‘Told off’ by teacher for not using one way system

[Essex16]

So DD school has a one way system and 2 entrance gates. Our house is closest to the side gate which is directly opposite DD classroom. Under the one way system we are meant to walk past the classroom all the way round the front of the school through the main entrance and then round the school to end up back in the same spot and the drop DD off. DD has a physical disability and I believe it’s unnecessary to make her walk all the way round when we can just walk straight up instead. There is always the same teacher at the entrance of the side gate so I asked her and she said it was fine for us not to use the one way. Today, (the one day this other teacher is not guarding the gate 🤦🏻‍♀️) DD classroom teacher told me “you always go the wrong way!”. I explained that I had asked this teacher who said it was fine. Her response was “ooo special treatment” “we’ve been told to make sure everyone is going the correct way”. I said I would ask again after half term. The more I’ve thought about it the more it’s winding me up, I’m not sure if it was the special treatment comment or if I’m just being sensitive. AIBU?

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

YANBU, I agree with you, but loads of people will be on to tell you that teachers are under breaking point, etc etc

[ApolloandDaphne]

I think it really depends on the tone in which it was said. It is possible she was just jesting with you. I am sure they have lots of people trying to flout the rules and need to try and be consistent where possible. Given your DD has a disability I am sure it will be fine for you to continue using this entrance.

[madnessitellyou]

I'd contact the school and ask if it's okay, explaining your reasons. They can then let all members of staff know.

[Ellovera2]

She shouldn't have said that, no.
But I do understand in a way. In my school, we get bollocked if someone in our class goes the wrong way/comes at the wrong time/only leaves 1.87m between themselves and the person in front. It's awful knowing that every day you're going get told off by your boss again over it. Beciaw they're worried they'll get bollocked by the LA if something happens.
Speak to the head and explain that your child needs to go in that way due to their disability. They'll then inform the teacher. The other teacher on the gate probably didn't inform anyone else.

[TerribleLizard]

Is your dd at primary school with that one teacher all day? I wouldn’t like the idea that my child was spending all her days with a teacher who made comments about special treatment. How have you found the general attitude to her disability?

[Ellovera2]

*because!

[Conquered]

YABU personally

Takes away from the whole point of having a one way system.

The only way I'd 'allow' this, would be that you would be the last people to exit the school grounds.

[Sunseed]

Special treatment - or a reasonable adjustment to take into account the physical disability? Sounds like she'd make a similar comment about disabled parking spaces.

[MissBaskinIfYoureNasty]

"Ooh special treatment" would massively piss me off. Yes special treatment or in other words reasonable adjustments for a disabled kid!

[Looneytune253]

I was gonna say yabu until I saw that your dd has a physical disability. Might be worth an email to the main office to clarify.

[Givemeabreak88]

Yeh I would have found that rude. I have 3 children at primary and they wanted me to pick them up all at different times, and different gates! Due to dd having asd I told them it’s not possible for me to stand around with her and drag her round to all different gates (her class is the first to be picked up) same with dropping off in the morning. So the school arranged for me to drop them all together at the same time slightly later than everyone else in the morning and pick them up all together slightly early in the afternoons. Never had any comments about special treatment, I wouldn’t be happy!

[Houseplanted]

It’s a reasonable adjustment but you could perhaps ask if DD can go in first or last so it doesn’t interfere with the one way system.

[Frazzled13]

Special treatment - or a reasonable adjustment to take into account the physical disability

Exactly. What a shitty attitude.

[Seeline]

Would the new teacher be aware of your DDs disability?

[Givemeabreak88]

Should add we are not allowed inside the school so it would mean standing on the side of the road for 30 mins

[starfishmummy]

YANBU. It sounds like a perfectly reasonable adjustment for a disabled child.

My own (now adult) son is disabled, with limited walking ability. I know how far he can reasonably walk and if he was asked to take a longer route he would be struggling.

[Laiste]

It's lack of communication. Write to the school and ask for conformation of their permission for your DD to have this allowance due to her disability. Make it official.

Perhaps you can arrange that you take her in 10 mins early - or late - so that you are not going against the flow of lots of parents.

My friend has her DD picked up early by her mum because mum can't do the long way round due to the hill. The DD just comes out of class 2 mins before everyone else and her nan takes her from the top gate. No drama.

[Watermelon999]

If the teacher is aware of your dd’s disability, and she is unable to walk far, or it is something that will be made worse by walking long distances then YANBU. The school should have made special allowances for this, but maybe you should have mentioned it officially, through the right channels.

If the teacher does not know about the disability and school are not aware it’s a problem, I think YABU. There will be risk assessments in place which need to be followed, and if breached will risk complaints or others not complying, then increased risk of spread.

[Florencex]

I think YABU. One child simply going against the flow doesn’t sound like a sensible reasonable adjustment, a better one would be that she goes against the flow but either first or last.

[BlackeyedSusan]

yep, reasonable adjustment for disability, ask them to put in writing why it is unreasonable if they are a bit reluctant to make adjustments. You might find they let you in at a different time to keep the one way system working...

[LolaSmiles]

The attitude sounds rude but the principle is right. It's difficult doing what we're supposed to be doing for consistency and to reduce risk if colleagues are totally ignoring it and making the rules up as they go along.

Schools are getting visits to check covid risk assessments are being followed and if the one way system is in place it needs to be followed unless there is a clear reason not to and the additional risk has been accounted for.

A reasonable adjustment should be properly agreed with some consideration of reducing risk (eg not following one way system, but using it at a different time window to most people).

[DuchenneParent]

I am normally a pretty laid back person but that comment about special treatment would piss me off massively if a teacher said it about my son, what an ignorant thing to say! I think I would write a polite grumble to the SENCO about it and make sure all the staff know that this is allowed.

[FortunesFave]

"ooh special treatment"

I don't think that's acceptable at all!

I'd complain. I honestly would. That attitude should not be in a school! It's meant to be inclusive!

[Laiste]

Having worked in a school for many years i'm amazed that the teacher who originally told you it was ok didn't automatically communicate this to the rest of the staff and take it as an opportunity to check that no one else was struggling and change the policy properly.

[DimidDavilby]

If your dds disability impacts her ability to walk distances YANBU, reasonable adjustments should be made and the teacher is on shakey ground legally.