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AIBU?

SIL has covid and wants us to come for xmas

277 replies

Friendsoftheearth · 24/11/2020 20:12

SIL, BIL and all three dc are just recovering from covid, they will be allowed out again in a few days - despite some of them being relatively high risk they were all ill but fine, so very relieved and happy about that.

However this evening SIL has invited us to her house for christmas - in laws have already passed away - and we are the only family she has. The can't come to us as one of their dc will need to work, and will be joining us later.

SIL said it is great news as she now can't catch covid, so we can relax. DH does not see it that way, and does not want to go, he is worried her house will be covered in covid, and sees the grown up dc as still a risk as no doubt they will go out and party for England. They are late teens and do love to party, which is why they were probably ill in the first place.

Is it is true we are now relatively 'safe' as it will be a month by the time we get to christmas? Are they are a fairly safe bet, or are they still a risk? I know you can get covid twice, but the antibodies are likely to last longer than a month surely? Dh is digging up info that confirms covid stays on surfaces for up to 76 days, and we are putting ourselves and children at risk by even considering seeing them.

I am close to SIL and would like to see them, but not if we are all going to be ill afterwards. DD asthmatic, but otherwise 49-55 age bracket with teen dc. Thank you!

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theotherfossilsister · 24/11/2020 20:15

I mean, surely she'll have cleaned the place afterwards, right and disinfected everything? I would go if I trusted her to do this. Then again, someone who knows more might be along to tell me I am wrong and it can linger on surfaces even after.

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dementedpixie · 24/11/2020 20:16

I'd just say no this year tbh whether they had had it or not. Drop presents off but no need to stay for a visit. I'm going nowhere this Christmas

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year5teacher · 24/11/2020 20:16

Your husband is worried the house will be “covered in covid” a month later?

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dementedpixie · 24/11/2020 20:16

And covid won't still be on surfaces but I still wouldn't want to go

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Friendsoftheearth · 24/11/2020 20:16

Yes I am pretty sure she will have cleaned everything, I am not sure I could cross examine her though Blush and he is worried about door handles and everything really! Anyone would think it is infested with the plague. He is very worried about it, and usually laid back.

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Waxonwaxoff0 · 24/11/2020 20:17

Your DH is being dramatic. If it lived on surfaces for that long then we'd all be catching it from our shopping.

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dementedpixie · 24/11/2020 20:17

If he's worried and wouldn't relax then why go if you don't have to?

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katy1213 · 24/11/2020 20:18

They're probably the safest people you could visit - but if you don't want to, don't go.

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Nottherealslimshady · 24/11/2020 20:18

I'd be more concerned about the "we've had it so now we can relax" attitude than any lingering surface viruses. I wouldn't be in close contact with anyone with that attitude.

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Friendsoftheearth · 24/11/2020 20:18

Why wouldn't you go even if they didn't have covid? I can't really pop in, they are two hours away using M25 so really three plus hours in reality.

3 x teens going out most nights, all have different jobs in lots of places. London based.

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PrimalLass · 24/11/2020 20:18

There is pretty much no risk of covid from surfaces. I thought that was fairly settled science by now?

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WhoseThatGirl · 24/11/2020 20:18

He sounds unhinged. Christmas is weeks away of course the house won’t be covered in COVID.

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Fluffybutter · 24/11/2020 20:18

I’d feel safer going now I knew they’d all had it . Your dh is being melodramatic

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StrippedFridge · 24/11/2020 20:19

Don't be silly. Anything that was on any surfaces will be long dead by the time you get there. Her house is the safest place you could be from covid!

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UnmentionedElephantDildo · 24/11/2020 20:19

The virus lives on surfaces for up to 72 hours (not 76 days!)

Is your DH just looking for excuses not to go?

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Friendsoftheearth · 24/11/2020 20:19

Katy Yes that is my view, they are literally the safest people we know! I would love to go. We are having a disagreement about the safety of the house, and it is freezing so not sure we can stand in the garden.

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compulsiveliar2019 · 24/11/2020 20:19

Your DH is being ridiculous. Covid will not be surviving on surfaces for that long. And they will surely clean?
Is there any chance your DH is using this as an excuse and there is actually another reason he doesn't want to spend Christmas with them?

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TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 24/11/2020 20:19

‘ Your DH is being dramatic.’

Perhaps he’s just anxious. I wouldn’t be keen either.

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HighHeelBoots · 24/11/2020 20:19

She wouldn't even need to clean, it will have died anyway. Tell your DH to read up about the virus
It's probably the safest time to visit

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Waxonwaxoff0 · 24/11/2020 20:19

My mum had Covid and I didn't catch it from her door handles. She also tested positive for antibodies 2 months later.

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dementedpixie · 24/11/2020 20:20

Because just because you're allowed to mix at Christmas doesn't mean you have to. My mum is on the shielding list so I will go and drop presents off but I'm not going into the house.

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LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 24/11/2020 20:20

He sounds paranoid. He could catch it anywhere really, and so long as he washes his hands and doesn't touch his face he should be fine. There is always a chance, but I think it more likely he catches it in Sainsbury's.

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Waxonwaxoff0 · 24/11/2020 20:21

TheEmoji then he needs to see a GP as that level of anxiety is not normal. We shouldn't be normalising it.

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BowiesJumper · 24/11/2020 20:21

I thought it “died” on hard surfaces after about 3 days? A month would be definitely be safe in that regard. have they all got it?

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Friendsoftheearth · 24/11/2020 20:21

prima I agree, I thought the issue of virus living on surfaces was now understood to be zero, but today in the paper it says that people now are catching covid from tills in the supermarket, cash points and cash - so I am confused, which one is right?

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