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AIBU?

Ginger & worried about the future.

280 replies

Noimusntforget · 28/10/2020 15:54

Our gorgeous toddler Dd has red/ginger hair, she’s very pale, with blue eyes and barely there eyebrows and eyelashes.
We’re both dark haired, with tanned skin and blue eyes, our girl doesn’t really look like us yet. Where we are (not in the uk) ginger hair is seen as very unusual and special, but we plan to move back to the uk in the next few years. I have a red headed friend who was bullied for years. When I look at my sweet, innocent girl, I feel fearful for the way she might be treated in a few years.
Anyone else have a red headed child? Is her colouring likely to change at this stage (2.4 months old)
Her hair and colouring is stunning and special to us, but people can be arseholes in life and I feel sad if she’ll have to encounter that.

OP posts:
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Cornishmumofone · 28/10/2020 15:57

My nephew (whose mum has ginger hair) definitely looked strawberry blonde until he was about 4. He's now 11 and has mousy blonde hair.

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CaptainMyCaptain · 28/10/2020 15:58

I'm a natural re-head and in 65 years have never been bullied. I have heard it is more of a thing now but wouldn't worry too much.

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CaptainMyCaptain · 28/10/2020 15:58

red-head*

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Audreyseyebrows · 28/10/2020 16:01

I had red hair as a child which later went more brown. I’ve just dyed it copper.

I was never bullied because of my hair colour (was for other things!).

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lljkk · 28/10/2020 16:01

It sucks & I feel outraged that British are like this (about red heads).

You can do a lot to instill resilience into your DD so that she doesn't let the bastards get her down.

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Bluntness100 · 28/10/2020 16:01

I think it is less of a thing now. I’d also say if a kid is going to get bullied they are going to get bullied, ginger hair or not. Kids find a reason. It’s not the reason making it happen.

I’d not worry at all about this. There is genuinely no reason to believe she will be bullied any more than another kid.

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THATbasicWITCH · 28/10/2020 16:02

I am a redhead as are two of my dc. I was sometimes teased about it at school. My dd (7) has not experienced this. I think times have changed

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Dinocan · 28/10/2020 16:03

She will need to develop a fairly thick skin. I’m sorry. Anti ‘gingerness’ is still a think in the U.K. but I feel is becoming less so with red hair being seen as more desirable. I was never really bullied at school, so it’s certainly not a given, however I’ve still endured plenty of stupid and offensive comments (mainly from strangers it has to be said) and the usual ‘oh if the dc come out ginger you can just dye their hair’ that one was from my MIL! It’s a very strange thing.

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Maireas · 28/10/2020 16:04

I'm a teacher in a secondary school. We have hundreds of red haired children, all shades including stunning Titian and glowing copper. We do not have bullying reports from them about hair colour. We have quite a robust system and I'm confident at least some would report it. Try not to worry.

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OptimisticSix · 28/10/2020 16:04

I do not have any redheads but my children have friends who are and I don't think they have ever been bullied for their haircolour. I think it's less of a thing now - my dad was teased mercilessly way back when for being ginger.

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EhUp · 28/10/2020 16:04

Definitely less of a thing now

My nephew has similar colouring as your DD and is now at secondary school, I am not aware of any problems with bullying and he is a very confident and bright boy

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Oblomov20 · 28/10/2020 16:05

Ds2 has never been bullied. He's ginger and proud.

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Gemma2019 · 28/10/2020 16:06

In my DD's secondary school having red hair is something to be admired and envied. Times have changed.

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TheyreComingToGetYouBarbara · 28/10/2020 16:07

I'd try not to worry about it. It may never happen, but if it does, you'll be there for her and do whatever you can for her. In the meantime, you'll be teaching her to be proud of herself and to know her self-worth.

Bullying can happen for all sorts of reasons, whatever a person's hair colour. Bullies can always find something to focus on, unfortunately, but at least bullying is considered a serious problem these days. Not so long ago, it was considered just part of growing up.

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GinNotGym19 · 28/10/2020 16:08

My daughter has never been bullied or had any bad comments about being red headed! She loves her hair. It’s different now to years ago, it’s not a thing anymore

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MootingMirror · 28/10/2020 16:09

Both my parents have dark brunette hair (so do all my siblings). I had bright, fiery red hair when I born that lasted for a few months. Then it went very, very blonde and stayed that way until around the time I started school. From there, it slowly got darker and I ended up with brown hair with natural blonde highlights.
My son's hair was red when he was born and it slowly turned to blonde too.

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floofycroissant · 28/10/2020 16:11

I went to school with a cousin who had gorgeous hair, she was horribly bullied. I honestly think the only reason they kept it up was that she reacted so strongly to it - angry, shouty and aggressive and they fed off that. I think her reaction was partly due to her own low self confidence.

Teaching your DD how to be comfortable and confident in her own skin is the best thing you can do.

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chillibeansauce · 28/10/2020 16:11

My daughter is ginger / strawberry blonde and has featured in a few ad campaigns ! Cameras love ginger hair !

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MootingMirror · 28/10/2020 16:11

Also, just seen all the comments about how red hair isn't bullied in schools anymore. DH and I are both teachers and students are definitely still treated the same regarding ginger hair - boys get it worse than girls but there are definitely comments. It's more of a case that kids will use it to bully kids that they'd find a reason to pick on anyway but it's definitely still a thing - also, a lot of the time it's jokey comments rather than actual bullying.

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whiteonesugar · 28/10/2020 16:14

My two DSs have red hair, my older DS is VERY bright copper and the baby is more strawberry blonde. DS1 is very proud of his hair and says he's special and its true.

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TheGriffle · 28/10/2020 16:15

My 7yo blue eyed, freckly, ginger girl has had nothing but compliments on her hair and has never been bullied for it.

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ForthPlace · 28/10/2020 16:15

One of my DC's has the most gorgeous red hair. He's very proud to be ginger and his siblings are wishful that they were born with red hair too.

I can remember him thinking his hair was loosing it's red and asking me to buy some shampoo to maintain his ginger.

Bring her up to be proud!

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MuckleMadMoose · 28/10/2020 16:16

Going to school in the 90s I was made fun of for having red hair. Some awful comments were made.

However DS1 has bright ginger hair and has never had any negative comments regarding his hair. Times have definitely changed.

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midnightgrace · 28/10/2020 16:16

Another redhead here. Never been bullied, only ever complimented.

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passthemustard · 28/10/2020 16:17

I have 2 ginger children. We get stopped in the street endlessly for people to tell me how wonderful their hair is. My DD is 19 and she has no shortage of admirers. My DS is 15 and he isn't as cute as he was as a toddler to be honest but hasn't been bullied for his hair colour at all.

They both have brown eyes and my other 2 DC have blonde hair and blue eyes. My DH had dark hair and dark eyes and I have hazel eyes and mousy hair! Genetics is weird.

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