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AIBU to not want give my bf a blowjob whilst he watches other women on TV

(119 Posts)
MirkleMe Thu 01-Oct-20 14:00:53

This is not ok is it?

I've suspected he's been watching women on TV whilst we were having sex before but last night he literally asked for a blowjob when someone he fancied appeared on TV.

So basically he wants me to suck him off while he watches this other woman.

I haven't raised this with him because I know he will deny it and call me crazy.

This isn't normal is it?

It makes me feel like I'm not good enough to turn him on. I also feel used. Am I overacting and this is just something some men like to do?

OP’s posts: |
Dozer Thu 01-Oct-20 14:02:46

Urgh. How disrespectful!

Presume he’s got a porn habit.

nimbuscloud Thu 01-Oct-20 14:02:58

I’d be gone for good

Dozer Thu 01-Oct-20 14:03:26

What do you mean ‘suspected’ he was watching TV othertimes: ‘virtual’ sex?

D4rwin Thu 01-Oct-20 14:03:45

If you're not comfortable with it. Then obviously it's not OK, saying no is always an option. That you "know he will call you crazy" is a far bigger concern. Look for a partner who you can have an open conversation with.
Whether it's normal or not it might be ok to some. But you don't have to be ok with it.

nimbuscloud Thu 01-Oct-20 14:04:45

Have you been together long?

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Thu 01-Oct-20 14:04:50

He isn't really being unreasonable to ask for something that turns him on, you're definitely not unreasonable to say no if its not your thing.

What is concerning is that you're having sex with someone who you cant bring issues up with because he will call you crazy. That's a massive concern, you need open communication and respect and boundaries in a relationship, and you have none of those things.

CarolVordermansBum Thu 01-Oct-20 14:04:52

Ask him to go down on you whilst you are watching your celebrity crush on TV and see how he feels! Very disrespectful, i would feel very hurt in your shoes.

MarkRuffaloCrumble Thu 01-Oct-20 14:07:17

I haven't raised this with him because I know he will deny it and call me crazy.

Regardless of whether his request is a bit icky (it is) this is a worry. Does he often call you crazy and disregard your feelings? That in itself is an issue. Of course he can deny it, but the appropriate response to that is to laugh and go “oh my god no, I was just remembering xyz and I hoped you’d do it” rather than getting cross about the accusation and say you’re crazy for thinking that. You’ve put the elements together and made an understandable deduction.

Personally I wouldn’t be wasting my energy doing that so that he could be distracted by the TV, regardless of who was on it!

FourPlasticRings Thu 01-Oct-20 14:08:41

So he's utterly disrespectful and gaslights you to boot?

Hills are that way >>>>>>>>>

JFDI2019 Thu 01-Oct-20 14:09:15

That is so grim, and such a turn off.

I haven't raised this with him because I know he will deny it and call me crazy.

This statement makes me think he neither values or respects you.

And your question about is this just something some men like to do? I'm sure it is. But none of them would be getting within spitting distance of me.

Clymene Thu 01-Oct-20 14:10:30

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

He isn't really being unreasonable to ask for something that turns him on, you're definitely not unreasonable to say no if its not your thing.

What is concerning is that you're having sex with someone who you cant bring issues up with because he will call you crazy. That's a massive concern, you need open communication and respect and boundaries in a relationship, and you have none of those things.


You know it's really not okay to ask your girlfriend to suck your cock while you watch another woman on telly.

contrmary Thu 01-Oct-20 14:11:28

Some men like this. Kind of like if porn was virtual reality, this is a sort of augmented reality. But if you're not into it and don't want to do it, don't.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Thu 01-Oct-20 14:13:09

You know it's really not okay to ask your girlfriend to suck your cock while you watch another woman on telly.

You know some couples like that sort of thing right? confused

OP needs to discuss this with him so they both know their boundaries.

Anordinarymum Thu 01-Oct-20 14:15:12

He's using you OP. What are you getting out of it ?

BubblyBarbara Thu 01-Oct-20 14:37:57

Ask him to go down on you whilst you are watching your celebrity crush on TV and see how he feels!

I wouldn't. You might not like the answer. I think a man would engage in anything sexual even if you were on your phone posting on MN.

BJs are disgusting anyway. Maybe something you'd do in the lustful part of a relationship but do you really want to suck on some rancid old body part of someone you later go shopping at IKEA with. No thanks.

12309845653ghydrvj Thu 01-Oct-20 14:40:18

Clearly your not comfortable with it, so draw a boundary and say it would not be cool with you. I definitely wouldn’t be up for it, but I’m sure plenty of people would be. It doesn’t sound like a mutual fantasy—have you ever watched porn together, or where is this coming from? Do you think he needs to watch porn simultaneously to enjoy himself?

If him watching other people makes you uncomfortable, maybe you should try using a mirror instead? 🙈🙈🙈

12309845653ghydrvj Thu 01-Oct-20 14:43:35

*you’re

LastGoldenDaysOfSummer Thu 01-Oct-20 14:43:36

Tell him to buy a blow up doll.

ClementineWoolysocks Thu 01-Oct-20 14:43:47

I've suspected he's been watching women on TV whilst we were having sex before but last night he literally asked for a blowjob when someone he fancied appeared on TV

Are we talking porn channels here or is he very turned on by Tracy Barlow?
Anything in the vast arena of sex can be not ok if you're not ok with it.
You don't have to go along with anything you don't feel comfortable with.
Leaving sex aside, it's worrying that you feel you can't discuss this with him. I'd have a serious think about what you're getting from this relationship tbh.

iklboo Thu 01-Oct-20 14:43:54

* BJs are disgusting anyway. Maybe something you'd do in the lustful part of a relationship but do you really want to suck on some rancid old body part of someone you later go shopping at IKEA with. No thanks.*

Each to their own.

ClementineWoolysocks Thu 01-Oct-20 14:44:59

BJs are disgusting anyway. Maybe something you'd do in the lustful part of a relationship but do you really want to suck on some rancid old body part of someone you later go shopping at IKEA with. No thanks

You really do talk a load of old tripe.

MushyMushi Thu 01-Oct-20 14:46:14

* BJs are disgusting anyway.*

Not to the overwhelming majority, they aren’t.

BubblyBarbara Thu 01-Oct-20 14:46:56

When you think about that he wees out of there it's just eugh confused

Imbc Thu 01-Oct-20 14:53:09

@BubblyBarbara most sexual things involve body parts (or nearby ones) that someone wees out of confused

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