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Does this seem harsh or me being too sensitive ?

(47 Posts)
Makingplansfornigel Thu 03-Dec-20 20:35:08

Was getting unsoliticed Facebook messages from a few random men, as was a friend of mine.
I just ignored the messages or blocked, creepy messages suggesting rude things by total strangers.
Anyway, I told a mutual friend and she laughed and said that I must be giving off a certain vibe to these men and probably doing something that makes them send me these messages, and that they are probably all talking about me together.
Then she said I should probably delete social media altogether.
Her and another friend also suggested i'd get a 'slut' reputation if I were to go on dates with a 3rd guy in 7 months, (I had had 1 month 'relationships' with 2 prior to him).

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HollowTalk Thu 03-Dec-20 20:36:17

Well, I hope she's never on a rape jury.

You need better friends, OP.

Makingplansfornigel Thu 03-Dec-20 20:38:01

Yeah, i've not exactly got revealing pictures or anything and even if I had it doesn't mean I should receive that sort of attention.
I think the 'slut' thing was a bit unnecessary too. As it happens they are in very long-term relationships and don't know how hard it can be for people to meet others.

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SleepingStandingUp Thu 03-Dec-20 20:40:04

3 dates on 7onths males you a slut or sex with 3 men in 7 months? I mean neither of those is a big deal and your "friends" are awful, I'm just wondering how crazy they actually are

Gandalf456 Thu 03-Dec-20 20:40:48

What???

I'm 50 and get the odd random friend request. It's probably from some game site I'm on and they think I have money or something.

Where do you think they might have got your details? A dating site? Is there any way you can change your settings?

Your friend is an idiot . Of course you're not doing anything and I very much doubt they know each other or are laughing amongst themselves. What an odd thing to say

Emeraldshamrock Thu 03-Dec-20 20:43:10

They sound like jealous 12 year olds I'd ignore them or accuse them of victim blaming.
I serial dated for about a year at one point not DTD with them.
I went on about 20 different dates had fun after a long relationship.

Makingplansfornigel Thu 03-Dec-20 20:47:12

They meant sex with 3 men in 7 months I think. I think SOME people in long-term relationships as I said forget that it's not easy for everybody to meet people who they can have something long-term with.
It was because they were all from the same town (a town of 65,000 people !) not exactly some tiny hamlet where everybody knows each other, and even if, so what.

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Makingplansfornigel Thu 03-Dec-20 20:48:31

I didn't date the 3rd guy in the end as a result, believe it or not 4 friends told me i'd get a 'rep', and only two said they were being ridiculous.
I told the friend how I felt and she apologised and said she was just joking.

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MrsTerryPratchett Thu 03-Dec-20 20:50:19

If you'd shagged 3 men in 7 days it wouldn't be their business to call you misogynistic names. 3 men in 7 hours I'd worry about cystitis but that's me.

I get weird friend requests and I have politics and landscape with the odd food or family post. It's the men. It's not you.

Makingplansfornigel Thu 03-Dec-20 20:52:23

Yeah exactly it's none of their business.
Hahah the cystitis would be awful for sure.
Yeah, some men do seem to send these messages out to any female to be honest, sure I was one of many.

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feelingsadtoday2021 Thu 03-Dec-20 20:54:57

Your friends are so judgemental and weird

Makingplansfornigel Thu 03-Dec-20 20:56:49

I put a picture of a treatment I had done, seems shallow but it really cheered me up and boosted my confidence having it, and made a difference physically, anyone one replied probably out of politeness and the rest of them ignored it haha

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Smallsteps88 Thu 03-Dec-20 20:57:06

Her and another friend also suggested i'd get a 'slut' reputation if I were to go on dates with a 3rd guy in 7 months

Who would know you’d dated or slept with 3 men though? confused who did they think would be giving you this reputation? Surely only close friends would know about your sex life and close friends wouldn’t think you were a “slut”, would they?

Makingplansfornigel Thu 03-Dec-20 20:57:12

On a group chat* I meant

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Makingplansfornigel Thu 03-Dec-20 20:57:57

Yeah they seem to think every man in this town of 65,000 knows each other well.

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Emeraldshamrock Thu 03-Dec-20 21:00:17

If they ignored your photo they're mean or are against it.
I'd bet they're immature and trying to bring you down.
I'm interested in what you had done breasts or lips

Makingplansfornigel Thu 03-Dec-20 21:00:59

Neither of those haha don't wanna say in case it's outing sorry, but maybe they thought I didn't need it but still.

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Emeraldshamrock Thu 03-Dec-20 21:03:16

@Makingplansfornigel I'm only kidding. smile It might be time to meet new friends some single ones branch out.
It won't be the first time friends in a relationship become insecure of their single friend.
Your not doing anything wrong dating, date 20 men if you choose just don't let them find out about each other. grin

Emeraldshamrock Thu 03-Dec-20 21:06:03

To answer your question. You're not being over sensitive they were harsh.

Makingplansfornigel Thu 03-Dec-20 21:07:56

Thanks, yeah it's weird, it's not like i've had a rib removed or something, a very minor treatment but it's really boosted me.
Haha don't think i'd have time for 20 😀

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PyongyangKipperbang Thu 03-Dec-20 21:09:21

HollowTalk

Well, I hope she's never on a rape jury.

You need better friends, OP.

Well quite.

And sadly so many people who think like this are on juries which is why the rape conviction rate is so appallingly low.

OP get better friends. FWIW, I had this a few times, all in the same couple of weeks. My profile was on the tightest privacy settings and my profile picture was from my favourite TV show (all male main cast so no sexy women on there!). There are just some sad individuals out there who get their jollies from shit like this.

thosetalesofunexpected Thu 03-Dec-20 21:19:02

DTD what is that?

mumsiedarlingrevolta Thu 03-Dec-20 21:21:47

thosetalesofunexpected

DTD what is that?

doing the deed grin

StrictlyAFemaleFemale Thu 03-Dec-20 21:26:45

Can you socially distance yourself from these friends? Permanently?

Makingplansfornigel Thu 03-Dec-20 21:31:20

I feel like it yeah 😀

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