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To feel like crap because of this message I recieved

(24 Posts)
TheLobster Mon 19-Oct-20 20:29:47

There is an event I go to sometimes that is paid in cash on arrival. Apparently at the last event someone did not pay and as the event organizer couldn't make it last time she was messaging people trying to figure who was it that didn't pay.

But this event app is absolute crap and never notifies me when I get a message so I didn't see it. After a few days she messages me again calling me rude for not responding to her.

Again the app didn't notify me but luckily I checked my messages as I wanted to message someone through the app and I saw it. I explained to her that I paid and that I wasn't purposefully being rude just that I didn't get a message notification so hopefully she understands now.

I understand from her perspective it seemed like I was ignoring her, but I'm still sitting here feeling like absolute crap for being called rude when I've done nothing wrong!

OP’s posts: |
LadyWithLapdog Mon 19-Oct-20 20:33:04

She’s not worth it. Call her all the names under the sun (not in writing!) and move on. Watch some cute cat videos or something else to distract you.

flaviaritt Mon 19-Oct-20 20:33:55

Not sure why it should make you feel like crap. Annoyed, yes. You weren’t rude and you paid. I would just point this out to her and not go again if she keeps on about it.

Arthersleep Mon 19-Oct-20 21:07:43

I think that's very rude of her to assume that you were ignoring her, rather than consider the possibility that you hadn't seen her message. I think that says more about her own character than yours. If it's a regular event, why not just ask everyone the next time that they go?

Cocomarine Mon 19-Oct-20 21:14:26

What did she say?

Audreyseyebrows Mon 19-Oct-20 21:16:06

It’s a non thing. Move on.

TheNestedIf Mon 19-Oct-20 21:18:58

"I did pay. Hopefully, when you find out who it was and get them to pay their fee, you'll be able to afford some better IT." [rude finger]

AtrociousCircumstance Mon 19-Oct-20 21:22:35

Yes she was rude and inappropriate. Very irritating.

HappyDays10101 Mon 19-Oct-20 21:39:33

Surely indignant would be more appropriate than rude? It’s not you, it’s her.

Choccylips Mon 19-Oct-20 22:02:43

Don't read to much into it she probably got frustrated about you not replying without waiting for your response and is maybe to embarrassed to apologise. You could always send a message saying this app is rubbish I still haven't received your apology.

MachoSavsge Mon 19-Oct-20 22:14:04

Complete non event. Don’t give it anymore headspace

NRatched Mon 19-Oct-20 22:27:04

Yeah she was rude. But just try to forget it really, not a big deal. I understand feeling bad about it, but its her that was rude, you did nothing wrong here, so please try not to be hard on yourself..

LisaLee333 Mon 19-Oct-20 22:30:22


Feck that for a game of soldiers. What a manipulative, attention-seeking, drama queen. FGS, don't let this take up any more of your time or energy. She sounds bloody awful, and you sound very sensitive and like a lovely person, and you are worth WAY better than this!!!

I would block and delete her, and never bother with this 'event' again!

TheLobster Mon 19-Oct-20 22:45:40

Thanks for everyone to replied, I thought she was being rude too so glad to see people agree. But I also know that from her perspective I seemed rude for not replying.

OP’s posts: |
TheLobster Mon 19-Oct-20 22:46:00

Who replied*

OP’s posts: |
AibuTellMe Tue 20-Oct-20 01:06:18

You are too kind OP. Don't feel bad you did nothing wrong.

Angelina82 Tue 20-Oct-20 03:31:10

She’s the rude one for calling you rude when there could have been a million reasons for you not responding to her message. You need to consider why this one small event has made you feel so shitty though. I would feel pissed off at her, let her know I was pissed off with her and then move on. It’s really no biggie.

redcarbluecar Tue 20-Oct-20 03:40:17

You did nothing wrong, so this is her problem. Perhaps she’s unusually stressed or something like that. Hope you can put it behind you.

Sparticuscaticus Tue 20-Oct-20 03:57:11

She messaged you and everyone else , as someone hadn't paid despite booking/attending event
-Others replied you didn't see it
- She thought you were probably the one that hadn't paid and as you didn't reply , called you rude

It was a misunderstanding because you didn't see her message nor were expecting one and you had no notifications from the app nor reason to look st it this week

You've explained , she probably feels bit awkward for calling you rude and the tone of her previous message
(Maybe she gets tired of chasing CFs and you caught the unfair flack )

Hold your head up high but also
-click on your phones settings-
- then notifications
- Turn the notifications on for the app
- Job done

- send message that's so polite she will feel worse about her reactive message
"Dear Organizer, I've found notifications settings on My phone and turned them on so I won't miss another urgent message from you as I don't check app daily. I hope you've found the naughty person who didn't pay, apologies I hadn't known you sent 2 days prjor
, Kind Regards ,

hopefully you'll get a nicer (almost regretful) email reply from her. (--If she doesnt reply within 2 days send her an email calling her rude--!! grinwink) (don't really do that!!) (but bet you smiled now)

Graciebobcat Tue 20-Oct-20 04:24:10

She sounds rather petty and aggressive. It reminds me of a situation I had with a yoga teacher, of all people. I used to pay for her classes via her website and I think she was somewhat disorganised as twice she accused me of not having paid, then had to apologise when she checked her records. After the second time, I decided not to go to her classes any more, which is a shame as they were actually quite good, but yoga is supposed to be calming for the mind, and I found myself worrying that I was going to be accused of coming along for free again. She seemed to have got in into her head that I was someone who was trying to get away with not paying. My other teacher is an oasis of calm, lovely and much more organised.

Cocomarine Tue 20-Oct-20 11:46:02

You still haven’t said what she actually said. Did she use the word rude?

EveryDayIsADuvetDay Tue 20-Oct-20 11:54:08

She was being rude, and moreover if she is organising classes that she charges for, she should do it in a professional manner - eg use eventbrite/design my night type apps.
Given that she's not running the classes in a professional manner, she'd probably do better by forgetting the missed payment, rather than hacking off all of her customers that did pay by chasing aggressively.
At best, a chase message should be "Hi, X, I wondered if you'd seen my email of...."

ikeptgoing Thu 22-Oct-20 08:37:26


You still haven’t said what she actually said. Did she use the word rude?

I think that's what rest of us are wondering

wheelywheelynice Thu 22-Oct-20 08:41:51

Non event. Toughen up a little.

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