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AIBU?

To believe that providing free meals for children

262 replies

Completelyfrozen · 23/10/2020 20:56

Is not enough!
I hear people saying that children shouldn't go hungry and I wholeheartedly agree. It is a travesty in 2020 that any child goes hungry, regardless of the reason behind it, but is that where our responsibility as a society ends?
I want to live in a society where children are provided with a hot meal every day.
A warm dry bed to sleep in at night.
Warm clean dry clothes.
Facilities to wash and brush their teeth.
Warm dry shoes.
An adequate education.
Opportunities to play and socialise.
A safe environment to grow up in.
A home free from damp or mould.
I want to live in a society where adults have access to hot water and washing facilities so they can keep themselves and their children clean.
What can we do, as a nation to address these issues so that children have their most basic requirements met?
YABU - Providing one hot meal per day is enough and parents should provide the rest, despite their circumstances. It is not the govts responsibility to provide anything more.
YANBU - Providing one free meal a day is just the start but as a society, we need to do much much more to ensure children are provided these basic needs and if the parents cannot provide these basic items for any reason, then the govt has a responsibility to step in and provide them.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

659 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
36%
You are NOT being unreasonable
64%
contrmary · 23/10/2020 20:58

YABU, but your choices are unfair. Parents should provide IT ALL. The state shouldn't need to provide "free" (strangely someone else still pays) at all.

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FlitterMouse · 23/10/2020 21:00

Its a travesty that anyone should go hungry or be homeless

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Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/10/2020 21:01

YANBU. We need fair wages and an enforced cap on private rent costs. Rent is extortionate and private landlords can charge what they like. Private rent costs should be in line with HA rent costs.

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ComDummings · 23/10/2020 21:02

I can’t understand the thought process of the whole ‘their parents should be providing it so the children should get nothing’ brigade. I truly don’t. Most people I’ve known on FSM (I’m in my early 30s so back in the early 00s til now) had a single parent or parents who worked. They worked hard. Minimum wage is crap. The whole ‘the parents should get jobs and stop buying fags and booze’ line trotted out is generally bollocks anyway. We should definitely be providing a good standard of living for everyone, especially the vulnerable and most of all for children. Raise minimum wage, provide more for children and families who need it.

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FallonCarringtonWannabe · 23/10/2020 21:04

Some parents are living in poverty. The children should never be made to suffer.

However, some parents are just really shit. Can’t prioritise. Spend without thought. See no value in the basic standards of parenting. Don’t know what the role of a parent actually is.

Some people would say if you have a shit parent then that’s just tough, but many others think that society should take over.

I honestly would make parenting courses compulsory.

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user1471453601 · 23/10/2020 21:06

I really think who is responsible for the child going hungry ( or cold, or not having shoes etc) is a secondary question, to be dealt with after the child is fed etc

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Doingitaloneandproud · 23/10/2020 21:08

I don't think I can vote on the app Hmm
YABU I do agree no child should go hungry, but we can't expect the state to pay for everything for a child.
Where will we expect all the money to come from? I do agree minimum wage needs to be raised as the cost of living has increased massively whereas the wages have not followed suit.

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Northofsomewhere · 23/10/2020 21:10

I feel as though some parts of society are moving backwards, there's an increase in thinking about poor people as either deserving or underserving. A Victorian way of thinking of those in work and of 'good moral standing' (who are we to judge) deserving of aid and those unemployed and maybe with a criminal record, too many children or not white Christian enough undeserving.

Food banks should not be a thing in 2020. There should not be a gap to fill however that gap is only getting greater. People shouldn't be homeless or facing homelessness. A basic standard of living in the UK should include all the things you've covered and even more. Other European countries have a basic universal income and the benefits of it are well documents in terms of happiness and productivity of a society. People shouldn't have to work, they should work because they want to contribute to society.

I come from a poor background and a town with lots of social problems and was raised on benefits by a single parent. I now have 2 degrees and have been fortunate enough, I am now able to help people out who are now in that position and am more than willing to pay higher taxes to do so. Poverty is so much more visible than it was when I was growing up.

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BooFuckingHoo2 · 23/10/2020 21:14

No child should go hungry however, given that I’m not on benefits I’ve just been on the benefit calculator out of interest and the amount a single non-working parent with 2 kids would be entitled to is £1750 per month where I live. That’s based on rent for a 3 bed of £750 and council tax of £95, say other bills are another £150. That leaves £750 a month for everything else, not rolling in it but not “unable to feed the kids” territory unless they have significant debts, which I would suggest need to be addressed with a debt charity.

What else do people think the government should be doing? Raising the amount of benefits? Just curious

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puzzlelover3 · 23/10/2020 21:19

It's REALLY not that simple though OP...

I want to live in a society where children are provided with a hot meal every day.- who is going to ensure that the parents do this, if the parents are not the ones cooking then how do they get the meal??
A warm dry bed to sleep in at night.- provided by the government? Are they also going to provide free washing and drying services to sustain it throughout a child's life or are they sending ppl out to check the parents are keeping the beds warm and dry.
Warm clean dry clothes.- same as bed scenario
Facilities to wash and brush their teeth- again are they going to send out a toothbrush every month, are they going to provide a person to come in and make sure parents are ensuring their child brushes their teeth (because those of us who have kids know that sometimes that's a nightly battle!).
Warm dry shoes.
An adequate education.- this is already provided believe it or not.
Opportunities to play and socialise. - already provided through school and playgroups.
A safe environment to grow up in. - this can be provided but it may not be with parents of course, but ultimately that's what social services try to uphold.
A home free from damp or mould. - again this could be provided but some people have no idea how to air out a house and prevent damp so are the government going to send in ppl to monitor this
I want to live in a society where adults have access to hot water and washing facilities so they can keep themselves and their children clean. - they do mostly.
What can we do, as a nation to address these issues so that children have their most basic requirements met?Well I don't know entirely but we are only human and we can't be monitored/policed in all of those area's above. And we could provide parenting classes I suppose but what happens if someone fails it, are they sterilised? are their children taken away? Are they banned from having children?

Some parents will always fail their children, no matter what you provide them with and as hard as it sounds it's impossible to keep on top of OP.

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WingsOnCats · 23/10/2020 21:29

No child should ever go hungry. But the responsibility should be with the parents, not the state. Parents get child benefit (I know that's not a fortune) so surely that should be used to feed the child?

Otherwise where will it end? Should the state pay for everyone's child until they reach 18?

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june2007 · 23/10/2020 21:29

The previous queries have several examples of poor take up of schemes. Lunch clubs, not attended or not attracting the ones in most need. School lunch packs not collected or thrown away, vouchers sold and tradded. What is the solution?

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PenguinIce · 23/10/2020 21:31

@Waxonwaxoff0

YANBU. We need fair wages and an enforced cap on private rent costs. Rent is extortionate and private landlords can charge what they like. Private rent costs should be in line with HA rent costs.

This 100%!
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BooFuckingHoo2 · 23/10/2020 21:34

Define fair wages? £12/hour? £20/hour? Can you not understand this will lead to thousands of redundancies in an environment where many low paid jobs are already on the brink?

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CiderJolly · 23/10/2020 21:37

@BooFuckingHoo2 where do you live? Because there is a benefit cap that’s lower than what you just said outside of London.

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CiderJolly · 23/10/2020 21:38

And other bills £150? My energy bill is more than that.

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BooFuckingHoo2 · 23/10/2020 21:38

North west - I have just run it on my north west postcode. It says there was a £60 deduction due to benefit cap (the £1750 I quote was less this amount)

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BooFuckingHoo2 · 23/10/2020 21:41

My energy bill is £85 a month and I live in a 4 bed detached.

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Pixxie7 · 23/10/2020 21:41

I still think the province of a good basic income should be considered and then if people still can’t provide start asking questions.

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HopeClearwater · 23/10/2020 21:42

Can you not understand this will lead to thousands of redundancies in an environment where many low paid jobs are already on the brink

Yes, this will indeed happen as long as the necessity of increasing profits year after year and paying out to the shareholders continue to be the primary aims of big companies ... but this is capitalism.

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BooFuckingHoo2 · 23/10/2020 21:42

@Pixxie7 but is this not what universal credit seeks to do? Provide a good basic income?

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HopeClearwater · 23/10/2020 21:43

@BooFuckingHoo2 jeez, who are you with? Mine’s nearly double that. South of England. 3 bed semi.

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BooFuckingHoo2 · 23/10/2020 21:44

Yes, this will indeed happen as long as the necessity of increasing profits year after year and paying out to the shareholders continue to be the primary aims of big companies ... but this is capitalism.

Erm yes Confused people generally don’t invest and bust their arse into their business just for shits and giggles or the good of the community, as lovely as that would be.

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CiderJolly · 23/10/2020 21:45

@BooFuckingHoo2 benefit cap is about £1666 in the scenario you describe so your figures are out.

I live in an old house that needs work, boiler is new, 3 kids, energy bills quite high and I do work full time so not always in house.

How are yours so low? Newer house? Less kids? People can’t always control their circumstances.

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BooFuckingHoo2 · 23/10/2020 21:45

@HopeClearwater octopus. It’s higher in the winter but average over the year is £85. It was about £100 when I was in a much older house and I don’t scrimp on the heating either.

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