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AIBU?

MIL - WTF do we do?

380 replies

Pregernaught · 22/10/2020 07:44

I posted before about MIL buying a next to me crib for her house and passing on questionable vintage baby advice. I thought I’d nipped it in the bud, she’s been ok for a few weeks but last night we had another issue and I’m not sure whether to start winding down contact with her or try one more time to put my foot down?

I’m now 16 weeks, MIL has been buying bits of clothes etc which is totally fine, I’ve just asked that she doesn’t bring them to my house until I’m 28 weeks or more (I’ve had miscarriages, I’m superstitious etc). MIL pulled a face at this but whatever, I asked her not to buy things early on but she went ahead so her choices, not mine.

Anyway, I had a bit of bleeding last week (nothing serious, cervical irritation it turned out) so I went to see the midwife who sent me for a quick scan just to check baby was ok and all is well. DH was on the phone to MIL when I got back from the hospital and had his ‘wtf’ face on, so I asked him to put her on speaker and the first thing I heard was enormous, dramatic fake sobs. I asked what had happened, and apparently DH had mentioned I’d gone for a scan to check all was ok and MIL had immediately decided my bleeding was because she’d bought things Too early and it was all her fault and how could she live with herself for (wait for it)... KILLING HER BABY!

Ummmmmm... who’s baby?

I said ‘MIL I’m going to hang up now and we can talk when you’re acting more appropriately, night’ in a very flat tone.

30 mins later just as we were settling down to eat, cue MIL walking straight in to the house (she always does this) still sobbing. I stood up to tell her to get the fuck out, but was stopped when she walks straight up to me, puts her hands on my intestines (no where near where baby is right now!) and starts whimpering ‘oh I thought I’d lost you baby!’ At my empty stomach.

DH hit the roof and told her she was acting like a complete head case and to go home, we’d call her to talk when we were ready. She left. We just stood completely lost for words for a few seconds before DH started apologising a lot.

So, obviously we change the locks and don’t give her a key, but how on earth do we address the fact that this attention seeking madness is likely a sign that she’s become quite unwell whilst still protecting ourselves from it? DH is an only child and MIL lives alone although she has a gentleman friend who visits daily. There isn’t really anyone else other than her siblings who can help with this.

I’m wondering whether to call DH’s aunt (they’re close), explain what’s happening and see if there’s any light she can shed on why MIL might be acting the way she is? She’s always been a centre of attention type, but never like this.

WTF do I do?

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Pregernaught · 22/10/2020 07:49

Also, I realise I said I was 19 weeks in my other thread, it was an outing evasion tactic but at this point I could not care less.

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