Lost my shit.... should I apologise completely or half apologise?

Of course you should apologise, it’s your job to set a good example and that means holding your hands up and saying “sorry guys I was stressed and overreacted and I shouldn’t have...”

Then sit down together and have a proper discussion

Actually I wouldn’t, I’d talk to them about why I lost my shit and how they need to do more, if they understand and apologise that’s when I would, but I wouldn’t jump in with an apology without getting something back.

I would apologise for swearing, but I wouldn't apologise for being angry/pushed to your limits.

I think it does children good to know that everyone has their limit, that they can't just push and push.

Everyone's probably learnt a lesson from it. Hopefully a sensible sit down to discuss what caused it will help solve the problem going forward.

How old are they ? I would say I'm sorry for my language however ... and then explain how you are feeling and why you reacted the way you did.

If you are going to apologise, don't say "sorry but". Not "Sorry I shouted/swore/whatever but it was because etc".

Just apologise, genuinely, if you're going to. Which I think you should.

I would sit them all down and apologise for swearing but explain that your frustration led to that and things need to change. Like PP said, it does them good to know you have your limit.

I would apologise for shouting and swearing and tell them you love them but hold firm on the underlying point -- ie that they weren't being respectful or considerate towards you.

Ime dc need to see dps aren't super human and can be stressed /angry /sad and all else!
Yes apologise for the outburst but not necessarily for why...
I actually lost it not long ago and told my teens they were behaving like absolute arse holes or worda to that effect... 5 dc at home more or less since March is testing..
Not being stressed atm isn't normal...

How old are they? I think it does kids good to realise that parents have limits to what they can tolerate occasionally. Fair enough it isn't right to swear but you are human and anyone who says they have never lost it is lying or a doormat.

Imo this a situation where modelling the behaviour is the way ahead.

If you want them to learn that we should apologise even when we don't want to or it makes us feel awkward, this is your chance to lead by example!

Apologise for swearing as it's not behaviour you actually want in your family so you need to act accordingly now if you want a leg to stand on later.

You don't have to apologise for the rest I feel but you do need to have a discussion to clearly address the issues that led you to lose your shit. Otherwise it was all pointless.

If it were me, I would say something like "I'm sorry for swearing yesterday however your behaviour is totally unacceptable and I find it hard to deal with sometimes. Going forward you need to do xyz and learn to get along with each other and walk away if something/someone is irritating you because we cannot go on like this". Just get them all sat down at once and explain to them why you lost it. I hope it gets better!

If the younger ones found it hilarious and they have apologised, I’d take the older one aside and talk to him about it.

But going against the others, I wouldn’t necessarily apologise for the swearing.

It’s not something hardly ever do but in real life they’ll come across it, I see so many posts on here of people being walked over, there seems to be an increase in lack of resilience in general, it’s a few swear words, not great but you reached your limit, don’t beat yourself up about it.

What did you say?

No no no! Not "sorry but". A "sorry but" is not a real apology.

Maybe discuss the issues as to why the situation got out of hand, but separately from the apology.

Apologising for swearing is fine but honestly @CanICelebrate I don’t think it does children, especially older teens, any harm to see that you’re human and have limits.

I don’t like these threads because I think they’re a bit unrealistic. You’ll be inundated with people telling you your behaviour must be 100% perfect 100% of the time. I just don’t think that’s real life.

Go easy on yourself. It’s rare that you do it. They’re well looked after and happy.

“Sorry I lost my shit that much but your behaviour isn’t acceptable” is the most I’d do.

Only politicians half apologise. You can apologise for the language you use and nothing else though.

I wouldnt apologise to them at all. I'd be fine with my dc shouting and swearing and shutting themselves in their rooms if dh and I behaved like that - everyone has limits.

I think apologising to the 8 year old was the right thing to do.

I'd only apologise for the swearing.
If you rarely lose it maybe they will realise that they pushed you too far.