Neighbour reporting me to the council for anti social behaviour

[Smile345]

I'm so stressed and anxious, not slept or eaten in days. We live in a semi detached property. Two children, one a toddler. My neighbour has complained numerous times over the past few weeks about noise.
My husband making a lot of noise leaving for work at 6.30 am, I assured her I would ask him to be quieter. He literally creeps around now. Another complaint, my daughter was like an 'animal' using the stairs, I have now put a baby gate up so she cannot use them. Another, we're banging/slamming doors in the early hours (I have no idea what she's talking about), we're a busy family and are in bed by 10pm! However, I've put door silencers on every single door.
She is incredibly rude when she has knocked the door, making out I'm a bad parent. She's an older lady and a widow and I feel like I've genuinely tried my best to resolve all issues.
I'm terrified of what the repercussions from the council will be as I don't know what else I can do. We both own our homes. Also, it's likely that at some point one of my children could wake during the night (nightmare/illness). Any advice greatly appreciated.

[Trumplosttheelection]

Stop creeping around. You are doing nothing wrong and the council will establish that. They are used to malicious complainants. That's what this is.

[RedHelenB]

You've taken reasonable steps to be quiet. Unfortunately she will just have to learn to adjust to normal family noise YANBU.

[Sparklesocks]

Please try not to worry. Noises like footsteps and children playing are often deemed as normal and councils can’t take any action on it in the way they can music/parties/machinery etc. Have you looked at your council’s website and seen what they define as nuisance noise? Most likely what you’ve described above doesn’t fit into it.

[dontdisturbmenow]

Unless she's been recording the noise for some time and can prove the decibels are high for hours in, they are unlikely to take her seriously. Some houses mean that you do hear everything.

[Shehasadiamondinthesky]

If she wants complete silence then she needs to move. Stop creeping about and tell her to get some noise blocking earphones ff's.
I live in an over 50s cul de sac because I don't want to hear family noise. Its lovely and quiet here and suits me perfectly.
You don't go and live in a forest and then demand to have all the trees cut down because they are annoying you!!

[GingerAndTheBiscuits]

Council will likely ask her to keep a noise diary then install noise monitoring equipment if they have any concerns. Vanishingly unlikely they will take action against normal household noise. Doesn’t make things any easier for you though OP, she sounds like a nightmare

[MrsWooster]

This may well be her problem, not yours. If she’s complaining about things that you KNOW aren’t happening (like early hours noise) then she’s either malicious or deluded. Take the grey rock option to her complaints as far as you can, respond if necessary in writing (keep copies) and keep responses minimal and factual. Mostly, live your life -with reasonable consideration for others but live your life.

[FatCatThinCat]

Try not to worry. My old neighbour reported us to the council for noise. I too was upset. The outcome was the council investigated and told me to ignore further complaints as it was the neighbour who was being a nuisance. If yours is like mine you'll never be quiet enough as they want to hear nothing, ever. Which isn't normal.

[HelloThereMeHearties]

She is the nuisance neighbour here, not you. You can stop worrying, even if she calls the council as other PPs have said they will need to measure the MASSIVE DECIBELS that you are causing

[HikeForward]

By ‘the early hours’ does she mean your husband going to work? If he leaves at 6:30 presumably he gets up earlier (?5am) and has to shower, have breakfast, get dressed etc. As long as he’s as quiet as possible I don’t see the issue (is he banging cupboard/wardrobe doors or running up and down the stairs?) Getting up so early you do need to be light footed and quiet especially near the adjoining wall.

You can’t help the kids waking up in the night occasionally. As long as it’s not hours of crying or screaming or kids running about/banging her wall in the night I don’t think she has any grounds to complain.

Maybe the sound proofing is bad so a toddler thumping on the stairs echoes through her house?

[FatCatThinCat]

Mine complained about DH leaving for work at 6.30. Apparently it's anti social to start a car before 7.00. She even complained that he shovelled the snow too loudly.

[Maves]

What do you me complained to the council? I'm in the same position couple in their 30's they are being ridiculous complaining about talking! And a child screeching the odd time, they got recording equipment and it's been deemed normal household noise but I was told to keep it down a bit as they are so upset. It's literally just normal life. No loud music, no adults shouting or anything late at night they've got it good tbf.

I have neighbours in their 70s the other side who don't hear a thing. The recording equipment that environmental health give them records in 30 second bursts which seems a bit daft. When they first moved in it was an old woman on her own here so a family moving in has topped them over the edge. But yeah I wouldn't worry just live your life.

[Bookriddle]

I wouldnt of even made the adjustments you have made, just sounds like normal family noise, next time she ckmes round, politely tell her to fuck off

[LastTrainEast]

It's good that you changed some things to be considerate, but there's only so much you can do or be expected to do. The council will not do anything to you. You can relax.

You don't have to do any more, but if neighbour is elderly and lonely is there any way to make her your friend. It's more comfortable in the long run.

[ThreeFeetTall]

I used to be a housing officer. Obviously we have only heard your side of the story here but from what you've written it sounds like a clash of lifestyles, not ASB.
Given the current lockdown she is possibly quite lonely and spending lots of time living in her own head if you know what I mean. In my experience some people start to take noise very personally- is 'they are stamping on the stairs on purpose just to annoy me' - when clearly this is not the case.

If there are steps you could take to lessen the noise like carpeting the stairs or your husband not running the car for a long time before work then I would do them, but otherwise just be polite to her when you see her and try to not worry about it too much.

[jessycake]

Before christmas we had a mouse infestation and I swear they were wearing hobnail boots , my ears became hypersensive and I could hear all sorts of noise that I had taken no notice of before . In fact my house and next doors still sounds noisier, so I presume she is tuned into it .Be nice to her but make sure she understands that you are doing normal activities and won't change that .

[FippertyGibbett]

You need to log every complaint she makes.
Sounds like she is being unreasonable, and might start to harass you.

[endofthelinefinally]

The council will do nothing. You are not causing any kind of noise nuisance. Please try to ignore her.
The threshold for council action is extremely high. Think rock band rehearsing 24/7 level. ( Bitter experience).

[Smile345]

@HikeForward

By ‘the early hours’ does she mean your husband going to work? If he leaves at 6:30 presumably he gets up earlier (?5am) and has to shower, have breakfast, get dressed etc. As long as he’s as quiet as possible I don’t see the issue (is he banging cupboard/wardrobe doors or running up and down the stairs?) Getting up so early you do need to be light footed and quiet especially near the adjoining wall.

You can’t help the kids waking up in the night occasionally. As long as it’s not hours of crying or screaming or kids running about/banging her wall in the night I don’t think she has any grounds to complain.

Maybe the sound proofing is bad so a toddler thumping on the stairs echoes through her house?

My husband gets up at 6am to leave by 6.30am. He's so quiet, I don't hear him, he doesn't wake the kids. He picks up breakfast on his way to work, gets his clothes ready the night before, anything he can really to get up later.
I do think there's an issue with soundproofing, I hear her but I accepted this could be possible in a semi. Thank you so much for your response.

[TheProvincialLady]

Next time she comes to complain say “We have made all the reasonable adjustments we can to be good neighbours, and won’t be changing anything else. If you feel you need to make a formal complaint to the noise pollution department at the council then that is your right but DO NOT knock on my door again because it’s starting to feel like harassment, which I am sure you don’t intend.”

[TheProvincialLady]

The council won’t do anything whatsoever by the way, as she won’t be able to demonstrate any kind of a noise nuisance.

[ThreeFeetTall]

Ask, how do you know she has complained to the council- because the council have contacted you? Or because she has told you? I think the two are a bit different

[Fuckitsstillraining]

I'd ignore her or I'd print out the council contact details and the next time she complains I'd hand the printout to her and ask her to please get on with the complaint so the council can deal with it. Then tell her she is not to knock on your door again, instead she is to call the council each time. Normal household noise will not be entertained as a problem by the council. I know some noise can be really difficult to live beside, I was so glad to move back to the countryside after a few years beside a woman who thought DIY should start at 10pm and that power washing the house and roof was acceptable at 11pm, house was semi detached so she washed all the shit from the roof down on to my windows and doors!! Her partner cleaned up after her the next day.