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Hate this 80% of the time

(266 Posts)
Nomoreboobs Mon 30-Nov-20 12:58:37

Start off by saying, I adore my Dd, 2.6 years old. We waited years to have her and some days are amazing..but, the majority aren’t. Does/has anyone else found this age ridiculously hard? Does it get easier, if so, when is that exactly?
My life feels like an endless cycle at the moment and recently I’ve felt myself really pining for my child free days-they were so easy..but then I feel guilty.
I remember years ago, a friend who had a small child explained it to me as being ‘Relentless’ my mum said it was an awful thing to say and that it wasn’t..I’m inclined to feel my friend was right,

OP’s posts: |
PissedOffProf Mon 30-Nov-20 13:04:08

Four. It will most likely stop when she is four. Toddlers are satan's little minions. Ages 2-3.5 are, in my opinion, the worst. Worse than having a newborn. Good thing that they are cute.

In a nutshell - you've got 1.5 years to go. Start ticking the days off the calendar.

Pippa12 Mon 30-Nov-20 13:05:10

I definitely felt like this with my mischievous but beautiful and curious little boy. He’s 4 now and more independent. My DH said he’ll have no more children because of the tremendous 2’s (we have a little girl but my boy was on another level!) and I’m (secretly!) inclined to agree. But don’t worry, once they hit 3 life does start to get easier!

Todayisanewday75 Mon 30-Nov-20 13:05:57

Don’t feel guilty, it’s perfectly normal to feel that way, parenting can be relentless and at times that can outweigh the good times. And it does get easier. My DD8 got easier at four when starting school, another big change at 7 and now at 8 still has the odd difficult moment but is mostly great company and fun to be with (apart from when we were home schooling!)

Nomoreboobs Mon 30-Nov-20 13:11:33

So it’s definitely a toddler thing? Is is much much harder than the other stages?
I feel at present like everything is being done to push my buttons and to try and test me, there’s no reprieve from it

OP’s posts: |
Ohalrightthen Mon 30-Nov-20 13:15:02

Is she at nursery?

Nomoreboobs Mon 30-Nov-20 13:16:37

@Ohalrightthen Not yet, possibly spring. I’m not working at the moment so we’re together pretty much 24/7 (live abroad) no parents to help or never had a babysitter, it’s hard

OP’s posts: |
TheSqueakyWheel Mon 30-Nov-20 13:17:53

Four. It will most likely stop when she is four. Toddlers are satan's little minions. Ages 2-3.5 are, in my opinion, the worst. Worse than having a newborn. Good thing that they are cute.

They stop being toddlers on their third birthday but yes it's a difficult age.

It isn't your fault OP and there's no need to feel guilty. It is a tough age for you and for your DD, but things should get better in time.

rottiemum88 Mon 30-Nov-20 13:18:47

Toddlers are satan's little minions

grin

Timeontimeoff Mon 30-Nov-20 13:22:09

I think it is different for everyone.

I personally find the teenage years much worse.

missmouse101 Mon 30-Nov-20 13:25:17

It is relentless. I've really, really struggled. Some people will find it so, others won't.

BogRollBOGOF Mon 30-Nov-20 13:26:05

If I ever see a cute baby and feel my ovaries twitch, I mutter the word "toddlers" until the feeling subsides. It doesn't take long grin

I had a tanteumer and a bolter and they overlapped and it was gruelling. I remember the relief of driving off to work to get the peace of a day of teaching teenagers wink

sapnupuas Mon 30-Nov-20 13:27:39

My son was an absolute dream until he turned three. Honestly, I was so smug that he was so easy and lovely. He never had tantrums. Then he turned into the devil overnight. I hated being a mum. I wished I'd not had him. I used to dread weekends as that's when my husband worked so I know I'd take the brunt of his behaviour.

He started school in September and things have improved. Yesterday was horrendous (he doesn't bloody listen!) but mostly we are back to him being lovely again.

I hope things improve for you. But remember; you're not the only one to have felt like this.

wishfull888 Mon 30-Nov-20 13:30:38

I'm still waiting (4 in March ) I've found from 2.5 to now the most trying.

Lindy2 Mon 30-Nov-20 13:32:54

2 year olds are generally hard work especially if you are together all of the time.

Once she goes to nursery/pre school (whatever the equivalent is where you are based) it may well get easier. She'll enjoy being with other children, you'll enjoy the break from her and your time together will probably be better.

It does get easier as they get a bit older. (and then as a PP said - they then become teenagers....shock)

CuntyMcBollocks Mon 30-Nov-20 13:34:00

It does get easier OP. My DD at that age was a nightmare sometimes, as much as I loved her. She had a full on tantrum once - throwing herself on the floor, screaming, kicking and crying - all because I said her trousers had fallen down slightly and I pointed it out.

Badwill Mon 30-Nov-20 13:36:53

Awful just awful! The first four years I'm referring to here. Some people love it (I say this but I struggle to believe it - like how?! Why?!)

They're cute as can be but to me it was mostly a boring, relentless slog. In my case I'd raise your 80% to 95%.

After coming out the other side somewhat (youngest only here but much easier than last year) I can appreciate that it depends on circumstances though - how hands on the other parent is, how much family support you have, whether you're working or a SAHM and the personality/sleep habits of the child.

I do think I could have enjoyed it more and been less irritated if my husband had seen his role in this as one of partnership. I resent him for being useless and ruining Those early years as I was so stressed trying to do all the parenting I couldn't relish any of it. I noticed on the days my mum came to help (she's amazing) I enjoyed it much, MUCH more. Motherhood can be very isolating these days and that's not conducive to joy and patience.

DecTheTreeTime Mon 30-Nov-20 13:38:33

Currently pregnant with DD2.. DD1 won't have turned 2 by the time this one arrives. Tantrums have already started over here. This post is filling me with dread 😂

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland Mon 30-Nov-20 13:38:50

I am not a huge fan of group care for babies BUT I think a lot of toddlers go quite feral from about 2.5 onwards and actually they need socialising in groups with their peers. It does help.

I also think expectation management is key. It can seem like they suddenly grow up into children - talking more, potty training, able to do more for themselves, but they are still young and need us to structure their lives a lot and provide a lot of support.

Orangeblossom7777 Mon 30-Nov-20 13:39:17

Having a break while they are at school or nursery can help as well. It is a stage.

Neolara Mon 30-Nov-20 13:39:44

"Toddlers are satan's little minions."

This.

It definitely gets a lot easier, especially around the time you can ditch the buggy and nappies. So 3 and a half?

EvelynBeatrice Mon 30-Nov-20 13:41:37

Sorry you’re having a tough time. I don’t think there has ever been a more realistic reflection of early motherhood than the advert in the supermarket with the toddler’s mother having a foot drumming tantrum in the aisle..,
On the plus side the Christmas period gives options for some nice stuff. I always found one good way of stress relief that toddlers loved too was to put on CD of ‘The little drummer boy’ at loud volume, collect all hard biscuit tins and wooden spoons - or child drum if could find it- and all March round house beating ‘drums’ at the right bit... maybe not ideal if you live in flat hmm

letsmakethetea Mon 30-Nov-20 13:45:00

'Relentless' perfectly describes looking after a toddler. Is a few days of nursery per week an option? I enjoyed mine much more when I got a regular break from them.

Tadpolesandfroglets Mon 30-Nov-20 13:45:25

Not as hard as stroppy teenagers that’s for sure but hard...

elscar Mon 30-Nov-20 13:46:20

OP I have a 2.5 year old DS- I feel you!!

He is the most cheeky wee boy, he's at that age where he will do something naughty whilst glaring right at you with a "do I give a F " look! Wee savages that's for sure 😂

My older DS is 6 and is a dream compared to the toddler. DS was just turning 4 when his brother arrived and he was defo out of the terrible toddlers by then.

But believe me you are not alone! Toddlers are a different breed..!

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