Advanced search

Gave my number to a guy at the gym, subsequent weird text exchange

(159 Posts)
RainbowPuzzle Fri 30-Oct-20 19:34:32

Last week a man approached me in the gym to introduce himself and chat, he seemed pleasant so when he asked to take me out some time we exchanged numbers. I'm not really looking for anything but wouldn't have minded dating.

He text me the following day and after a few minutes of benign chat and him saying he wishes he could be here with me hmm this followed..

"Let me tell you something, I want to be honest to you"

I replied go ahead..

Him: "I'm looking for a serious relationship. Are you ready for a relationship? If we like each other?"

I replied saying I couldn't possibly answer that as we hadn't so much as had one date confused

He then replied saying "Yeah that's why we should meet up soon. I was just saying that to let you know"

He then asks if I want more kids (I had told him I have 2)

I reply in humour and say maybe in a decade or so but definitely not anytime soon. That kills the conversation stone dead as he replies "ok" and then nothing since.

Now my AIBU is:

AIBU to conclude that he was just angling for a quick shag, and that he came out with the speal about looking for a serious relationship because that's what he thinks women want to hear.

The asking me if I want any more children was, to me, him trying to ascertain whether there's any chance of him having unprotected sex with me any time soon.

Given that I wasn't receptive I'm hoping he doesn't bother approaching me again if I see him there tomorrow.

Am I too cynical or do you agree with my suspicion?

OP’s posts: |
Sexnotgender Fri 30-Oct-20 19:37:16

He seems very full on for a guy you’ve literally just met. I’d dodge him and probably block.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Fri 30-Oct-20 19:38:51

Definitely seems a bit weird. I'd be assuming that he's perhaps not very bright.

JollyGiraffe12 Fri 30-Oct-20 19:38:53

He sounds creepy af

RainbowPuzzle Fri 30-Oct-20 19:39:27

My thoughts exactly. Way too full on.

We spoke for ten minutes in person and then he's asking if I'm ready for a serious relationship, red flags galore.

OP’s posts: |
RainbowPuzzle Fri 30-Oct-20 19:40:12

English isn't his first language so there is that, but I think his choice words speak for themselves.

OP’s posts: |
ButterflyBitch Fri 30-Oct-20 19:41:18

It’s either what you said or he genuinely wants to marry you tomorrow and get you pregnant. In which case you’ve still dodged a bullet.

bitheby Fri 30-Oct-20 19:42:15

See I would read that completely the opposite way to you. I'd read it that he's looking to settle down and have a family and if that's not what you're looking for then he's not about to waste his time.

Bunnyfuller Fri 30-Oct-20 19:42:30

Weird yes, after a shag, couldn’t see it.

SummerHouse Fri 30-Oct-20 19:44:08

Oh deary me. Is he hot though?

RainbowPuzzle Fri 30-Oct-20 19:44:52


See I would read that completely the opposite way to you. I'd read it that he's looking to settle down and have a family and if that's not what you're looking for then he's not about to waste his time.

I just can't fathom how he could conclude that I'm settling down material, after chatting to me for 10 minutes.

Serious relationships develop organically, usually after alot of dating.

OP’s posts: |
Rainbowqueeen Fri 30-Oct-20 19:45:12

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mamamia456 Fri 30-Oct-20 19:45:50

Agree with bitheby.

Eckhart Fri 30-Oct-20 19:45:52

Why do you care what was going on in his head? He's clearly not the one for you, so why's he occupying your thoughts?

thecatsthecats Fri 30-Oct-20 19:46:16

I think you're right that he's too full on, but I think your conclusion about him angling for unprotected sex is pretty out there.

Are you this over analytical with every date opportunity? I think it's quicker and simpler just to write things off if you're uncomfortable, you don't need bonus reasons to dislike him. One's fine.

TheMarzipanDildo Fri 30-Oct-20 19:46:24

That’s rather intense!

RainbowPuzzle Fri 30-Oct-20 19:46:38

Very hot yes, body wise.
Average looks.
Seemed nice enough initially.

I'm well and truly put off now though grin

OP’s posts: |
Bunnybigears Fri 30-Oct-20 19:46:53

Either playing games to try and have unprotected sex with you or genuinely wants to settle down and start a family and doesn't want to waste time on someone who doesn't want the same.

RainbowPuzzle Fri 30-Oct-20 19:48:00


Now you’ve said English is not his first language I’d assume he’s an immigrant looking for a way to stay here

That made me laugh grin

He's a local business owner, if what he told me was correct. I know of the place he claims to own.

OP’s posts: |
DianaT1969 Fri 30-Oct-20 19:48:51

I think you are right about saying what he thinks women want to hear. No normal guy talks like this before a date.
You mention English isn't his first language. Could he be looking for a wife to get a visa? [Farfetched and straight out of Take a Break].

ParrotheadRedux Fri 30-Oct-20 19:49:11

How many times does a woman come on here saying she’s been dating a great guy for 6 months and then he tells her he’s not looking for a serious relationship? This is simply a ham-handed way of trying to avoid that. He said “if we like each other,” meaning that if you hit it off you should know he is looking for something serious. He’s trying to not waste anyone’s time. It’s definitely off-putting but I think it’s terribly cynical to jump to the conclusion that he’s trying to game you for unprotected sex.

RainbowPuzzle Fri 30-Oct-20 19:49:52


Why do you care what was going on in his head? He's clearly not the one for you, so why's he occupying your thoughts?

Because I'm probably going to bump into him again, often, so the perspectives here will influence how I handle any future interaction.

alarming behaviour = avoid at all costs


Harmless though = exchange pleasantries in passing and be polite.

OP’s posts: |
NoCureForLove Fri 30-Oct-20 19:49:55

Blimey Rainbow. That's quite the leap you made there.

Mamamia456 Fri 30-Oct-20 19:51:12

He wasn't saying that you were settling down material straight away, he said if you like each other, possibly after dating and getting to know each other, but obviously if you're not looking for that then I can see that he doesn't want to waste his time or your time.

Bitbusyattheminute Fri 30-Oct-20 19:54:11

Given the 2nd language, I'm thinking the serious rship thing is him trying to tell you he's not just after a ons. Possibly. I'd give the benefit of the doubt so far, but just be wary.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in