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Friend keeps taking photos all the time when we’re out!

(98 Posts)
Watermelon999 Mon 26-Oct-20 08:56:30

Ok, so I know this is not a first world problem, but it is irritating, and I wondered if anyone else does this and can shed any light on why!

If we are on a walk, or out anywhere in the past, my friend is frequently taking photos on her phone. Sometimes posed, sometimes I don’t have a clue they’re being taken.

Pretty much 100% unflattering, as they’re usually not the best angle, especially the ones I don’t know about! (Think double chins, not holding tummy in, close ups of face etc!).

The photos then all end up on Facebook. She will add a couple of flattering ones of her and then about 10+ of me at all angles. Sometimes eating a mouthful of food, or in the middle of speaking with my mouth open!

While it’s sometimes nice to have a record of a day, I would usually only post fairly flattering pictures of anyone! Also, i then spend the whole day stressing about whether I actually look like that!

I have dropped a few hints, saying I hope these aren’t going to end up on Facebook, or things like I think we should get on with walking and not stopping all the time, but to no avail!

Maybe I need to be more blunt, but otherwise I enjoy myself! Am I being over sensitive? Is anyone else like this? Can you shed any light as to why you do it?

OP’s posts: |
Freddiefox Mon 26-Oct-20 08:59:01

The fact that she puts up nice ones of her and not you is quite telling. Do the same back. Take some pictures of her and see how she’s reacts. You’ve asked her nicely maybe you need to show her.

Beagledbybeagle Mon 26-Oct-20 09:00:54

I wouldn't do it, its rude. Just tell her that having your photo taken makes you feel uncomfortable.

Beagledbybeagle Mon 26-Oct-20 09:01:59

Hinting just doesn't work with some people.

Redwolf1 Mon 26-Oct-20 09:04:09

You need to be blunt. "Please dont post any photos of me on facebook" no exceptions then the boundary cant be pushed

Morris125 Mon 26-Oct-20 09:06:21

Be blunt with her as she’s not taking the hint. I’d be pissed off and tell her not to take photos of me that are unplanned. Tbh, I think it speaks to me that she is a very vain person and probably isn’t looking at how you look in the photos, it is just an excuse to post a photo with her in it looking nice!

MercedesDeMonteChristo Mon 26-Oct-20 09:10:00

I have friends that always want to take photos and I wouldn’t mind, but it’s never just one. We went to a wedding where they basically took variations of the same photo all day whilst I went to dance. Subsequent WhatsApp group filled with, i kid you not, 100s of photos all just the tiniest bit different. I just bluntly said I’m done.

Someone tried to get me to do this the other day on a walk and I just said no. When she pushed I said I don’t want to.

My husbands family also do this. Yet with all the photos and videos they can never recall very much.

balla20 Mon 26-Oct-20 09:10:12

As @Freddiefox says take some of her in unflattering conditions & tag her on FB. She will get the message.

Iloveacurry Mon 26-Oct-20 09:12:22

She knows what she’s doing. Putting nice photos of herself up and less flattering ones of you. Have a word with her, and if she doesn’t listen, take some photos yourself, perhaps some unflattering ones of her.

Chloemol Mon 26-Oct-20 09:13:05

Just tell her to stop. Tell her she doesn’t have permission to post any pictures of you and if she does you will be reporting to Facebook, and stop seeing her as she is no friend

The fact she posts good ones of her and not of you tells a story on its own, is she jealous? Is she insecure? Who knows but it’s upsetting you and should stop

Scarydinosaurs Mon 26-Oct-20 09:13:13

Untag yourself and ask her to take the ones of you down.

It’s so rude. She can take photos of herself/the area but you aren’t a fucking prop!

Vello Mon 26-Oct-20 09:15:32

Sooooo sick of awful phone people. Put it away! Stop interrupting everything with stupid posing!

It's impossible to hold a conversation with people like this. I find them so so tiresome.

user102740264923 Mon 26-Oct-20 09:16:43

It's not "blunt" to calmly tell someone what you mean instead of passively making sideways hints and hoping they read your mind. It's about being assertive, which is neither blunt not rude.

Passively hinting is a really crap and ineffective way to communicate.

Bidl Mon 26-Oct-20 09:20:29

This is so annoying! I hate being out and every moment is snapped! I mean who wants another picture of a coffee, walk or child’s star shaped sandwiches.

I don’t really understand why people want to document so much of their life and put it on SM.

You need to tell her outright that you don’t want pictures online and she should respect your privacy.

LarryUnderwood Mon 26-Oct-20 09:20:29

Just say - please don't post photos of me on Facebook. I'm not comfortable with it.
I've said this to a few people and generally they are a bit taken aback, then apologetic and take them down. It hasn't affected those friendships in any way. I also have controls on my account so nothing can be put on my timeliness without my approval.

dancingbadger Mon 26-Oct-20 09:21:42

This would really annoy me, it speaks volumes about her imo. I've had friends who have done this in the past, the whole day is 'curated' to make their fb/insta profiles look good, they even take photos of their food in a restaurant to show to their admiring fans.
You are just an accessory (although an unwilling one) to make her look popular/ pretty etc. It also makes me think that these types don't care about you (if they did they wouldn't post unflattering photos) just about how their sm profiles appear to others, it would put me off spending time with her.

LarryUnderwood Mon 26-Oct-20 09:22:23

user102740264923

It's not "blunt" to calmly tell someone what you mean instead of passively making sideways hints and hoping they read your mind. It's about being assertive, which is neither blunt not rude.

Passively hinting is a really crap and ineffective way to communicate.

Exactly this.

justilou1 Mon 26-Oct-20 09:22:31

Stop fucking hinting. Let her know you hate it and don’t want to be involved. It’s not that hard. If she is a good friend, she will respect it. Grow a pair.

ReneeRol Mon 26-Oct-20 09:22:58

She's trying to make you look bad. She's not your friend. I wouldn't even see her again, let alone take photos.

Ferrari458 Mon 26-Oct-20 09:23:36

I don't think I'd be particularly subtle "Would you STOP taking all those fucking photos of me please? And if you do I'm telling you now - don't put any on social media."

AwaAnBileYerHeid Mon 26-Oct-20 09:26:08

I had a friend like this. Every meeting was an opportunity to take photos to put on facebook to show everyone what a busy life she has with all of her friends 🙄 Constantly tagging people in stuff. It was just sheer "look at me I'm so popular" stuff. I asked her nicely numerous times not to do it as I didn't like it and she would roll her eyes and sigh. So I binned her off. Friends are meant to respect your wishes and boundaries. If this one doesn't, ask yourself is it a friendship you wish to continue with?

Meruem Mon 26-Oct-20 09:31:42

I’d be really angry if someone did this to me. I look terrible in photos and even posed ones I have to take about 20 times to get something half decent! Stop being nice, she isn’t being nice to you. Tell her straight, no more photos on FB. You have the right to say whether your pic is online or not. That’s not unreasonable at all.

scoobydoo1971 Mon 26-Oct-20 09:33:15

It screams of her insecurity, and possible jealousy of you that she feels the need to do this. It is verging on bullying by belittling someone in this way. You want to say that you are worried about your privacy so please stop posting because you will have to report it to Facebook (or other social media management) if she doesn't stop. Don't take this personally...it tells a story all about her and her thinking, and nothing to do with how you look in photo's.

CheetasOnFajitas Mon 26-Oct-20 09:33:53

Sounds like she is really annoying company with all this photo-taking. I hate it when people don’t engage in being with you because they are always lining up the next shot. On that basis alone (regardless of where the pics end up) I’d just stop hanging out with her. It’s ironic isn’t it, that the pics portray an amaazing day out with her friend when in fact the day was pretty rubbish because of all the picture-taking.

If she is a close friend and you used to ha e good times together, maybe you could say “look I find you rude and annoying when you do this. Put the phone away for her whole wall or I won’t come on the next one”.

CheetasOnFajitas Mon 26-Oct-20 09:34:28

“For the whole walk”

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