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To confront this " colleague?"

(58 Posts)
malificent7 Wed 02-Dec-20 19:03:16

On placement.All students. Failed a test . I can retake it. One colleague mocked it by saying " i heard you have to get 35 marks wrong to get a fail."
So she had worked out out then told me when she knew i was feeling shit sbout it. And also goes on about how amazing she is and makes negative comments about other people's performance....even qualified staff way above us. She told me that the staff thought another colleague " wasn't that good."
She never says any of this to their face btw ....always behind peoples back.
We are all students btw so learning and none of us are 100% amazing.

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malificent7 Wed 02-Dec-20 19:03:46

Aibu to tell her that she was tactless?

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StormzyInaDCup Wed 02-Dec-20 19:49:55

Just ask her what her point is? It's hardly constructive or nice. So what was her point, other than to make you feel bad and her superior?

I'm sure she will go far op 🙄

malificent7 Wed 02-Dec-20 20:30:54

All the men love her as she is young, pretty and says the right thing to the right people.

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malificent7 Wed 02-Dec-20 20:32:28

I also think peole are scared of her as she is "sassy" . Aka....says it like it is...aka bitchy!

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BagBoneSpawnShot Wed 02-Dec-20 20:38:19

You sound like you have a problem with her in general. It's not her fault you failed your exam, regardless of her tactlessness.
Your last comment "All the men love her as she is young, pretty and says the right thing to the right people" sounds rather mean and riddled with jealousy.

Focus on yourself, ignore her and avoid her if she riles you up. Don't let her spoil your experience. If she is everything you say she is, it won't endear her to future colleagues and she'll soon get a wake-up call.

Cheesypea Wed 02-Dec-20 20:39:12

Pull her up when she says something at the time, try and have a response prepared if you get caught out. dont stew on it. She's probably enjoying getting a rise out of you and looking for a easy target. It's not you.

Anordinarymum Wed 02-Dec-20 20:45:11

Yeah... pull her when she offends and shame her.

malificent7 Wed 02-Dec-20 20:47:07

Can't wait to see the back of her when we finish in 2 weeks. I do have a massive problem with her because as soon as someone walks out of the room she will bitch about them.

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LadyLindaT Wed 02-Dec-20 20:58:41

I would suggest that you not bother about her, and just focus on your own life.
Her negativity is her problem. Don't make it yours. x

IHaveBrilloHair Wed 02-Dec-20 21:02:24

Ignore.
She'll shut up when she realises she doesn't have an audience.

malificent7 Wed 02-Dec-20 21:03:09

Also she got close to this one girl then was very quick to get information from the qualified staff about how this girl wasn't. " very good" at her job.

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malificent7 Wed 02-Dec-20 21:05:12

Its the fact that she has directly been a bitch to me. Also, and this is prob a bit schoolgirl, she is very close friend with one of my best friends and now, as a result, i will keep them both at arms length!

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Calmandmeasured1 Wed 02-Dec-20 21:09:05

You should have said something at the time. I wouldn't bother confronting her now but be ready for next time. If she says anything horrid about anyone else, pull her up on it. Just say something like "That's very unkind of you to say that". It will probably stop her in her tracks.

plumpootle Wed 02-Dec-20 21:10:27

OP you will meet lots of people like this in your career. Be bright and breezy, never let her see if she gets to you. Ignore. Focus on you, work on your self esteem and she will
Target others and leave you alone.

sparticuscaticus Wed 02-Dec-20 21:14:37

Meh
Office politics, there's always a passive aggressive person somewhere
She is this offices

If you have nothing to put her complaint in about then either ignore her or play her at her own game

"Oh my lord, Susan was bitching about you yesterday... she said blah blah.., and that blah blah... this is what she told me about you..."
you'll be leaving there in two weeks, sink her bitch ship

Or ignore her and raise any eyebrow "That sounds catty Susan"

sparticuscaticus Wed 02-Dec-20 21:15:09

HR complaint not her complaint - doh

ZenNudist Wed 02-Dec-20 21:16:10

Yanbu BUT ywbu to say anything. Just keep your head down and judge her.

malificent7 Wed 02-Dec-20 21:17:33

I did tell her that the colleagues were being VERY unprofessional in disclosing how crap our colleague was to her. She said " if you say so..." I said " I do say so....."

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Babyg1995 Wed 02-Dec-20 21:18:11

Wouldn't waste my tbh you should have said at the time pointless now dont let her bother you.

malificent7 Wed 02-Dec-20 21:19:17

I was so shocked tbh i couldnt beleive i was hearing it! Dumbfounded.

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thosetalesofunexpected Wed 02-Dec-20 21:28:05

Hi Op
I totally get where you are coming from too.

Btwn you and me your Colleague sounds like a right Arsehole !!

I can't stand people like that op.

Sooner or later her false phoney mask the charade of pretending she is nice decent person, will falter,she reveal her true colour's.

Karma works in mystery ways.

Don't let her Crap,negative attitude get to you,(I know its easier said than done..

Don't let her bother you so much, it will irritate her, your college, get under skin and piss her off more.

l.o.l (good result win situation for you..

TillyTopper Wed 02-Dec-20 21:31:09

Just ignore her, concentrate on your course, and get on with life. Don't let her suck your energy.

AmorFattyOwlOne Wed 02-Dec-20 21:33:28

Shine a light on what she's doing, with insouciance, if you can.

Half laughing, say ''Gosh, well, I feel a bit shit now, was that your intention?'' and she will say ''no no no'' and you have to take her at face value then and just say ''I'm so relieved!'' that might sound like too weak an interaction to stop her in her tracks but it puts her on notice.

Humiliating somebody is not something a secure confident person does.

Audreyseyebrows Wed 02-Dec-20 21:33:52

Are you both Nursing students?

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