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AIBU?

to not understand why parents allow their children to go trick or treating?

362 replies

teaandtoast49 · 29/10/2020 08:49

Even disregarding the current coronavirus situation, I have always found myself disagreeing with the concept of allowing children to go trick or treating, as well as Halloween in general. My dp is slightly more relaxed about this, so am I just being ridiculous? I was never allowed to go trick or treating as a child, go to sleepovers, etc. and while I understand now that my parents probably were in the right, I would love to gauge the opinions on MN about it.

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Am I being unreasonable?

1359 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
73%
You are NOT being unreasonable
27%
TeddyIsaHe · 29/10/2020 08:50

Because kids are allowed to have fun, even if there’s people in the world that find fault with everything?

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CloudyVanilla · 29/10/2020 08:52

I was going to say YWNBU to be worried due to Covid but a) most know not to knock unless houses are decorated and b) you are totally being unreasonable about it if your disdain isn't limited to Covid.

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SocialBees · 29/10/2020 08:53

Ignoring trick or treating for a moment (especially in a covid world), why weren't you allowed to go in sleepovers? And why do you think your parents were right not to let you? My DC love sleepovers!

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IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 29/10/2020 08:53

We didn’t trick or treat but had Halloween parties instead, the children preferred that when younger.

Sleepovers were rare but it’s not really the done thing round here. Play dates more popular and we tended to host as always worried about digs, ponds, smokers etc so less stress just to have an open house here instead.

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thereplycamefromanchorage · 29/10/2020 08:54

Why do you disagree with the concept? It's fun, round here kids only go to houses with a pumpkin outside, so no-one is bothered if they don't want to be.

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thereplycamefromanchorage · 29/10/2020 08:55

Once current circumstances notwithstanding - no trick or treating this year

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maverickallthetime · 29/10/2020 08:57

But in our area children only knock at houses that have pumpkins or decorations outside. They are expecting people to knock.

Totally get you don't knock on random houses but if it's done sensibly then I can't see it being an issue.

I don't think even in tier1 anyone should be doing it this year though

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Lizadork · 29/10/2020 08:58

I don't understand the continuation of bonfire night in light of climate change and how easy it is to get hurt accidentally.

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millymollymoomoo · 29/10/2020 09:01

Why not ?
I’m not a great fan of Halloween but allowing kids to dress up and go round a few fro sky neighbours truck or treating is fun fir them !

Why no sleepovers either

Complete killjoy

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NailsNeedDoing · 29/10/2020 09:01

Why do you think your parents were right to stop you doing normal, fun childhood things?

Trick or treating is just a neighbourhood community bit of fun for a couple of hours once a year, as long as it’s done considerately it’s not a problem. Sleepovers can be really good for children in helping them to build up their independence and confidence away from home

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lyralalala · 29/10/2020 09:02

So because you weren’t allowed, don’t like Halloween no-one should? Random

Guising was my second favourite night of the year as a kid. I’m delighted mine have all loved it so far and I love that so many houses (in normal times) locally now have a pumpkin out. It’s just a great fun event for the kids

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Lollypop701 · 29/10/2020 09:02

You visit decorated houses, and your kids open the door at their own decorated house. Dress up is always fun for kids. Sleepovers and midnight feasts. Wonderful memories. Why would you not do these things?

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MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 29/10/2020 09:04

Agree with you re sleepovers. The only people I trust with my kids overnight are my own parents. We won't allow sleepovers at friends houses until our kids are teens. There's other ways of encouraging independence.

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Pinkyandthebrainz · 29/10/2020 09:04

Your childhood sounds a bit crap to me, no offence.

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LST · 29/10/2020 09:04

I don't agree with trick or treating unless people only go to houses that are decorated which people just don't do. I hate it and I am pretty glad there won't be any this year. I don't mind Halloween parties etc. I just hate trick or treating.

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CandyLeBonBon · 29/10/2020 09:06

Your childhood sounds pretty joyless tbh

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Whoooootaminute · 29/10/2020 09:08

Well depending on your age and that of your parents I can understand the trick or treating. It wasn't a thing where I lived as a child so didn't really get into it.

However I don't mind it if children come to my house - I always buy some sweets in and eat the leftovers

Sleepovers weren't a thing either. Kids played out in the streets and gardens during the day then went home. Times were different. But DS had lots of sleepovers it's a break for the parents and a good way to foster independence. Fun for the kids.

But you do you.

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EnglishGirlApproximately · 29/10/2020 09:08

I never went trick or treating but I'm happy to take DS. He dresses up as a cute ghost or whatever, we walk around the village looking at the decorations and chatting to others who are out and only knock on doors of decorated houses. I honestly don't see a problem with it.
This year we'll be trick or treating DF and DMIL and a couple if friends as pre arranged with sweets in bags then having a walk to look at the houses.

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Heyahun · 29/10/2020 09:09

Your poor child 😂

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 29/10/2020 09:11

When I was a child I remember it differently, you bothered every house and people used to egg and silly string doors. Now people only bother decorated houses or those with a pumpkin so I think it’s fine.

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Mokusspokus · 29/10/2020 09:11

I always find these ops so interesting. Shows how powerful our upbringing is, in a sort of brainwashed way.

It's like the... We never had a stocking or fc growing up.. So we don't do it with our dc, they don't miss out.

We didn't do sleep overs. Mine don't they don't miss out.

We had a hug once a year at Xmas, my dc have the same they don't miss out.

I was never allowed to do x 6 and z so my dc don't, they don't miss out...


Personally myself and dh looked at a few things we did and didn't like in our own childhoods and rather than sleep walk into doing stuff.. Just because we did or didn't have it... We consciously chose and do what we want too.

Ie dh never had fc or stockings...

We discussed the excitement, how much did he get, compared to my experience of Xmas... How much build up.. Magic etc.. Did he ever listen out for bells or watch the sky and really believe he could see the sleigh on its way and quickly try and sleep so fc could come..

We chose my way.

His dp were very much of the absolutely no magic.. Presents must come from Mil, its her job to buy 2 gifts... She wouldn't want fc robbing that from her.

Now neither dh nor I did trick or treating!
I had no idea what it6 was about and was nt really sure what to do about it and our road didn't do anything... until one year a new neighbour said to go with her and her dc...

Wow! Roads just near us I'd never seen because we had never been out where all dressed up in amazing decorations... Adults dressed up, smoke machines, giant spider webs etc!

It was a different world and so much fun... People even dressed as witches doing spells... It was fabulous... Our dc loved it..

It's a great way to mark the change in seasons...

So we do it.

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formerbabe · 29/10/2020 09:11

We're not going this year but we've been the past few years. I always go with them. We only knock on doors if the house is decorated. It's great fun, we usually bump into their friends going round the same streets and knock on the doors of people we know. It actually has a nice community feel to it. We will miss it this year. I never went when I was a kid

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AliceMcK · 29/10/2020 09:12

@SocialBees

Ignoring trick or treating for a moment (especially in a covid world), why weren't you allowed to go in sleepovers? And why do you think your parents were right not to let you? My DC love sleepovers!

I was never allowed to have sleepovers either. It was to protect myself and my siblings from abuse. Have you any idea how many children are abused while staying at other peoples homes? Abuse usually happens by someone trusted by the family. Obviously not every child is, but why take the risk.

I don’t allow my children to have sleepovers either.
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middleager · 29/10/2020 09:14

YABVU

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BreatheAndFocus · 29/10/2020 09:15

My DC have never gone trick or treating (and neither did I). I think it’s become Americanised and has turned Hallowe’en into a kind of comic pantomime-y type thing.

I also think it’s annoying for people who don’t want to take part. Why can’t people have a Jack O’Lantern out without people knocking on their doors?? Why are children told to stay away from strangers - except for this one night when it’s absolutely fine to take sweets from random people?

I like Hallowe’en itself but Trick or Treating is shoved in the ‘no way’ box along with the ridiculous ‘gender reveals’.

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