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OH thinks no kids are left hungry?!!

(362 Posts)
ihate2020 Fri 23-Oct-20 12:08:59

I've joined the cook4kids over the half term in our area.

Oh is pissed of about it and thinks the parents that collect the lunch boxes I've made up are just out to get a freebie and I should spend the money on our own kids

AIBU to say he is a delunsional idiot?

OP’s posts: |
feministfemme Fri 23-Oct-20 12:12:32

Could you educate him on child / food poverty? He sounds fortunate enough to have never had to worry about this, so maybe it's just ignorance. If they're out to get a "freebie" then there's probably a reason for that.

MitziK Fri 23-Oct-20 12:13:29

He's certainly not too bright then, is he?

AriettyHomily Fri 23-Oct-20 12:14:35

How unaware of the world is he? I don't think I could be with someone with such little empathy, common sense and quite frankly that fucking thick.

ZaraW Fri 23-Oct-20 12:16:09

Beyond words that he doesn't realise the situation many families are facing and children are going hungry. It's going to get worse.

Smallsteps88 Fri 23-Oct-20 12:16:35

How privileged his life has been.

CuriousaboutSamphire Fri 23-Oct-20 12:18:22

Send him off to vounteer with a food bank. He'll soon see that those who take advantage are far, far outweighed by those who have absolutely no other way to feed themselves. Sometimes the system is just too slow to repsnd to real need!

As many others in the sector we are taking people at face value at the moment. Covid has changed life's basics for so many people and it is bloody scary that so many people cannot see it.

MootingMirror Fri 23-Oct-20 12:18:23

DFIL is the Chair of Governors at a school in central London where there is a lot of food poverty etc and DH is a teacher (and I used to be one). I'll be honest even though I'll get slammed for it.
Children are not going hungry unless their parents are either not applying for the help they're entitled to or the parents are not prioritising the children over their own needs. When lockdown kicked in, DFILs school gave out vouchers for school lunches - the vouchers weren't spent on food for the students and the vulnerable children (who still attended school) turned up without lunches. (The canteen was closed which is why the vouchers were given out instead of them getting the meals at school). The school then handed out food parcels to the families instead of the vouchers and the students STILL came in without food because it was sold/swapped for other things. It got to the point where the very vulnerable children who came to school had the canteen reopened (in a limited capacity) and the school had staff going door-to-door handing out food to students and watching them open it so it couldn't be sold or traded elsewhere.
Food is cheap in this country, benefits have been raised, schools have provisions for pupil premium students - some parents do not care. What you're doing will help hungry children but those children are hungry because of their parents.

CuriousaboutSamphire Fri 23-Oct-20 12:19:01

What you're doing will help hungry children but those children are hungry because of their parents. All of them? OK!

AdoraBell Fri 23-Oct-20 12:20:28

Did he never know that anyone had free school meals when he was in school?

Has he ever come into contact with a person who needs to claim benefits because their wage doesn’t cover rent/utilities/council tax/travel and food?

Or is he completely blinkered?

Either educate him if that’s possible, or ignore him and carry on.

fairynick Fri 23-Oct-20 12:21:12

@MootingMirror why does any of what you have said matter? Let’s say all these parents unable to feed their children are alcoholics/drug addicts/ spend all their money on booze cigarettes and holidays to Benidorm. They’re the shittest parents in the world and don’t prioritise their children.
Why should the consequences of that then fall on their children? It isn’t fair.

PineappleUpsideDownCake Fri 23-Oct-20 12:21:56

I went hugry as a child. But I doubt my parents would have pucked up a food box either 😔

VinylDetective Fri 23-Oct-20 12:22:02

Does it really matter why they’re hungry? I don’t want hungry children in a so-called civilised country, regardless of whose fault it is.

unmarkedbythat Fri 23-Oct-20 12:22:16

I have no time for people who care more about who is to blame for children being hungry than about preventing children being hungry. They need food. Feed them. The wank about whether it is feckless parents or government policies can wait. Whilst you pontificate over fault and blame the children remain hungry.

MootingMirror Fri 23-Oct-20 12:23:41

fairynick

*@MootingMirror* why does any of what you have said matter? Let’s say all these parents unable to feed their children are alcoholics/drug addicts/ spend all their money on booze cigarettes and holidays to Benidorm. They’re the shittest parents in the world and don’t prioritise their children.
Why should the consequences of that then fall on their children? It isn’t fair.

It matters because it means it's the parents' fault. I never said the children should bear the consequences - I said the EXACT opposite. Read what I wrote.

feministfemme Fri 23-Oct-20 12:24:06

clears throat

*WE SHOULDN'T LET CHILDREN GO HUNGRY EVEN IF IT IS THE FAULT OF THE PARENTS. THE CHILDREN HAVE NO CULPABILITY.
EITHER YOU FUNDAMENTALLY THINK ALL CHILDREN HAVE A RIGHT TO FOOD, OR YOU DON'T.*

Phew. I feel better.

GreyishDays Fri 23-Oct-20 12:24:13

These are quite good for understanding food bank use. It’s the same idea isn’t it? People being unable to afford food.
www.trusselltrust.org/what-we-do/real-stories/

ZaraW Fri 23-Oct-20 12:24:34

MootingMirror children are going hungry. Maybe because of their parents behaviour maybe not. Show some compassion every child deserves to be fed.

MootingMirror Fri 23-Oct-20 12:25:02

unmarkedbythat

I have no time for people who care more about who is to blame for children being hungry than about preventing children being hungry. They need food. Feed them. The wank about whether it is feckless parents or government policies can wait. Whilst you pontificate over fault and blame the children remain hungry.

The question of whose fault it is is really important. If we think parents are trying their best to feed hungry children then the school in my post would've continued giving the vouchers to the parents and the children would've remained hungry. By realising who was to blame, the school changed their actions and the children got fed.

MootingMirror Fri 23-Oct-20 12:25:39

ZaraW

MootingMirror children are going hungry. Maybe because of their parents behaviour maybe not. Show some compassion every child deserves to be fed.

Where did I say they shouldn't be fed?!?! Can anyone who's responding to me actually read what I wrote!?

feministfemme Fri 23-Oct-20 12:26:14

@MootingMirror But why does it matter who's fault it is? I agree that feckless parents who don't care about their children are awful, but kids deserve to eat even if it's their parents fault.

WhereverIGoddamnLike Fri 23-Oct-20 12:26:34

I never understand how relationship with such opposing politica views can last.

Difference are great, a wee debate with your partner is always good. But to believe such opposing things so strongly that he is telling you off for wasting money etc... I dont know how anyone manages it

MootingMirror Fri 23-Oct-20 12:26:41

feministfemme

^clears throat^

*WE SHOULDN'T LET CHILDREN GO HUNGRY EVEN IF IT IS THE FAULT OF THE PARENTS. THE CHILDREN HAVE NO CULPABILITY.
EITHER YOU FUNDAMENTALLY THINK ALL CHILDREN HAVE A RIGHT TO FOOD, OR YOU DON'T.*

Phew. I feel better.

Yes, I completely agree. But if the parents don't prioritise giving children food, giving food to the parents won't result in children being fed.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Fri 23-Oct-20 12:27:38

@unmarkedbythat and @feministfemme absolutely.

MootingMirror Fri 23-Oct-20 12:27:59

feministfemme

*@MootingMirror* But why does it matter who's fault it is? I agree that feckless parents who don't care about their children are awful, but kids deserve to eat even if it's their parents fault.

It matters because if parents are trying their best to feed their children then if we give money or food to the parents then the children will be fed. If parents are NOT prioritising feeding their children and we give money/food to the parents then the children won't be fed. The food needs to go directly to the children.

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