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To have used the downstairs loo?

(764 Posts)
WheresYourSecretSadness Mon 26-Oct-20 09:50:51

At a holiday cottage with a friend and each of our 2 kids. The cottage has 3 bedrooms - 1 downstairs 2 upstairs - and all bedrooms are en suite. There’s no other bathrooms or toilets.

I’m in an upstairs bedroom with 4yo DS, my friend is downstairs with her 3yoDS and our girls (7 and 8) are sharing the other upstairs bedroom.

When we’ve been downstairs and me or my kids have needed the toilet we’ve gone to the downstairs one, which is attached to my friend’s room. There’s a door entrance from the hall. This morning they both needed the loo so I took them to the downstairs toilet, but the door from the hallway was locked, it had been locked from inside the toilet. My friend and her kids were in the kitchen so we went through her bedroom to go to the loo.

She was a bit huffy when I came out and I asked what was wrong. She said she’s not happy about us going through her bedroom as its an invasion of her privacy. Fair enough, but my kids were desperate for the loo. She then said that she’d like us to use our own bathrooms for the toilet! Meaning I have to traipse upstairs every time me or the kids need the loo! Not ideal especially when they’re desperate. I (reluctantly) agreed but I think she’s being a bit precious and don’t think it’s a big deal at all sharing a bathroom? If it was me in the downstairs bedroom I honestly wouldn’t mind.

AIBU for using the downstairs loo or is she being precious about “her” bathroom?

OP’s posts: |
IHeartKingThistle Mon 26-Oct-20 09:51:35

Hmmm I think I'd rather you used your own one too, sorry.

WheresYourSecretSadness Mon 26-Oct-20 09:51:37

Oh and the reason the door was locked from the inside was basically a hint to me to not use the bathroom!

I’ve NC’d for this BTW to avoid being outed

OP’s posts: |
Mackie2020 Mon 26-Oct-20 09:53:13

I think you should have used your own loo too.

Nonotthisagain Mon 26-Oct-20 09:53:23

I think your friend is right. You each have your own en suite bathroom so you should use your own. Definitely not on to go through their bedroom to use theirs either!!

PegasusReturns Mon 26-Oct-20 09:53:44

You are so unreasonable.

You each have a bathroom. Use your own!

How desperate can a 4 and 7/8 year old be?!

Nonotthisagain Mon 26-Oct-20 09:53:57

If you've got an en suite bathroom it is 'yours'

WhatATimeToBeAlive Mon 26-Oct-20 09:53:57

"Traipse upstairs". Is it a 10 storey mansion? It's not a big deal to use your own bathroom up one flight of stairs. Suppose she's desperate for the loo as well? YABU IMO.

IHeartKingThistle Mon 26-Oct-20 09:54:15

Pretty conclusive so far OP!

MadameMeursault Mon 26-Oct-20 09:54:19

You should use your own bathroom not hers. Can’t believe you would go through her bedroom without asking! Plenty of 1970s and older houses only had upstairs loos and we all coped then. YABU

TechGinny Mon 26-Oct-20 09:54:38

I don't think it matters whether it would bother you if it were your bedroom and bathroom - it bothers her and you should respect that. 'Upstairs' isn't exactly a million miles away, and many households only have an upstairs loo and cope just fine with young children.

Sexnotgender Mon 26-Oct-20 09:55:37

I’d not have gone through someone else’s bedroom to use the bathroom. I think it’s rude.

JoanApple Mon 26-Oct-20 09:56:00

YABU. It's not hard to walk up the stairs.

PatchworkElmer Mon 26-Oct-20 09:56:24

If I was looking for holiday accommodation and chose somewhere with all bedrooms en-suite, I’d expect everyone to use their own. You didn’t use the ‘downstairs loo’ really, you used ‘her’ bathroom- which is different I think.

MiddleClassMother Mon 26-Oct-20 09:56:29

I'm sure it's not a huge building with a long walk up the stairs, it really wouldn't take that much longer. It is a bit strange that there's no separate bathroom. However I wouldn't be too thrilled at having people walk through my bedroom either. For the sake of keeping everyone happy, just use "your" bathroom.

notacooldad Mon 26-Oct-20 09:56:42

Is this really something you get worked up about!
Traipse the kids upstairs!!

WheresYourSecretSadness Mon 26-Oct-20 09:56:53

So even if we are literally next to the downstairs bathroom door we should go upstairs (the stairs are steep and there’s a lot of them) to use the loo?

My kids often only tell me last minute when they need the toilet so it can be a mad rush

OP’s posts: |
CatsAndEyeliner Mon 26-Oct-20 09:57:21

Meaning I have to traipse upstairs every time me or the kids need the loo!

You’re making it out like it’s the biggest inconvenience in the world when ‘standard’ family homes just has one bathroom upstairs - it’s how people live their whole lives! It’s really not a hardship to have to go up one flight of stairs to the bathroom.

Icequeen01 Mon 26-Oct-20 09:57:21

I would be annoyed too if I was her. Use you own bathroom! Why would you even have to ask this question?

terriblyangryattimes Mon 26-Oct-20 09:57:22

Unless you're in a lighthouse YABU use your own loos.

whyareyoulying Mon 26-Oct-20 09:57:34

At 4 and 8 they can walk up the stairs

Coriandersucks Mon 26-Oct-20 09:57:48

Nope sorry I’m with your friend. If there had been another door to access it other than going through her bedroom then maybe that would have been acceptable but to drag your kids through her private space is not really on.

WheresYourSecretSadness Mon 26-Oct-20 09:58:02

She assumed that we would have just used our own she said and was surprised when we started going in hers. Isn’t this what everyone would’ve automatically done - gone in the nearest one?

OP’s posts: |
MiddleClassMother Mon 26-Oct-20 09:58:06

If it's attached to her bedroom then yes, unfortunately. Your children also need to learn that there's not toilets on demand everywhere. What if you're out and they need the toilet? Kids can be difficult at times!

Ghouliet Mon 26-Oct-20 09:58:28

She doesn’t want you using her bathroom. Neither would I. If you really need a downstairs toilet then swap bedrooms so your friend is upstairs and you are down. Or perhaps simply respect her wishes for you not to traipse through her bedroom when you have a bathroom upstairs

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