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AIBU?

To be intrigued by my neighbours (nosy neighbour alert!)

181 replies

Conkergame · 27/10/2020 20:06

I’ve lived in my house for 7 years, on a narrow street of terraced houses, so it’s quite easy to see what people in the houses opposite you are up to, especially if they have their lights on and curtains open during the evening.

When I moved in, a family of two parents and two late primary school children lived opposite. I don’t know for a fact that the man is the kid’s father but they look like him enough for it to be a fair assumption. We only know each other to say hello to, or say “how are you?” “Fine thanks” - we’ve never gone further than that so I’ve never asked them any questions about themselves.

After about 6 months of living here, the man one day just disappeared. As in, I realised I hadn’t seen him for a few days and that his car was gone...and then he just never reappeared. I assumed the parents had split up and he’d moved out, although I did think it was odd I hadn’t seen any arguing or shouting or him storming out or anything, given I can see into their living room and bedroom most evenings (and I’d seen the mum yell at the kids a couple of times so I know she does yell if she wants to!). It also seemed odd that he never returned to visit or pick up the kids but I thought maybe the mum always drove them to him, or maybe he wasn’t their dad after all, or maybe he was a dick who’d abandoned them.

About 18 months later, he suddenly reappeared again, with as little drama as when he’d left! No dramatic hellos or welcome home party or anything, he just came back as though he hadn’t been away. I then started to think maybe he’d had to go away for a specific work project or something, although that seemed unlikely as he’s a local electrician (his car is a van with the company logo).

Anyway, another couple of years later...and he disappears again! Exactly the same as before, no rowing or tearful goodbyes, just one day he’s not there anymore. And then a while later...he’s back! I then started to think maybe he has a double life and has another family somewhere else that doesn’t know about this family and that’s why he can’t visit when he’s staying with them?! He finally left again around this time last year, so he’s been away for the whole of COVID and a few months before that too.

DH thinks I’m mad and need to mind my own business, and clearly I do, but it’s lockdown and I’m bored and he’s just returned again!!

AIBU to want to know where he goes for so long and why he comes back?!

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

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Lazyi · 27/10/2020 20:08

Prison?

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BobbinThreadbare123 · 27/10/2020 20:10

I also think prison!

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00Sassy · 27/10/2020 20:12

Ahh, above poster beat me to it!
I was going to suggest prison too.

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1Morewineplease · 27/10/2020 20:12

That's what I was thinking.

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Smallsteps88 · 27/10/2020 20:14

Maybe he works away? I know some tradesmen who take contracts in England or further afield like UAE.

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Autumnblooms · 27/10/2020 20:14

Prison sounds visible, but is it really long enough for prison and then why would he leave to go there, instead of being arrested and taken...or does goi to prison not work that way?

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emmetgirl · 27/10/2020 20:15

Working abroad??

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LakieLady · 27/10/2020 20:16

Prison was my first thought, too, @Lazyi!

But he wouldn't take his car if he was going to prison, would he? I mean. they're not like aiports, with big long stay car parks.

Could he be in the military and sent on long postings overseas?

My late father often had work assignments abroad, sometimes a long way away and for a long time, eg 2 years in Canada, and a long spell in Venezuela, but he always came back a couple of times a year to see us all.

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cherry2727 · 27/10/2020 20:20

My dh also said prison but I beg to differ. Would he take his car if it's prison ? I too think work project abroad or lives abroad. I know a man who lives 6 months here and 6 months abroad. He runs a business in both countries and has a family here too!

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PlanBea · 27/10/2020 20:28

My thought was military or working abroad - if he works in somewhere like Australia he probably can't get home now post covid.

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Conkergame · 27/10/2020 20:33

If it’s prison then he’s clearly not learning from his mistakes as he’s had at least 3 separate prison spells in 7 years! Shock

I don’t think he can be in the military - we’re nowhere near any army barracks and I’ve never seen him wear any army uniform, plus he’s quite skinny!

Do local electricians do stints abroad?

OP posts:
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StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 27/10/2020 20:37

He's a spy.

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00Sassy · 27/10/2020 20:38

Oh I missed the bit about the car!

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MoistMolly · 27/10/2020 20:38

Could be military, work on cruise ships, oil rigs etc

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DartmoorWilderness · 27/10/2020 20:39

Maybe the electrician job is a front for being a spy?

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AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings · 27/10/2020 20:42

Is it a car or a work van?

My friend doesn't drive so when her partner went to prison (twice) his car and work van were either lent to mates or parked in their garages

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shouldhavethoughtthisthrough · 27/10/2020 20:44

I feel like you need to google the company and then do some social media investigations 😂

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Dubbadubbadumdum · 27/10/2020 20:53

Could be working on an oil rig? Or has a contract servicing a remote wind turbine in Norway? Perhaps he suffers with mental health issues that need inpatient treatment? Maybe hes a specialist shearer and traveled from farm to farm shearing llama's and sheep?

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BibbityBobbityBellend · 27/10/2020 21:02

Ooh this is interesting!

I think prison or he goes "back home" for a stint or works away. Does he look like a scallywag?

I can't think of anything else.

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CSIblonde · 27/10/2020 21:25

I had an ex who did year long IT contracts in the US & China. Triple the salary he'd get here so in his opinion,worth it. Or, maybe they have an on again off again thing? My Dad's best mate was Sean Connery's ( in his prime) double & used to disappear with other women for months on end. His wife took him back every time. It was the talk of the village for years.

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TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 27/10/2020 21:47

Have you thought about getting a telly? I know there's the license fee but you can change channels and watch different things other than 'EastEnders in real-time'. Grin

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Thisisnotnormal69 · 27/10/2020 21:57

I don’t know but I want to!!

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PumpkinPie2016 · 27/10/2020 22:09

Maybe he works for MI6? Not as bizarre as it may sound!

My husband's dad was a probation officer and worked with a man who sometimes went away for long periods because he did something for MI6 and they required his services. Apparently, they never knew when he would go - it would be sudden, they never knew how long he would be gone for or what it was he did. No idea how it worked with him having a regular job but this would have been in the 70s.

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fuckfuckingcovid19 · 27/10/2020 22:13

I know an electrician who worked on a military base in Afghanistan. He'd be away for long periods of time.

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fuckfuckingcovid19 · 27/10/2020 22:14

He wasn't in the military btw. Just contracted by them

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