Talk

Advanced search

How to snare a decent English man? Are there any?

(131 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

WashedandDried Tue 20-Oct-20 03:40:25

As a foreign woman living here, I'm wondering about this. Thanks.

OP’s posts: |
user1468538201 Tue 20-Oct-20 03:51:55

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GetYourGoatYouHavePulled Tue 20-Oct-20 03:54:58

Is that you Megan??

LaBellina Tue 20-Oct-20 03:57:19

Go to the nearest fish market and seduce him there with your Christmas cookies scented bumhole.

raddledoldmisanthropist Tue 20-Oct-20 04:26:29

What's wrong with the Welsh?

raddledoldmisanthropist Tue 20-Oct-20 04:31:17

As a foreign woman

I'm from foreignia originally too. Don't you miss the pasta/curry/tacos/borscht/crepes? And the lovely rolling hills/dessert/tropical beaches/elephants/traffic?

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles Tue 20-Oct-20 04:51:52

Dig a small pit, cover with branches and leaves and wait for an English man to fall in.
It is difficult to ensure that you have snared a decent one so you may have to release a couple back into the countryside before you get a good one.
To this end the siting of the pit is important so Chelsea and Knightsbridge are both fine locations.
Should you be after a 'country type' the Cotswolds can be a good starting point.
Good luck 🤞

minipilling Tue 20-Oct-20 05:02:57

No you use a cardboard box trap with a stick and string. Put a copy of Town and Country inside to catch a decent man. Or the Bible if you mean that type of decent. If you're not catching anything try a greggs steak bake and hope for the best.

Namechangeme87 Tue 20-Oct-20 05:17:40

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles 😂😂

I may try this myself actually

Huge fan of the cotswolds so will try my luck next time I am down there

Letsallscreamatthesistene Tue 20-Oct-20 05:36:40

Lay a sprung net out on the floor and cover with leaves. Put something of interest in the middle of it, but be sure to attach a trip wire to it. Then an unsuspecting man will walk in, pick up the object and be hoisted into the air by the net, and you've got him.

Bonuses of doing it this way is that you can use the object as something you have in common. Imagine this - standing below the net and shouting up, "OMG, I like malteasers to". Excellent ice breaker.

NiceandCalm Tue 20-Oct-20 06:36:26

grin grin at replies whilst looking for my spade and net.

FippertyGibbett Tue 20-Oct-20 06:39:47

Would you consider a man from Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland, or does he have to be English ?

JorisBonson Tue 20-Oct-20 06:40:16

raddledoldmisanthropist

*As a foreign woman*

I'm from foreignia originally too. Don't you miss the pasta/curry/tacos/borscht/crepes? And the lovely rolling hills/dessert/tropical beaches/elephants/traffic?

Dying 😂😂

TheEmpressOfUtterBastardry Tue 20-Oct-20 06:40:52

Sorry OP but it's not possible as they are all taken.

BobbinThreadbare123 Tue 20-Oct-20 06:47:54

Get yourself up to Cumbria. One of them will club you and drag you back to his cave by the hair. This is a lot less work for you.

bibbitybobbitycats Tue 20-Oct-20 06:50:04

Wear a football strip and eau-de-lager.

FurTeacup Tue 20-Oct-20 06:50:28

I used to lasso them when I first arrived from overseas on my English Manhunt, but I kept being knocked over by other foreigners’ boomerangs, or Frenchwomen trapping them with Gauloise-scented strings of onions.

crankysaurus Tue 20-Oct-20 06:54:36

Stealth. Lots of stealth, and good running shoes.

emmetgirl Tue 20-Oct-20 07:01:37

@GetYourGoatYouHavePulled
I nearly wet myself! wink

Artforartssake Tue 20-Oct-20 07:03:42

Lurk near the gentlemen's relish and bath oliver display at Fortnum's? But check they didn't go to Eton before you pounce ... .

DorisDaisyMay Tue 20-Oct-20 07:08:02

I followed the angel feathers right up to his door.

LunaNorth Tue 20-Oct-20 07:09:35

Stun gun.

TheAugury Tue 20-Oct-20 07:10:44

I'm just here for the replies 😂

Disappointedkoala Tue 20-Oct-20 07:12:15

Always have a freshly poured pint and a meat pie about your person. They can't resist.

ShebaShimmyShake Tue 20-Oct-20 07:14:57

Upturned laundry basket, propped up with a stick and string tied to it. Place bacon under the basket, hide nearby, pull string at right moment.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in