Please tell me if I'm an awful person, because I certainly feel like one tonight.
I have been talking to a man who I met on OLD around 3 weeks ago. He is lovely, kind, funny and a really interesting person to talk to and we get on very well. We text a bit during the day but always have a chat on the phone in the evening. I was instantly attracted to him after seeing his photos online, he told me they were recent ones.
Anyway, we got chatting tonight and he mentioned that his hair had grown a lot recently and he decided to send me a pic. I feel absolutely horrible for saying this, but it looks awful (to me) and I don't find him attractive one bit I don't like long hair on men anyway. I'm not sure whether I should cancel our date tomorrow or still go ahead with it and see how I feel afterwards? Or would it be better to let him down before we actually meet?
I know I sound extremely shallow, but in my defence he did tell me that his pics (with short hair) were recent ones! It's a shame because I think he has a fab personality but surely attraction is important to?
Attraction is very important, I agree. Has his hair only grown because of lockdown or is he planning on keeping the style? I think this matters.
If you're not attracted to him, don't go, but if you know he's more attractive with short hair - and he will at some point be cutting it - it seems silly to waste an opportunity with someone you may well get on with.
I know I sound extremely shallow, but in my defence he did tell me that his pics (with short hair) were recent ones!
I wouldn’t have taken ‘recent’ so literally that I’d feel misled once I saw longer hair. To me, six months - a year ago is recent when it comes to online dating pics; it’s not like it was from 2008 and he’s lied about his age.
If you were ambivalent about him personally and now didn’t fancy him on top of that, I’d say don’t bother. But you seem to like everything else about him a lot.
I hate shaved heads. Massive turn off. Same as shaved or no hairy chest. I'd not go and stop all contact. Let him find someone who likes him long hair and all
DP has long hair. He’s gorgeous to me. But it’s fine if this guys long hair doesn’t do it for you. There needs to be an element of physical attraction at the start of the relationship and it would be perfectly acceptable if he turned you down on based on a physical appearance too. We don’t all have to find everyone attractive. If you think he might be perfect for you, maybe see how the spark is on the first date, no harm in trying but if you really don’t want to there’s nowt wrong with that too!
I’d go on the date and see how you feel after meeting him in person. He could be absolutely perfect for you and the hair mightn’t seem so important after all.
@BunnyMacDougal so does this mean that if op isn't a supermodel herself (and possibly even has chunky ankles) she has to settle for someone she isn't attracted to? If you don't fancy him based on recent photos then you are entitled not to go. If you got on well online you might enjoy the date in a more platonic friendship way? (Obviously make sure you meet in a safe place and tell a friend where you are going, etc, etc.)
I would go. I also am not attracted to long hair on men as a rule, but when you meet the person in reality you see the whole package and you might find that other attractive aspects of him make the hair thing a non-issue for you. Or not. But if you don´t meet him then you will never know.
*@BunnyMacDougal* so does this mean that if op isn't a supermodel herself (and possibly even has chunky ankles) she has to settle for someone she isn't attracted to? If you don't fancy him based on recent photos then you are entitled not to go. If you got on well online you might enjoy the date in a more platonic friendship way? (Obviously make sure you meet in a safe place and tell a friend where you are going, etc, etc.)
Nope.
She can decline to date whomever she wants based on whatever reason she wants.
But she’s shallow. And shallow people often attract shallow people, so she may need to brace herself.
I would go as you seemed to like his personality and, if you still like him on the date, just comment that from the photos you preferred the short haired look. Then he can decide himself what to do and so can you. Why is it all such a drama!
I don't like long hair on men anyway. I'm not sure whether I should cancel our date tomorrow or still go ahead with it and see how I feel afterwards? Or would it be better to let him down before we actually meet? 
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