Getting married (covid allowing) soon - very small ceremony. We have to apply for our marriage schedule and, on it, my DF is ie Tom Smith and I am Tina Jones formerly known as Jones. We are both divorced. I did not change my name first time around so have only ever been Jones my whole life.
This has really irrationally annoyed me! The assumption is because I was married before and am female, I changed my name but that assumption isn't applied to him. I rang the registrar and pointed this out. She said "It's because you're divorced." I said "we are both divorced. Why is he Tom Smith and I am Tina Jones formerly known as Jones when I have only EVER been Jones." She said "Well that's just the way the system works." I said "It's inappropriate to assume that I changed my name and it's incorrect to imply that I have." And she was completely perplexed by what the issue was.
When I told her that I wanted an email address so I could register my pleasure (I suspect she thinks me a Karen), she went off and checked with the senior registrar and then said that she COULD change it, despite having said it was the way the system worked. So now we are Tom Smith and Tina Jones. Which is correct!
Let's be honest, it's the tiniest blow ever struck against the patriachy but was I right to challenge what I saw as everyday sexism?
YABU - what a thing to expend energy on
YANBU - smash the patriachy one tiny blow at a time!
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
Is this everyday sexism or am I being ludicrous?!
292 replies
harriethoyle · 25/11/2020 13:40
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
1175 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
26%
You are NOT being unreasonable
74%
WhatATimeToBeAlive ·
25/11/2020 14:25
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