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To think dh is hugely overreacting?

(77 Posts)
Lauradoralaura Thu 29-Oct-20 19:04:31

Dh has just collected a takeaway for us from a well known place. He got in, I started plating it up and half the order was missing. Too much to just make it work by sharing it out.

Extremely annoying, it cost us £40. Obvious thing is to ring them and get them to redo the order.

Dh starts shouting and swearing saying he knew this would happen, he's never going there again, they're fucking useless. Shouting at our 5 year old who was trying to show him something.

I did say (calmly and politely) he probably should have checked in the bag before leaving as one bag didn't seem enough knowing what we had ordered (it's usually a full bag just for two but this time dc are having takeout too), so he then starts shouting at me how that's not fucking possible when it's dark in the car, if I'm so good I can go myself next time. I did offer to go with him but he said to wait with the dc.

We've rang and they are going to redo the order, very annoying but it's only 5 minutes away. Not the end of the world.

He's gone out ranting and raving how he's never ever getting a fucking takeaway again, how he can't do this again it's too much for him and he can't cope with it.

Aibu to feel a bit shit now about the whole thing and think he's being ridiculous?

OP’s posts: |
Palavah Thu 29-Oct-20 19:05:38

He is overreacting hugely. Is he normally like this?

How is he generally?

Bagelsandbrie Thu 29-Oct-20 19:06:14

Well he sounds fun.

What a complete arse!! Sounds like a 12 year old.

waitforitwaitforit Thu 29-Oct-20 19:06:24


Sunnydaysstillhere Thu 29-Oct-20 19:06:47

Sounds like the straw that broke the camel's back...

SimonJT Thu 29-Oct-20 19:07:03

Hes hangry!

Twigletfairy Thu 29-Oct-20 19:07:43

Is this a normal reaction from him? It seems way OTT

If its not normal for him, could he be under a lot of stress at the moment?

Either way, its not acceptable to treat you or your child like that

doctorhamster Thu 29-Oct-20 19:07:50

Well he sounds like a massive twat to be honest.

greenspacesoverthere Thu 29-Oct-20 19:08:06

Perhaps he realised he should have checked the order and is annoyed with himself and taking it out on everyone else?

whatsbinhappnin Thu 29-Oct-20 19:08:18

There must be something else going on there

Is he struggling with something atm? How is his mood generally? He sounds overwhelmed by something.

bloodyhairy Thu 29-Oct-20 19:08:28

He has overreacted, but we all do it from time to time!

Ickabog Thu 29-Oct-20 19:08:42

If this is an unusual reaction, then is it possible the stress from something else has been building and this is the final straw? Is everything ok with him, work, family etc?

suziedoozy Thu 29-Oct-20 19:09:28

Is this normal behaviour for him?

Has he had a particularly stressful day?

Sounds like an insane overreaction until it was the straw that broke the camels back!

ViciousJackdaw Thu 29-Oct-20 19:13:22

My guess is that this isn't about the takeaway at all.

FilthyforFirth Thu 29-Oct-20 19:13:59

I ranted and cried when half our nandos order was missing at the weekend and refused to eat what had been sent... blush

I am 36 weeks pregnant though and my mental health isnt brilliant at the moment. Could it be something else is going on?! Capacity is always at a minimum when you are struggling internally

Lauradoralaura Thu 29-Oct-20 19:14:04

Lord knows, we've both had a few days off work and a nice lie in so should be pretty chilled out.

He's not normally an aggressive person at all but he does overreact to none events and I'm beginning to see a pattern with anything revolving going into a shop. He shouted at me on holiday earlier this year because he forgot toilet paper for our holiday flat. He'd only nipped in the shops for a few essentials.

I hope he comes in in a better mood.

I couldn't help posting because I say there like did that really just happen.

OP’s posts: |
SummerHouse Thu 29-Oct-20 19:16:07

He has massively overreacted. Not sure I would want to eat a takeaway with him now. Our family are known for this. Any minor issue regarding food gets amplified if certain people are hungry. Add in that he probably feels like he should have realised the bag was light and you have the classic storm in a teacup hangry reaction. It's not nice and it's not pretty but we do give certain family members a little bit of leeway. It's chemistry. Not an excuse but something about low blood sugar and mood. Hope he apologizes.

JoeCalFuckingZaghe Thu 29-Oct-20 19:16:43

If you’ve been off work for a few days could he be anxious about returning? If he’s normally not like this I’d say something was weighing on him and as others said straw they broke the camels back!

MaskingForIt Thu 29-Oct-20 19:17:32


Perhaps he realised he should have checked the order and is annoyed with himself and taking it out on everyone else?

Ding ding ding! We have a winner.

He’s cross with himself and can’t handle it, so he’s taking it out on the rest of you.


CoronaIsWatching Thu 29-Oct-20 19:17:34

My dad was like this, completely overreacting to a minor inconvenience. I grew up to have massive anxiety problems.

You mention it's happened a lot before

It's not a way to live OP for you OR your DC

AnxMummy10 Thu 29-Oct-20 19:17:50

This very exact same thing happened to us but even worse was this takeaway place didnt even pick up the call. We just got on with it and made sandwiches. Your dh was ridiculous and I would be so upset at him swearing in front of your dd.

AryaStarkWolf Thu 29-Oct-20 19:18:24

OK it is a bit much but I hate when that happens too especially when I'm really hungry on top of it all

tobedtoMNandfart Thu 29-Oct-20 19:18:38

Completely unacceptable. He needs to apologise then address his issues. This is frightening for children to witness.

Regularsizedrudy Thu 29-Oct-20 19:18:41

I could not be with someone like this. Pathetic baby.

FangsForTheMemory Thu 29-Oct-20 19:19:37

I hope he’s not going to be nasty to the staff.

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