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Stop asking if I’m Mrs or Miss

(876 Posts)
catspyjamas123 Tue 17-Nov-20 15:20:39

I just hate it when companies ask if I’m Mrs or Miss - what business is it whether I’m married or not? I’ve politely put up with it for years but it makes me fume. They don’t ask men if they are married. Even worse, some companies assume I am a Mrs. I am NOT. I am very happily divorced and definitely a Ms. Are they being unreasonable? Vote yes if it’s a completely unnecessary intrusion into your home life. Vote no if it’s quite alright to all live in a 1950s nightmare!

OP’s posts: |
madcatladyforever Tue 17-Nov-20 15:22:30

It does royally piss me off too, there should just be one "Ms" for everyone. At 60 Miss makes me feel like an old spinster even though I'm perfectly happy divorced.

Fantasmic143 Tue 17-Nov-20 15:23:56

I don't want to have no option to only be Ms. I am not Ms. I am Mrs and have been happily for 26 years. I don't want to be asked, though. No-one's business.

Thethingswedoforlove Tue 17-Nov-20 15:27:08

I agree with you. But it isn’t clear whether to vote yanbu or yabu!

Newkitchen123 Tue 17-Nov-20 15:27:40

I'm a very happy Mrs.
I don't see it as an intrusion at all

BoggledBudgie Tue 17-Nov-20 15:28:13

You’re being unreasonable - as in, yes they should be using your proper title. Men don’t get asked because they only have one title.

Macncheeseballs Tue 17-Nov-20 15:32:00

I wouldn't vote for either option, both are extreme, doesn't really bother me either way

LittleMissLockdown Tue 17-Nov-20 15:33:27

BoggledBudgie

You’re being unreasonable - as in, yes they should be using your proper title. Men don’t get asked because they only have one title.

Exactly what I was going to say^

If there was more than one masculine title then men would also be asked which title they wanted companies to use. The companies are only asking so they have an accurate record. Surely it would be more annoying if they unilaterally decided to just put everyone down as Ms.

ShirleyPhallus Tue 17-Nov-20 15:34:46

How about Mx?

ThatIsNotMyUsername Tue 17-Nov-20 15:34:56

I don’t mind what other people prefer (as long as it’s sensible). I’ve been a Ms since I have needed to state a preference. Not helped by the fact I use my maiden name.

LizziesTwin Tue 17-Nov-20 15:35:05

I’ve just received a letter addressed Mr (clearly female name) surname. I might just refer to myself as Mr going forward, it’s none of anyone’s business.

StoneofDestiny Tue 17-Nov-20 15:35:57

Yes it's a PITA being asked, and for most things totally irrelevant. Just say neither - it's Lady, Professor etc etc

ThatIsNotMyUsername Tue 17-Nov-20 15:36:06

Good idea - but I’d me Mr T NotMyUsername which would be my dad. Or my son (as he sometimes gets my maiden name used - people assume).

LyingDogsLie1 Tue 17-Nov-20 15:37:37

I totally agree. I don’t think it’s right that a woman reveals so much about herself by her title.
When you consider that Mrs derived from Mr’s (as in his possession) it makes it even worse.
Miss then Ms I think - like Master to Mr.

SpaceOp Tue 17-Nov-20 15:37:46

Yes, it irritates me a lot. I just respond with, "Ms" because I understand that the list is there and the options are there so the person filling out the form has to put something. But it does annoy me.

catspyjamas123 Tue 17-Nov-20 15:38:35

I’ve botched the voting option.

Men don’t only have one possible title. They could be Sir or Dr or Professor or Rear Admiral. Strangely nobody asks me ever if I am any of those as a female - which I could be except for Sir. The whole business of women being addressed according to marital status is hideously outdated. I thought the same when married - I always kept my maiden name.

OP’s posts: |
Racinglikeapronow Tue 17-Nov-20 15:39:08

I use Ms even though I’m married. It should be Ms for women and Mr for men. Much easier

Searchesforhipbones Tue 17-Nov-20 15:40:38

Haven’t Germany and France made moves to have just one title for adult women? As well as making it the legal default to keep your birth name? (Or is the latter just france and spain)

LittleMissLockdown Tue 17-Nov-20 15:41:28

Men don’t only have one possible title. They could be Sir or Dr or Professor or Rear Admiral. Strangely nobody asks me ever if I am any of those as a female

But they are not asking men either? The default for men is MR and unless someone asked specifically to be Sir, Dr or Rear Admiral etc then they would automatically be put down as Mr.

melisande99 Tue 17-Nov-20 15:42:37

They are asking you how you prefer to be addressed.

It is called customer relations.

catspyjamas123 Tue 17-Nov-20 15:42:39

I believe in France everyone female is Madame, in Germany all women are Frau and in Spain all women are Senora. Much more sensible. I am not Mrs Catspyjamas though - that is my mother.

OP’s posts: |
Di11y Tue 17-Nov-20 15:42:56

I used to register people's details and ask if they were miss, Mrs or ms. Or Dr for certain companies

Fouroclockonamarblemorning Tue 17-Nov-20 15:43:31

I don’t mind being asked. I’m happy to say I’m a Mrs. Each to their own but I can’t get uptight about something like that.

catspyjamas123 Tue 17-Nov-20 15:43:36

It’s not customer relations when you begin a business conversation by asking if someone is the chattel of a man or not. It’s insulting.

OP’s posts: |
PrincessNutNut Tue 17-Nov-20 15:44:53

I'm married, have used Ms since I was 18. Hate being defined by my marital status.

I wonder if it's worth buying six inches of land in Scotland so I can get the title of Lady or however those buy-a-title things work.

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