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Page 8 | Should I have let my 9 year old stay up to watch the bake off final?

(195 Posts)
Cheeryminimum Tue 24-Nov-20 21:57:19

Yes - YABU
No - YANBU

She’s 9, she’s quite grumpy without sleep, we have to get up at 6.45 for school. Usual bedtime is 8pm (lights out) - bake off finished at 9.30. We usually watch it a day later on catch up.
I’m just going to bed and I can see that one of her friends has stayed up to watch it and now I feel like a meanie!

OP’s posts: |
Merryweather80 Thu 26-Nov-20 21:51:21

My 9-year-old is in bed and asleep by 7.30/8. She's shattered and away with the fairies if not. We are up 6 / 6.30 am and she's quite sporty.

On a school night I wouldn't have let her stay up, at the weekend yes. She watches strictly and is off to bed afterwards. She's awful to get out if bed if tired. A brass band in her bedroom wouldn't have her up.

LaceyBetty Thu 26-Nov-20 22:50:53

Cheeryminimum

Wow. That unleashed a whole host of crazy which in my naivety I wasn’t really expecting. My lovely little one didn’t mind watching it the next day and woke up and said she was glad she’d had a good night sleep and was looking forward to watching it tonight. So all was well. Despite mostly everyone thinking I’m a terrible mother who has sapped all the joy from my child’s life - I should have had the confidence that I actually know her quite well!
And some people have to start work at 7.30 in jobs which are half an hour away... maybe let’s not be quite so judgey about having to get up at 6.45!
Hey Ho... clearly not the place for “not being quite so judgey.”

I should have more confidence in knowing my little lady and what is right for me and my little fam. And thanks for those of you who said as much.

Seems like all children (and mums) are different.... who knew?!

xx


What were you looking for with your post? You had some agree and some not.

Mamanyt Thu 26-Nov-20 23:43:26

You know your daughter best. I had one who could stay up late with no harm done, and one who would just go to pieces without proper sleep. Thankfully, they were just far enough apart in age that I could legitimately say, "When you're his age, you can stay up as well!" Took quite awhile for him to catch on that he would NEVER be his brother's age, and by then, it wasn't an issue.

Do what is right for your daughter. She's not going to be damaged by this in the least.

alibongo5 Thu 26-Nov-20 23:50:40

Oreservoir

I still remember staying up to watch
The Man From Uncle every week.
@MyOtherProfile I definitely look back fondly on my 9 year old self loving David McCallum.

I loved Ilya Kuryakin and was very happy to meet David McCallum years later. "God made the oysters, the oyster made the pearls, Ilya does the dirty work Napoleon get the girls". (though actually in truth I think I remember my older brothers and sisters talking about it rather than actually seeing it!)

Inwiththenew Fri 27-Nov-20 14:03:44

I don’t know what this obsession is with the English and children’s bedtimes. It’s an example of brainwashing at its finest. I don’t mean to be rude but it’s not like this in other countries. I understand the benefits of routines and early bed but that someone feels a need to ask this question of others.....I just find that quite hard to compute. We all go through life being a bit tired sometimes, last night there was a storm here that woke me up and I’m a bit tired today. If my husband is working away and he comes home at midnight we sometimes stay up to greet him even on a school night! It’s not a big deal. None of us are machines.

ZoeTurtle Fri 27-Nov-20 14:24:16

My lovely little one didn’t mind watching it the next day and woke up and said she was glad she’d had a good night sleep and was looking forward to watching it tonight.

Of course she did...

prettygirlincrimsonrose Fri 27-Nov-20 14:51:19

Cheeryminimum

Wow. That unleashed a whole host of crazy which in my naivety I wasn’t really expecting. My lovely little one didn’t mind watching it the next day and woke up and said she was glad she’d had a good night sleep and was looking forward to watching it tonight. So all was well. Despite mostly everyone thinking I’m a terrible mother who has sapped all the joy from my child’s life - I should have had the confidence that I actually know her quite well!
And some people have to start work at 7.30 in jobs which are half an hour away... maybe let’s not be quite so judgey about having to get up at 6.45!
Hey Ho... clearly not the place for “not being quite so judgey.”

I should have more confidence in knowing my little lady and what is right for me and my little fam. And thanks for those of you who said as much.

Seems like all children (and mums) are different.... who knew?!

xx

What crazy? Seriously, these responses are really not judgey. No one's said you're a terrible mother. Some people have lightheartedly called you a meanie. Some people have agreed with you. Lots of people have said what they'd have done, and for plenty of people that's letting a 9 year old stay up - that's no way the same as judging you.

If you're happy with you decided that's great, but no need to accuse people of being judgey or exaggerating what people have said as if you've been picked on.

Cheeryminimum Fri 27-Nov-20 15:11:56

Oh goodness me. I made an error in turning to the internet in my hour of lacking in confidence in what I was doing! Then I realised that actually everyone’s different and that’s ok and I did the right thing after all.
All is well in my world.
Hopefully all is well in everyone else’s.
No offence taken and none intended, my apologies if it seemed like it was.

I shall endeavour to have more self confidence in future and steer clear of asking huge numbers of strangers to critique my choices - as for some reason it was less helpful than I expected!

Love to all.

X

OP’s posts: |
cologne4711 Fri 27-Nov-20 15:48:40

Inwiththenew

I don’t know what this obsession is with the English and children’s bedtimes. It’s an example of brainwashing at its finest. I don’t mean to be rude but it’s not like this in other countries. I understand the benefits of routines and early bed but that someone feels a need to ask this question of others.....I just find that quite hard to compute. We all go through life being a bit tired sometimes, last night there was a storm here that woke me up and I’m a bit tired today. If my husband is working away and he comes home at midnight we sometimes stay up to greet him even on a school night! It’s not a big deal. None of us are machines.

Are the teachers in your home country more understanding of tetchy children than British teachers are?

Are the employers in your home country more understanding of tired employees than they are in the UK?

Parents try to regulate their kids' bedtimes because it simply isn't worth the stress the following day, or the complaints from childminders and teachers about bad behaviour (which isn't bad really, just grumpy because they are tired).

Divebar Fri 27-Nov-20 16:27:19

Also stop bloody generalising about “ the English” - you don’t know “ the English “ you know a small proportion of them and as this thread shows many people are not that strict about bed times.

Inwiththenew Fri 27-Nov-20 20:26:08

I am English! I just haven’t lived there for the last 20 years....it is weird though how after 8pm seeing a school age child in public in the U.K. is as common as a flying elephant.

user1487194234 Fri 27-Nov-20 20:29:19

I definitely would have let her stay up
She would have remembered the special treat for a long time

MyOtherProfile Sat 28-Nov-20 06:07:23

I don’t know what this obsession is with the English and children’s bedtimes. It’s an example of brainwashing at its finest. I don’t mean to be rude but it’s not like this in other countries.

This made me actually laugh! Like all the English are on one side putting their kids to bed early and all other countries are homogenously letting their kids party.

I've lived in four different countries and there's no homogeneity in non English countries like that. People are people wherever you go.

Fudgemonkeys Sat 28-Nov-20 13:21:23

It's just one night. Let her, her year's been so mixed up, whsts the worst that could happen

Wearywithteens Sun 29-Nov-20 19:43:37

“My lovely little one didn’t mind watching it the next day and woke up and said she was glad she’d had a good night sleep and was looking forward to watching it tonight.

Of course she did...”

My thoughts exactly ZoeTurtle...

IHaveBrilloHair Sun 29-Nov-20 21:06:05

I sniggered at that too, what a load of shit.

MarthasGinYard Sun 29-Nov-20 21:08:19

'Morning mummy ....I'm so glad I have had a good nights sleepconfused

Cheeryminimum Sun 29-Nov-20 22:05:19

To be honest, she surprised me too, but I guess she’d had a busy week and as we always watch it a day late, she didn’t see it as important as some of you lot. I’m not sure there’s any need to be rude about it though. That’s just what happened in the morning which eased my mum guilt, despite so many people telling me I should have let her stay up!

OP’s posts: |
Krampusnacht Sun 29-Nov-20 22:58:02

MarthasGinYard

'Morning mummy ....I'm so glad I have had a good nights sleepconfused


.. said no child ever.

MarthasGinYard Mon 30-Nov-20 02:23:47

Quite grin

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