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AIBU?

To give up bed or not

98 replies

aijaine · 01/12/2020 01:09

So my mother in law wants to stay round every weekend which is nice for the kids but I am now 8 months pregnant and finding it hard to sleep on the sofa while the in-laws take our bed.
Aibu to think my husband should stick up for me and tell them that I really need the bed right now.
I just assumed they wouldn't expect me to sleep on the hard sofa with sciatica and a big ass baby in my stomach.
Maybe I'm wrong and I'm being rude please let me know x

OP posts:

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RayOfSunshine2013 · 01/12/2020 01:11

What

I’d absolutely not give my bed up for anybody at 8 months pregnant.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/12/2020 01:12

What the actual fuck??

No op you should not be kicked out of your bed so Granny can play sleepovers. Get her a view to bed in the kids room if it's for their benefit

41weekswithno2 · 01/12/2020 01:12

Your mil wants to stay at yours every weekend and you're expected to give up your bed?! Fuck that. Tell your dh you're not doing it anymore.
Also are you sure it's nice for your kids to have their grandparents there every single weekend? I loved my grandparents and still wouldn't have wanted them staying at ours every weekend. Kids mainly just want to spend time with their parents (until they're teenagers anyway)

SleepingStandingUp · 01/12/2020 01:13

How far away does she live? Why does she need to sleep over? Surely they're in bed Peru early and then she's cramping yours and DHS style am night? What about when baby comes and you're bleeding and leaking? Will you be expected to take baby and sleep on the couch 3 days pp? Where does DH sleep? Why are you putting up with this?

NorthernBirdAtHeart · 01/12/2020 01:14

No, you’re absolutely not being unreasonable. And your DH and in-laws are horrid to expect an 8 month pregnant woman to sleep on the sofa. WTAF?!

TheHobbitMum · 01/12/2020 01:16

Wtf! No she shouldn't gave your bed! That is fucked up and I wouldn't give my bed up, ever!

alexis4theppl · 01/12/2020 01:17

Wtf, no way. Why have you agreed to this arrangement?

Don't think I'd give up my bed EVERY weekend for anyone.

FredtheFerret · 01/12/2020 01:20

This is insane. Who puts their pregnant DIL out of her own bed every weekend to suit their selfish wishes?

Tell DH This stops now or I leave.

SingingSands · 01/12/2020 01:22

Nothing wrong in sticking up for yourself OP.

"MIL, I'm very uncomfortable on the sofa, I need my bed. We'd love to see you during the day but we all need to sleep in our own beds at night."

Does your MIL travel far to visit you? Why is it every weekend?

SleepingStandingUp · 01/12/2020 01:22

Who puts their Pregnant WIFE out to keep Mummy happy?

krustykittens · 01/12/2020 01:32

"Who puts their Pregnant WIFE out to keep Mummy happy?"

THIS! With fecking bells on!

FredtheFerret · 01/12/2020 01:35

Well exactly! But I was thinking her DH is perhaps a bit dumb...whereas MIL has been pregnant and knows how exhausting and uncomfortable it is towards the end.

She knows exactly what she's doing to the OP.

VetiverAndLavender · 01/12/2020 01:51

I wouldn't give up my bed at any time, pregnant or not, unless it was for someone I dearly loved who was very elderly. And even then, it wouldn't last for long!

I'd feel so guilty for kicking someone out of their own bed. It strikes me as very strange for someone to be okay with that. Strange and selfish. It's their bed. They'll be comfortable there. As a guest, any bed in their home will be different from what I'm used to, so my hosts might as well be comfortable, since I probably won't be, no matter where I sleep.

Maskedcrusader · 01/12/2020 01:56

Absolutely not, take back your bed. If I was staying at someone's house I wouldn't expect them to give up their bed pregnant or not.

Jobsharenightmare · 01/12/2020 02:01

In my culture it is extremely rude unheard of even not to give family guests the best room of the house. That said, from the time of about 6 months or sooner if ill it would be the norm for guests to decline the usual offer.

Thedogscollar · 01/12/2020 02:30

Christ on a bike I've heard it all now. Your MIL has some neck thats for sure. I'd be having words with her and DH that the sleepovers stop now unless she wants to sleep on the settee

WhereYouLeftIt · 01/12/2020 03:03

"my mother in law wants to stay round every weekend"

'I want' doesn't mean 'I get' (as my mother used to tell me). I am gobsmacked that your husband and in-laws are expecting this of you. It stops today. It stops right now. Point out to your husband that you will no longer be giving up your bed to his mother because you need it and have done for some time you oblivious fuckwit. If she wants to sleepover (Why? Why?) then the sofa is all hers.

And why in god's name is she coming round like this?

Your in-laws sound deranged, and your husband sounds like a mummy's boy. Not a good combination.

HooverWhenTheCoastIsClear · 01/12/2020 03:13

@SleepingStandingUp

Who puts their Pregnant WIFE out to keep Mummy happy?

A wanker

LaBellina · 01/12/2020 03:15

Surely this can't be real.
I can't believe someone would actually expect a (heavily!) pregnant woman to give up her bed and sleep on the sofa.

If this is actually a real story, YANBU at all, I think your husband is a dick who should have put his foot down a lot earlier and I'm sure there's a special place in hell for any mother (MIL) who'd do this to another expectant mother (you).

HooverWhenTheCoastIsClear · 01/12/2020 03:16

Your husband is a moron.

His mother and father turn up every weekend and you sleep on the sofa?
Just say to him,
'I'm pregnant. I'm not sleeping on the fucking sofa. If your parents visit then they sleep on the sofa or you buy them a blow up mattress.'

Then get into your bed. And stage a lie down protest.

How old is his mother? Are they mad?

boredasf · 01/12/2020 03:29

What the fuck op. Does your husband give a fuck about you in any facet of life? I can bet not.

Like fuck would my PIL

A) be staying over every weekend
B) ever get my bed
C) get my bed whilst pregnant

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/12/2020 04:23

How rude of them and horrible of your husband. Do you even want them here each week? Are they also going to expect you to do this post partum? Ffs.

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MessAllOver · 01/12/2020 04:33

Actually, I found it easier to sleep on the sofa for the last few weeks as I was properly supported sleeping sideways and my back was slightly raised which relieved heartburn .

That aside, no, you absolutely should not be expected to give up your bed. Put a bed in the kids' room for MIL. A logically prior point is that you should not be expected to have MIL visiting every weekend - surely you have plans of your own you'd like to do some weekends?

avamiah · 01/12/2020 04:42

OMG , just when I thought I had heard it all ??
I would personally put a tent up in my small garden for them .

NoSquirrels · 01/12/2020 05:07

Whereabouts are you, OP? Overnight visits are banned most places in the UK at the moment, which is handy.

Do not give up your bed.
Do not have your in-laws to stay.

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