Advanced search

To ask at what point you went exclusive with your partner?

(140 Posts)
breadbin123 Sat 21-Nov-20 13:53:46

Just that really smile

OP’s posts: |
Macncheeseballs Sat 21-Nov-20 13:54:31

From the first date

isseywith4vampirecats Sat 21-Nov-20 13:55:44

3rd date i asked him if we only see each other or date others and he said i only do exclusive, we were in our 50s at that point and as my ex husband cheated on me that was good enough for me and nearly 7 years later we are still together a

jamaisjedors Sat 21-Nov-20 13:56:06

Ermmm current one - he deleted his online dating profile after our 2nd date, I probably did about a week later.

We had the conversation the first or 2nd time we slept together and both got tested for stds too.

Strangedayindeed Sat 21-Nov-20 13:57:31

From 3rd date.

WorraLiberty Sat 21-Nov-20 13:57:52

From the first date

Cocolapew Sat 21-Nov-20 13:59:34

Second date.

Merryoldgoat Sat 21-Nov-20 14:00:07

Date 1 although we had been friends for 8 months prior.

smileyplant Sat 21-Nov-20 14:01:03

First date

DramaAlpaca Sat 21-Nov-20 14:01:34

First date

thepeopleversuswork Sat 21-Nov-20 14:02:12

Was declared as exclusive about six weeks in although I think in practice we were exclusive from the first date.

lachy Sat 21-Nov-20 14:02:59

Immediately. We were friends who got together, but I knew after our first kiss that it was something different. Been together 9 years next week 😍

AdventureCode Sat 21-Nov-20 14:07:12

For those saying from the first date, how did that work?
Did you know each other long before hand?

BiblioX Sat 21-Nov-20 14:11:56

First date. I’ve never dated more than one person at once. I think UK dating is different to US.

breadbin123 Sat 21-Nov-20 14:13:29

Same question as @AdventureCode - how did you know you wanted to exclusively date from date 1?

OP’s posts: |
Nottherealslimshady Sat 21-Nov-20 14:17:10

From the first date but we discussed how our relationship would move forward as I was moving away a week later for uni. So it was very much, are we in this 100% or are we a casual fling. We both agreed to give it 100% and commit and to the best of my knowledge that's what we both did.

Dahlietta Sat 21-Nov-20 14:18:31

First date for me too, but then I don't think I have ever really been on a 'date' in this sense. I agree with pp that to me, this 'going exclusive' is an American dating concept. I can't imagine dating more than one person at a time.

UglyHoose Sat 21-Nov-20 14:18:57

From the first date, although I hadn't ever met / dated / messaged anyone else after splitting from XH so there wasn't anyone to exclude grin

Nottherealslimshady Sat 21-Nov-20 14:20:05

Oh and we didn't know eachother before hand. Met at a club on the first saturday, date on the tuesday, I moved away on the second saturday. He drove the hour to my uni twice a week and I moved in with him during term breaks then moved in for the 3rd year and drove myself to uni and back every day.

Cocolapew Sat 21-Nov-20 14:22:15

I'm the same as pp I've never dated more than one person at a time so it was really from the first date in my mind. Now DH asked on the second date.

Ohalrightthen Sat 21-Nov-20 14:22:45

I was in an open relationship when i met DH. I realised very quickly that he was the love of my life, and while he tried to be open minded, he doesn't have a non-monogamous bone in his body. I broke up with my main partner and stopped sleeping with my other partners after 3 months, when me and DH decided to stop dicking about and actually make it work.

yelyah22 Sat 21-Nov-20 14:22:49

Third date. We exchanged clean STD results (so we could have sex obviously) and said we were going to exclusively see each other because we were interested in seeing where it was going.

But we'd had a chat on the first date about our general intentions (he said 'not casual but not necessarily planning to get married' - which is funny as we are now getting married!) and whether or not we were currently talking to or planning on dating anyone else and we both weren't. If we'd been dating other people at that point I imagine it might have taken longer but as it was we were both only seeing each other so we were all in quite quickly.

I've had relationships where we were just casually dating for a few months until we decided to be exclusive, so it just depends on where you're at.

ChickensMightFly Sat 21-Nov-20 14:24:59

Neither of us are several irons in the fire types so we never really had the conversation. Once we got intimate (3rd time in each others company but first actual date) that was it.

Merryoldgoat Sat 21-Nov-20 14:26:10


Same question as @AdventureCode - how did you know you wanted to exclusively date from date 1?

We were friends for 8 months first. I’d liked him for ages and we went out for drinks, I thought as friends.

During the evening he told me he liked me and wanted us to ‘go out’ properly so it was fairly straightforward.

We’ve been together over 15 years and married 9.

TeenyTinyDustinHoffman Sat 21-Nov-20 14:31:33

Out of interest, OP and others, when you say you weren't exclusive, was that an openly agreed thing? As in, "I quite like you but I'm not sure yet so I'm going to keep seeing other people for a while."
Or, is it just expected (in the USA, if that's where you are?) that you date a few people at once?
Sorry if it's nosy, but I'm curious!

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in