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AIBU?

To eat the same portion size as him?

175 replies

AlexiaSox · 28/11/2020 10:27

When I dish up for me and DP, I always give us the same amount of food. Same if we eat out, e.g we'll both order our own pizza and eat the whole thing (we both have pretty good appetites), and maybe share a salad.

The thing is, he is a tall guy, over 6ft, and I am much smaller...

Neither of us are overweight but I guess I am at the very top end of healthy weight.

So my question is, AIBU and should I generally eat a slightly smaller portion than him? I hate the idea of a 'dainty woman's portion' but is it just common sense?

What do you do?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

277 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
48%
You are NOT being unreasonable
52%
LunaNorth · 28/11/2020 10:28

Eat as much as you need to be full.

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dayslikethese1 · 28/11/2020 10:29

I mean if you're hungry and don't feel overstuffed then just eat the portion. I will order the same amount as DP but if I feel too full, I just take the rest home and eat it later.

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StrippedFridge · 28/11/2020 10:32

I eat less than DH because if I ate the same I would feel bloated and would get fat.

If you want to lose weight then yes reduce your portions. If you don't don't.

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Shopgirl1 · 28/11/2020 10:33

I eat similar enough to DH, slightly smaller sometimes, like I’d give him an extra potato or more rice, pasta etc. I’m tall though, 6 ft. He is one inch taller than me.

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Namerchanger42 · 28/11/2020 10:33

In a restaurant I would order the same portion, but at home I give him more as he has a very active job and I’m desk based, so I guess I’m subconsciously doing it based on calorie ‘needs’.
I wouldn’t reduce portion size unless I needed / wanted to lose weight though.

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BabylonIsBurning · 28/11/2020 10:41

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user17425642134531 · 28/11/2020 10:41

Well, you will have lower calorie needs than him so it makes sense for each of your portions to reflect what your bodies actually need. Nothing to do with being "dainty".

Same way as we would calculate feed portions for animals based on their individual weight and nutritional needs rather than providing identical feed to animals with different needs.

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Nottherealslimshady · 28/11/2020 10:44

Eat the amount you want to eat. If you're not overweight then you're not overeating. You must just burn more extra calories or have a faster metabolism than him.

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Meepmeeep · 28/11/2020 10:47

Our portion sizes are the same. Sometimes I eat more sometimes he does. I didn’t realise this was a thing - certainly won’t be changing it though.

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PurpleDaisies · 28/11/2020 10:48

I used to do this and then I got fat! Well, not fat but definitely podgy. If it works for you, crack on.

Now I give myself the same amount of stuff like chilli, curry, vegetables etc but less pasta/rice/mash.

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Macncheeseballs · 28/11/2020 10:49

I do similar portion size but he eats 2nds and left overs which I never do

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SoupDragon · 28/11/2020 10:50

Generally speaking, someone who is smaller requires less food than someone who is larger so yes, on that basis you should be eating less than him, generally speaking.

Unless you are doing a lot more exercise than him.

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Ilovesugar · 28/11/2020 10:52

Always dish up more to OH as he can eat more than me. If I ate the same as him I would be even more over weight

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jay55 · 28/11/2020 10:52

Depends on the whole day not one meal you might be eating a lot less than him through the day.
He might have three meals and two big snacks, where you have one big meal and a light lunch no breakfast.

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Xiaoxiong · 28/11/2020 10:55

I used to do 50/50 and hated "penis portions". After 10 years of marriage, 6'2" DH was still the same size round the waist as he was on our wedding day, and I, at 5'6" needed to lose about 2 stone. I did MFP and got a handle on my actual calorie needs and portion sizes, and now we do penis portions. It's just a function of our different caloric needs - it's not sexist to say that someone who is almost a foot taller and 3 stone heavier than me can eat more on a daily basis on about the same activity levels.

If your weight is stable, then eat what you like. If you're noticing your weight creeping up slowly, then you might decide that you want to have a smaller portion. Forget about how big or small that portion is relative to your DH - it's irrelevant.

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pinkbalconyrailing · 28/11/2020 10:55

I eat a lot less than dh (or my teenagers) but I'm of the age that my metabolism has slowed down considerably and if I eat more than 1800 cals a day I gain weight.
in my early 20s I was able to eat as much as him without gaining.

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WorraLiberty · 28/11/2020 10:56

It's a strange question to ask really.

To be clear, are you asking whether your should reduce your food intake because you're at the very top end of a healthy weight?

Only you can decide that.

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GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 28/11/2020 10:57

I eat the same as my DH. He is taller, only by a couple of inches tho, he swims (pre lockdown) and runs everyday, I do not.
I am overweight. He is not.
Calories in calories out.
Totally get why you are asking and I get annoyed by women being served smaller portions as it harks back to being ‘lesser’ I suppose. I loved a scene in ‘Miranda’ where she’s alone in a hotel room and orders two dinners.... I felt that deep in my soul Grin

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WorraLiberty · 28/11/2020 10:58

Xiaoxiong 'penis portions' are about the man being given more food purely because he is male.

It's not about eating what's best for their height and activity levels.

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Oysterbabe · 28/11/2020 10:59

I tend to dish out similar size portions for DH and I. I have a big appetite. He snacks a lot and I don't at all. Neither of us are overweight.

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DeeandraReynolds · 28/11/2020 11:00

I don't think size is the only factor when it comes to appetite. Maybe you're more active or just #blessed with a faster metabolism? Or maybe you have a tapeworm Wink, (but I hope not obviously)!

I eat similar portions to my DH, but I think he still eats more than I do, as he snacks in the evening whereas I don't tend to. I do snack in the afternoons though...basically, I have no idea if I eat less than him! I assume I do, but now that I think about it, maybe not. I'm tall for a woman, but he is taller.

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RishiMcRichface · 28/11/2020 11:01

Eat the amount you need to be healthy, if you have a big appetite full up on veggies, but if it's a special occasion or a nice meal then you both get the same portion. My dh is a big man and works a physical job he can eat way more than me, his dinner is huge but we get the same size pudding.

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JorisBonson · 28/11/2020 11:03

Just eat what you want!

I give DH bigger portions but only because he is a gannet and does so much exercise that he's always hungry. I physically can't eat as much as him (and am slovenly when it comes to exercise) so take a smaller portion. Nothing to do with the fact I have a vagina.

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tealandteal · 28/11/2020 11:07

My DH is a foot taller than me so will eat a larger portion of main. If we were out we might eat the same but he would still be a bit hungry. At home I serve homemade more usually but not at my own expense. So if there are only two portions (usually of dessert) we will have the same.

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Westfacing · 28/11/2020 11:07

If you're not overweight then you're not over-eating.

Presumably you're not eating three meals a day together, so maybe your calorie intake at other meals is the reason for you not being overweight.

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