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To feel self-conscious about wearing SIL's favourite perfume

(113 Posts)
Thickhead Thu 26-Nov-20 11:17:27

My SIL (ten years older than me) has always worn the same perfume. It's not a perfume you smell often but is extremely recognisable when you do, there's nothing else like it.

SIL wears it all the time, and also layers it with the same scented body cream etc. She always smells absolutely divine and it's been my favourite scent in the world since I was little. I think partly it's because of the happy memories associated with it - her and my DB (my idol) visiting when I was young.

Now I have tried lots of different perfumes trying to find 'my' signature scent but nothing remotely comes close to how much I love SIL's perfume. But it feels like 'hers', and every time I wear it I feel a bit guilty, like I'm stealing. I'd feel really embarrassed if she ever smelt me wearing it.

I'm being unreasonable aren't I? I think it's because scent is such a personal thing. I know she gives clothes with this perfume on to her kids to stop them being homesick etc...

OP’s posts: |
PamsterWheel Thu 26-Nov-20 11:21:07

It's not silly to feel this way, you sound like you adore her and don't want to offend.

Personally I would feel flattered if someone wore the same perfume as me as a direct result of me rather than by chance.

I think you shouldn't worry about it, wear it.

CounsellorTroi Thu 26-Nov-20 11:23:00

It won’t smell exactly the same on you anyway.

titsaleena Thu 26-Nov-20 11:25:12

No one owns the rights to a perfume!

We’re going to need to know what this wonderful perfume is please smile

LimpidPools Thu 26-Nov-20 11:27:18

It won't smell exactly the same on you and obviously she isn't the only person in the world that wears it.

But, like you, I'd feel embarrassed if she 'caught' me wearing it. Although if she wears it all the time, the chances of her smelling it on you are slim smile

Notonthestairs Thu 26-Nov-20 11:27:55

I've been wearing the same perfume for 30 years. I've been stopped in the street by people telling me I smell nice grin

I'd be v flattered if someone bought a bottle off the back of me smelling nice.

And I only starting wearing it as my serial dating housemate had 3 bottles of it given to her (by different suitors) one Christmas and donated a bottle to me!

Stinkyjellycat Thu 26-Nov-20 11:28:28

Please tell us what it is, I want to know what smells to amazing!

And please continue to wear it. She’ll probably see it as a compliment.

marriednotdead Thu 26-Nov-20 11:28:56

Is it that one that smells like chocolate? Angel?

GreyishDays Thu 26-Nov-20 11:29:41

Dying to know what it is. smile

You could not wear it when she visits, or just tell her?

iswhois Thu 26-Nov-20 11:31:14

We need to know what it is OP!!!

MistyGreenAndBlue Thu 26-Nov-20 11:32:56

Another one keen to know what it is.
And agree, she likely won't notice it on you. And wouldn't mind if she did.

HollowTalk Thu 26-Nov-20 11:34:20

I wouldn't wear it if I was with her, but I'd wear it all the time that I wasn't near her.

OoohTheStatsDontLie Thu 26-Nov-20 11:34:33

Just wear it except for when you see her?

JacobReesMogadishu Thu 26-Nov-20 11:34:54

Nobody owns a perfume so I'd wear it. She probably wouldn't notice if you wore it, she'd just think she was smelling herself surely?

2toe Thu 26-Nov-20 11:37:05

I want to know what it is too, for some reason Samsara is in my head, so distinctive and rarely smelled!
Just wear it and enjoy it but put something else on when you are seeing SIL.

NoPainNoTartine Thu 26-Nov-20 11:38:21

No one owns a perfume (or a name or anything)
but it's a pretty shitty thing to do.

Many women collect perfumes and change them as often as they change socks, it's absolutely fine. So of course you can wear one of these!

When someone as close has a signature scent, and is as close as your SIL, you are being ridiculous and petty. There are hundreds of perfumes, or eau de parfum if you don't want to spend a fortune, it's not hard to find your own.

You can even have your own one created as a gift!

What you could do is look at the perfumer and see if another one from their collection would work on you.

YAB massively U to wear hers.

readingismycardio Thu 26-Nov-20 11:38:43

Oh, please tell us what it is! So curious

irregularegular Thu 26-Nov-20 11:40:12

I'd ask her whether she minds. I'm sure she'll say no if she is a nice person! Then you can go ahead without feeling guilty.

Thickhead Thu 26-Nov-20 11:40:16

Thanks all. It's Clinique Aromatics Elixir, a big 70s powerhouse of a perfume. If you spray it on your skin it's way too much - you have to spray it into the air and walk through the mist!

Thank you - I think I'll carry on wearing it but not around her or DB / their children. It really makes me happy wearing it.

OP’s posts: |
Thickhead Thu 26-Nov-20 11:46:09

NoPainNoTartine

No one owns a perfume (or a name or anything)
but it's a pretty shitty thing to do.

Many women collect perfumes and change them as often as they change socks, it's absolutely fine. So of course you can wear one of these!

When someone as close has a signature scent, and is as close as your SIL, you are being ridiculous and petty. There are hundreds of perfumes, or eau de parfum if you don't want to spend a fortune, it's not hard to find your own.

You can even have your own one created as a gift!

What you could do is look at the perfumer and see if another one from their collection would work on you.

YAB massively U to wear hers.

Thanks for the advice. I truly have tried many many different perfumes over the years and have done my research trying to find a dupe! Unfortunately, although I like a few other fragrances, I only 'love' this one.

I only see SIL and her family once a year or so - they don't live nearby - so realistically they're not going to encounter me wearing it.

OP’s posts: |
Mia184 Thu 26-Nov-20 11:46:53

Oh, I LOVE Aromatics Elixir! I only wear it during the winter months though; I find it too heavy during the rest of the year.

Mamette Thu 26-Nov-20 11:49:40

I wouldn’t, tbh.

ilovesushi Thu 26-Nov-20 12:05:28

I used to always wear Chanel Allure. I never smelt it on anyone else, until I made friends with a mum on the school gate who also wore it. It would always make me double take as I totally associated the smell with me.

fullofhope100 Thu 26-Nov-20 12:05:35

Thickhead

Thanks all. It's Clinique Aromatics Elixir, a big 70s powerhouse of a perfume. If you spray it on your skin it's way too much - you have to spray it into the air and walk through the mist!

Thank you - I think I'll carry on wearing it but not around her or DB / their children. It really makes me happy wearing it.

I knew it! {worked for Clinique in the 80's and early 90's). It is fab - though I can't wear it anymore as I smelt it all day every day grin
A classic though.
Agree with others who say wear it except for when you're with SIL and find another fragrance you love.
Have you tried any of the Frederic Malle fragrances? They're amazing and unusual too.

ThatDamnScientist Thu 26-Nov-20 12:07:07

Those getting their knickers in a twist over wearing someone else's scent really need to give their head a bloody wobble! 😂

If you like the scent, it smells good on you (scents often smell different on different people), and it evokes happy or warm fuzzy feelings then go for it!

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