Do schools not distinguish between homework done independently and that ‘done’ by parents?

[NellyJames]

Just tried to post this in education but it doesn’t seem to want to post:
DS has been upset as they have a HW ladder where they sit on certain rungs depending upon how the do in their homework. He’s middling and hasn’t really been moving. This is fine by me as it reflects where he is/should be I guess. However, he’s getting upset as he keeps asking me to help (answers not explaining concept) and says everyone else’s mum helps. I’ve been telling him this isn’t true but talking to some other mums they’ve confirmed they always help otherwise their child would get 4/5/6 questions wrong each week. I often see DS getting the wrong answer but I never correct him. The most I’ll do is encourage him to check them. Anyway, DS tells me these friends are up in the ‘clouds’ which is apparently the top rungs of the ladder. Now I feel bad but I still don’t want to help as surely his teacher needs to see which ones he doesn’t understand so she can target those with him? I emailed to ask earlier this week and she’s just emailed back confirming the ladder is used as motivation. Today one of his friends got the gold award for consistently ‘excellent standard of homework!’ hmm I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

[Welcometonowhere]

I don’t really understand why you wouldn’t help your child, tbh.

[Pukkatea]

'Helping' doesn't have to be 'telling them the right answer'. If you go through it, explain and help him understand and arrive at the right answer it will be incredibly valuable. My best subject was always maths because my dad would spend hours helping me with my homework. Think of it like extra tutoring, not just doing work for them.

[ArtemisBean]

It feels a bit like doing the teacher's work for her, I agree, but I would help in the sense of explaining the concept until I was sure he understood. That way he gets the answers right, not because you told him the answers but because you taught him how to think it through. Other parents spoonfeeding their kids won't help them in the long run.

[NellyJames]

@Welcometonowhere, if he doesn’t understand the concept or question then I’ll explain it to him. He’s not left on his own. But surely it’s important his teacher sees where he’s struggled rather than be unaware because I’ve effectively answered the question?

[Fifthtimelucky]

Help, of course. Do, absolutely not.

I can't believe it is helpful for the teacher to be misled into thinking that children understand what they are doing when they don't!

[Welcometonowhere]

I think in an ideal world that might be true but in this world with over thirty children to a class the teacher won’t be noticing the children who made mistakes. I’d be trying to help.

[IMNOTSHOUTING]

I thought the point of homework wasfor the child to work independently. It encourages the child to try harder when there isn't someone on hand to help, it also allows the teacher to see what they can actually do.

The homework ladder seems a ridiculous idea if it's not based on effort. Why do they need a giant display to record how everyone did in their homework. Especially as some will have been helped and others not.

[LolaSmiles]

Helping with homework is entirely reasonable. Helping can mean sitting down and giving guidance or saying 'check your units' / 'shall we look at your spellings'.

What lesson do you want him to take from you seeing wrong answers and ignoring it so he hands in incorrect work? He's not going to magically get better by having no help.

[InDubiousBattle]

I help my 6 year old. My ds is in year 2 so they don't have lots of homework but the bits they have is to practice something they're learning in school, I don't see it as a test for the teacher to see what they can do. Ds had some subtractions to do so I sat with him and when he got one wrong I went through it with him and he had another go.

[NellyJames]

I’m feeling so sorry for him now. I do help by explaining but I never lead him to the answer. But clearly other parents are.

[Rudolphian]

I check her answers
If there any wrong I'll explain why. Let her try again. Then see if she gets it right.
If wrong explain again etc.

[Pukkatea]

@NellyJames have you tried asking him about the ones you know are wrong, asking how he got to that answer? You can then see where he's gone wrong and help him with that. I think usually once someone has answered a question, it's then difficult to see it another way or see where you went wrong.

[NellyJames]

@LolaSmiles, but by leaving it for the teacher then she can see where he needs extra input, surely? How can she know what questions he struggled with if I’ve led him clearly to the answer?

[MillieEpple]

I tend to support my child with the concept and help them get it right but put a note to the teacher that he needed support with x. Particularly if i think he really didnt get it even with me explaining.

[Hopoindown31]

Why not help? The purpose of the homework is to help improve your child's learning. By helping and being involved you will do far more good than harm. The HW ladder is just some unimportant attempt to motive the kids (as you can see, very much a double-edged sword).

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Dd does her homework, I check the sheet. I point to the ones she has got wrong and give her a chance to spot her mistake and correct it (which she does in a way that the teacher can also see the original error).

If she doesn't know what she has done wrong I talk to her about what the question is asking and usually she then gets what she needs to do.

If she still has no idea, I don't teach her what to do - I want the teacher to acknowledge that she doesn't know that yet.

[reluctantbrit]

It depends for me why a child gets answers wrong. Often they may thought they have understood a concept but it didn't sit well enough to do it on their own. Or they were distracted when they did it in lesson (I have a daydreamer). Then I did help in a way that I went over the concept again and see what happened. in 9 out of 10 DD managed to get it. But, we always marked the questions DD needed help with so the teacher knew if there were problems. The teachers actually asked for this method so they knew with which child to follow up.

If you explain the concept and your DS still gets it wrong then he still doesn't get it and you need to let the teacher know that even with parental help there are issues. Just sending him in with wrong answers doesn't help in my opinion.

Saying that any kind of these motivation strategies for homework are rubbish in my opinion as they are too easy to manipulate.

[NellyJames]

So does nobody else let their child hand in homework with incorrect answers? I thought most people would. Clearly I’m way off the mark with this. And just to be clear again, I do get him to double check, occasionally saying to check no9 say. But I don’t tell him they’re wrong and spoon feed him the answer.

[SinkGirl]

A homework ladder? What a horrible idea. I hope there are no kids with SEN in his class (highly unlikely). Unless they’re basing it on how hard they’ve tried / how much progress they are making, this seems very ill advised. And I definitely don’t think parents should be answering questions for their kids, great way to make sure they don’t properly understand - they’ll struggle later.

[Welcometonowhere]

The problem is that children who don’t understand something properly aren’t taught it again and again and again until they do, IME. They just fall behind.

[NellyJames]

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz, that’s a great idea to encourage a correction underneath the original wrong answer so the teacher can see they’ve needed help. I may start to adopt that strategy.

[flaviaritt]

Long-term, you are teaching your son more, both in terms of his actual learning (not thinking he is right when he is wrong or having people do the job for him), and in terms of his resilience.

[HmmSureJan]

but by leaving it for the teacher then she can see where he needs extra input, surely? How can she know what questions he struggled with if I’ve led him clearly to the answer?

Well I don't see it as leading to the answer, more like adding a bit extra to the teaching they have already had in order for them to "get it". So dd does not always understand concepts and analysis done in a class room that can be noisy and too busy to have individual attention but will get it if we chat about it and look it up together at home.

[MillieEpple]

I do let my child hand in wrong answers if he doesnt understand with my support.
I agree the teacher needs to know if they arent understanding.

[HmmSureJan]

So does nobody else let their child hand in homework with incorrect answers?

No, never but i don't tell her the answers, I say maybe you should double check that and then guide in the right direction. Not maths though because I am useless at it, she's on her own with that sadly.