement has worn thin and our relationship is now virtually non-existent. I re-trained recently into a new career and it would take me close to 10 years to make the money that my sibling has now been gifted. Parents don’t want any hassle - they just desperately want sibling to be happy (but they never will be).
I realise how lucky I am and talking about money is completely yuck. But AIBU to be upset that my sibling has been given this money?