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AIBU?

AIBU to not want give my bf a blowjob whilst he watches other women on TV

118 replies

MirkleMe · 01/10/2020 14:00

This is not ok is it?

I've suspected he's been watching women on TV whilst we were having sex before but last night he literally asked for a blowjob when someone he fancied appeared on TV.

So basically he wants me to suck him off while he watches this other woman.

I haven't raised this with him because I know he will deny it and call me crazy.

This isn't normal is it?

It makes me feel like I'm not good enough to turn him on. I also feel used. Am I overacting and this is just something some men like to do?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

760 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
5%
You are NOT being unreasonable
95%
Dozer · 01/10/2020 14:02

Urgh. How disrespectful!

Presume he’s got a porn habit.

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nimbuscloud · 01/10/2020 14:02

I’d be gone for good

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Dozer · 01/10/2020 14:03

What do you mean ‘suspected’ he was watching TV othertimes: ‘virtual’ sex?

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D4rwin · 01/10/2020 14:03

If you're not comfortable with it. Then obviously it's not OK, saying no is always an option. That you "know he will call you crazy" is a far bigger concern. Look for a partner who you can have an open conversation with.
Whether it's normal or not it might be ok to some. But you don't have to be ok with it.

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nimbuscloud · 01/10/2020 14:04

Have you been together long?

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DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 01/10/2020 14:04

He isn't really being unreasonable to ask for something that turns him on, you're definitely not unreasonable to say no if its not your thing.

What is concerning is that you're having sex with someone who you cant bring issues up with because he will call you crazy. That's a massive concern, you need open communication and respect and boundaries in a relationship, and you have none of those things.

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CarolVordermansBum · 01/10/2020 14:04

Ask him to go down on you whilst you are watching your celebrity crush on TV and see how he feels! Very disrespectful, i would feel very hurt in your shoes.

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MarkRuffaloCrumble · 01/10/2020 14:07

I haven't raised this with him because I know he will deny it and call me crazy.

Regardless of whether his request is a bit icky (it is) this is a worry. Does he often call you crazy and disregard your feelings? That in itself is an issue. Of course he can deny it, but the appropriate response to that is to laugh and go “oh my god no, I was just remembering xyz and I hoped you’d do it” rather than getting cross about the accusation and say you’re crazy for thinking that. You’ve put the elements together and made an understandable deduction.

Personally I wouldn’t be wasting my energy doing that so that he could be distracted by the TV, regardless of who was on it!

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FourPlasticRings · 01/10/2020 14:08

So he's utterly disrespectful and gaslights you to boot?

Hills are that way >>>>>>>>>

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JFDI2019 · 01/10/2020 14:09

That is so grim, and such a turn off.

I haven't raised this with him because I know he will deny it and call me crazy.

This statement makes me think he neither values or respects you.

And your question about is this just something some men like to do? I'm sure it is. But none of them would be getting within spitting distance of me.

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Clymene · 01/10/2020 14:10

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

He isn't really being unreasonable to ask for something that turns him on, you're definitely not unreasonable to say no if its not your thing.

What is concerning is that you're having sex with someone who you cant bring issues up with because he will call you crazy. That's a massive concern, you need open communication and respect and boundaries in a relationship, and you have none of those things.

You know it's really not okay to ask your girlfriend to suck your cock while you watch another woman on telly.
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contrmary · 01/10/2020 14:11

Some men like this. Kind of like if porn was virtual reality, this is a sort of augmented reality. But if you're not into it and don't want to do it, don't.

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DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 01/10/2020 14:13

You know it's really not okay to ask your girlfriend to suck your cock while you watch another woman on telly.

You know some couples like that sort of thing right? Confused

OP needs to discuss this with him so they both know their boundaries.

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Anordinarymum · 01/10/2020 14:15

He's using you OP. What are you getting out of it ?

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BubblyBarbara · 01/10/2020 14:37

Ask him to go down on you whilst you are watching your celebrity crush on TV and see how he feels!

I wouldn't. You might not like the answer. I think a man would engage in anything sexual even if you were on your phone posting on MN.

BJs are disgusting anyway. Maybe something you'd do in the lustful part of a relationship but do you really want to suck on some rancid old body part of someone you later go shopping at IKEA with. No thanks.

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12309845653ghydrvj · 01/10/2020 14:40

Clearly your not comfortable with it, so draw a boundary and say it would not be cool with you. I definitely wouldn’t be up for it, but I’m sure plenty of people would be. It doesn’t sound like a mutual fantasy—have you ever watched porn together, or where is this coming from? Do you think he needs to watch porn simultaneously to enjoy himself?

If him watching other people makes you uncomfortable, maybe you should try using a mirror instead? 🙈🙈🙈

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12309845653ghydrvj · 01/10/2020 14:43

*you’re

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LastGoldenDaysOfSummer · 01/10/2020 14:43

Tell him to buy a blow up doll.

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ClementineWoolysocks · 01/10/2020 14:43

I've suspected he's been watching women on TV whilst we were having sex before but last night he literally asked for a blowjob when someone he fancied appeared on TV

Are we talking porn channels here or is he very turned on by Tracy Barlow?
Anything in the vast arena of sex can be not ok if you're not ok with it.
You don't have to go along with anything you don't feel comfortable with.
Leaving sex aside, it's worrying that you feel you can't discuss this with him. I'd have a serious think about what you're getting from this relationship tbh.

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iklboo · 01/10/2020 14:43

BJs are disgusting anyway. Maybe something you'd do in the lustful part of a relationship but do you really want to suck on some rancid old body part of someone you later go shopping at IKEA with. No thanks.

Each to their own.

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ClementineWoolysocks · 01/10/2020 14:44

BJs are disgusting anyway. Maybe something you'd do in the lustful part of a relationship but do you really want to suck on some rancid old body part of someone you later go shopping at IKEA with. No thanks

You really do talk a load of old tripe.

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MushyMushi · 01/10/2020 14:46

BJs are disgusting anyway.

Not to the overwhelming majority, they aren’t.

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BubblyBarbara · 01/10/2020 14:46

When you think about that he wees out of there it's just eugh Confused

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Imbc · 01/10/2020 14:53

@BubblyBarbara most sexual things involve body parts (or nearby ones) that someone wees out of Confused

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MarkRuffaloCrumble · 01/10/2020 14:58

Barbara most people wash it though. “Rancid” is not a good look on anyone. Confused

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