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To ask what you think of this childhood incident?

(71 Posts)
NorthGirl2 Sat 24-Oct-20 10:49:36

When I was 13 I had a birthday get together at my house with a few friends. My dad brought my birthday cake out and it was a cake in the design of breasts. They sold these cakes at Tesco at the time.

I was mortified and my friends were also embarrassed. My dad thought it was hilarious.

I was talking with a colleague about embarrassing childhood moments and mentioned this story. She was shocked and said if that happened today there would be concerns.

I just wanted opinions on what others would think of this - my mum knew about the cake but didn't try to stop it

OP’s posts: |
ChazP Sat 24-Oct-20 10:52:07

Wrong wrong wrong!
Wrong as a 13 yr old’s cake
Wrong for a father to get his daughter, regardless of her age.
Just wrong!

AbsentmindedWoman Sat 24-Oct-20 11:00:16

Gross. Inappropriate. Wtf was your dad thinking?

It points to a lack of healthy boundaries on his part - that's taking the incident at face value, because you don't mention any other abusive behaviours. Your mum lacked the assertiveness to point out that he shouldn't do it.

But if I was a betting woman I'd say there were other 'incidents' like this dotted throughout your teens, because a man who does this probably does other weird creepy shit as they have no idea about healthy boundaries. I am being charitable here.

Unless it was totally out of character and a one off?

GoldfishParade Sat 24-Oct-20 11:03:43

Horrible. Insane that Tesco's would sell boob cakes too!

Shinygoldbauble Sat 24-Oct-20 11:09:58

Inappropriate but could it be an immature sense of humour and trying to be a 'cool dad'?
Only you can say whether it was a once off ill-judged prank or part of a pattern of inappropriate behaviour.

BumblePan Sat 24-Oct-20 11:16:38

Wow! Just shocking.
What was he thinking!!!
What was your mum thinking!

ExclamationPerfume Sat 24-Oct-20 11:20:37

Very inappropriate. My friends Dad was a bit of a joker. He was always saying inappropriate things. It came out he was abusing her and her sister.

hapagirl Sat 24-Oct-20 11:23:23

Very inappropriate! Poor you. I was 13 in the 80s where values were pretty different to today but even then it would have been considered inappropriate.

Pesimistic Sat 24-Oct-20 11:26:19

Yes completely inappropriate for children to have a boobs as a birthday cake. Makes me feels like I need a bath actualy

MoreCookiesPlease Sat 24-Oct-20 11:27:08

What?? That's really creepy and strange. For you as a 13 year old but also in front of friends.
Did he have form for being inappropriate in other ways too? Can you think of any other incidents like this growing up?

iklboo Sat 24-Oct-20 11:30:37

So, so wrong. He probably thought he was being 'hilarious' without giving any actual thought to you & ruining your birthday.

Audreyseyebrows Sat 24-Oct-20 11:33:50

It would be inappropriate at any age but at 13 it’s disgusting.

zingally Sat 24-Oct-20 11:34:33

Inappropriate and weird.

If it was a one-off weird moment, then I'd be prepared to over-look it as "momentary madness", but if there were other "odd" moments in your teen years, including things you didn't consider odd until you looked back at them years later...

LittleTiger007 Sat 24-Oct-20 11:35:19

Oh my OP. That’s sad, disturbed and disgusting.

transformandriseup Sat 24-Oct-20 11:36:41

It's very inappropriate for 13. Poor you.

RedHelenB Sat 24-Oct-20 11:38:07

If it was a cake bought from a shop I don't see why it's anything more than embarrassing

Givemeabreak88 Sat 24-Oct-20 11:38:11

I just googled the cake cos I couldn’t imagine Tesco’s selling something like this seems so inappropriate and it actually brings up a mn thread where someone asks if it’s ok to get for her 8 year old son confused

MustardMitt Sat 24-Oct-20 11:39:01

My dad didn’t do this (because he would never have gone to a supermarket) but he used to make inappropriate jokes all the time. He still does, and I hate it.

No abuse, just a completely clueless man who had no filter and enjoyed making people uncomfortable. It has lost him friends over the years and unfortunately now he’s older he has a very I’m too old to change attitude - he doesn’t seem to understand or care that people don’t want to interact with people that make them uncomfortable or embarrassed.

iHaveACold Sat 24-Oct-20 11:41:14

I remember those cakes! I actually think one member of my family ended up having it as a birthday cake! If an isolated incident, then no I would say there would be concerns.

I googled the cake and this thread came up. A mum asking if it would be inappropriate to buy her child one.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/other_subjects/36810-booby-birthday-cake-for-8yo

FTMF30 Sat 24-Oct-20 11:46:39

That is very wierd and creepy, OP.
What's your relationship with him like now? I'd want to bring it up with him if I were you and ask what he was thinking.

marmite79 Sat 24-Oct-20 11:48:10

Oh god I actually remember these cakes I think!

PatchworkElmer Sat 24-Oct-20 11:48:20

What an awful thing to do to your 13 year old child!

sixthtimelucky Sat 24-Oct-20 11:51:18

Obviously inappropriate but I do know dads who would (misguidedly) think this was funny without sinister agenda.

What was your relationship like with your father and how do you think he would have thought you'd react to the cake?

formerbabe Sat 24-Oct-20 11:53:09

I've seen those cakes...I've always assumed they're for stag parties or a bloke in his twenties...not a child's birthday, wtf...very inappropriate.

Fahrted Sat 24-Oct-20 11:53:47

It's the kind of thing my XH would have done. This is one reason he is my XH.

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