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AIBU?

AIBU to think a job is a job at the moment and to take what you can get for now?

167 replies

LastGoldenDaysOfSummer · 01/10/2020 11:47

Friend's grandson has been applying for jobs since May. He graduated with a 2:2 in June. He hasn't even been offered an interview for his field, which isn't surprising with the Covid Effect.

His mum is a single parent in a low paid job but he is refusing to give her any money from his benefits. He is always complaining about not having any money and tries to borrow from the rest of the family.

My friend knows someone who runs a nursing home and she has offered him weekend shifts in the kitchen and laundry. He says it's beneath him. His mum said it was just to help out until he got a job he wanted. Huge row and she has said that if he doesn't start contributing he will have to leave because she can't afford to keep him and his siblings.

My friend is panicking because she's afraid he'll turn up in her doorstep.

AIBUto think he should take the shifts for now and keep trying for another job?

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Am I being unreasonable?

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Graphista · 01/10/2020 11:59

You're right of course.

Your friend shouldn't be worrying about him turning up on her doorstep as all she need do is send him back to mum with a flea in his ear about not being a lazy, entitled spoilt brat!

A 2:2 isn't even that good a degree mark! What subject?

Graduates have LONG before covid struggled to get their first job after graduating unless its in a vocational field like medicine.

He needs to get over himself and stop being a selfish little twat!

But then I'm guessing his mother until now hasn't exactly made clear to him how NOT to an entitled little idiot?

My dd left school "early" (long story) and worked for a few years while still living at home, if she'd not been able to get a job she'd have claimed benefits and either way totally understood she'd need to contribute something as she knows she doesn't live on fresh air! That it costs to feed, house and heat her!

If the gran isn't wanting to be confrontational she could simply say something like "you can stay here but the rent is £x" because I doubt she can afford to support him either from her panicking!

I hold 2 degrees, I've done all sorts of jobs before and since gaining those degrees including retail, factory production line, basic hospitality jobs...

You do what you need to in order to earn your way whenever you can

I'm unemployed now due to ill health and I hate it I'd much rather be working!

He needs to grow up!

Did he work while studying or did mum sub him?

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LastGoldenDaysOfSummer · 01/10/2020 12:19

Thanks.

His degree is in Economics with something like Business Studies. He worked intermittently while at university. Bar work, mainly. he won't even look for something in a pub. I'm seething on his Mum's behalf. She's struggled to being up her DCs with precious little support from their father. He expected her to send him cash regularly but she had to stop when her hours were cut.

Good idea for Gran to tell him the rent up front.

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Camomila · 01/10/2020 12:27

DH graduated with a 2.2 in Economics in the last recession. He worked in Starbucks for a year after.
My friends and I all got 2.1s and 1sts in 'sensible' subjects, our first jobs were in Sainsburies, M&S, and after school tutoring.

(basically I agree with you!)

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Graphista · 01/10/2020 12:30

Sorry you're not getting more replies!

Economics is very broad as is business studies and its definitely an area employers will expect him to have real life experience too

No employer will employ anyone who is apparently workshy or with a massive chip on their shoulder!

Graduates may have more paper qualifications but they are still to all intents and purposes entry level applicants

And as I said a 2:2 ain't all that! (And I say that as someone who got a 2:2 themselves in my first degree!) it signifies someone who "coasted but is bright" generally speaking

He seriously needs to get over himself!

Good on his mum for finally making a stand!

My dd is back studying again, she has one part time job (retail) and is looking for another in all sectors - she's applied for retail, hospitality, care work, farm work...

But as she has pointed out to me there are close on 1000 applicants per vacancy according to the ticker things on the websites

There's been 100,000's of redundancies due to covid - including people who will not only be graduates but qualifies to postgraduate levels AND with experience and great references! That's who he's up against!

There's been several threads on here by people made redundant in recent times who are qualified and experienced up to the eyeballs shocked and worried that they're unable to find work.

It's going to be even worse In January with Brexit so he really needs to get a shift on!

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Graphista · 01/10/2020 12:33

My first degree would skew things as it was nursing so I went straight into a nursing job, but my 2nd degree was in English and my first job after was as a sales assistant for high street retailer, was in that job about 18 months until I found one that used my degree - and that was just prior to the 2008 crash, the job market hasn't really recovered since then

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caringcarer · 01/10/2020 12:37

He sounds an entitled little shit. Of course he should take any job he can get and pay his Mum keep for his food.

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Poppingnostopping · 01/10/2020 12:48

Twenty years ago, a 2:2 was an ok degree, it was what most people got. That isn't the case now and with a 2:2 in business, he's not going to waltz into top graduate jobs, many of those schemes have cut back anyway. His best bet is to start somewhere and quickly work up or move sideways and work up that way. His qualifications will still help with that, but ultimately they aren't going to dazzle anyone and he needs to eat!

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LastGoldenDaysOfSummer · 01/10/2020 12:52

Thanks for the replies.

He is indeed an entitled little shit, sadly.

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Sickoffamilydrama · 01/10/2020 12:56

Agree with everyone else he needs to learn to "play the game" like everyone else. It's also so much easier to get a job if you already have one.

My DBro is similar he's to good for most jobs and when he does have one expects a promotion or more power instantly. Unfortunately he hasn't even got any higher education and just expected to walk into a high paid job straight from school. Make your friend aware some people are beyond help or expect the world on a plate.

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Zoecarter · 01/10/2020 13:02

He will be hard pressed to get on any graduate schemes with a 2:2.

I had a 2:1 but graduated in a recession so didn’t get a job in my field. Luckily I had a job threw uni in a financial institution so I got on a highly sought after graduate scheme. The longer he is unemployed the longer he will find it to get In to employment.

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CakeRequired · 01/10/2020 13:04

He won't get any graduate job with a 2.2. They look for 2.1 at minimum generally. Masters is better realistically.

He's going to have to get over himself and get any job.

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Stopyourhavering64 · 01/10/2020 13:07

My Dd graduated with a first in a business related degree last year and is currently working in Tesco as e commerce shopper - admittedly she went travelling after graduation , and initially didn't want job in her degree subject but is definitely not work shy and is now applying for graduate schemes
He needs to grab whatever job he can at the moment as the graduate job market is saturated, with 1000's applying for graduate schemes and a 2:2 just won't cut it if he has no work experience of any kind behind him

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OfUselessBooks · 01/10/2020 13:07

Yes absolutely. I have an interview for a job next week. I really don't want to do it. But it's a good job and I think I stand a good chance of getting it. Right now, anyone is lucky to be offered a job.

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SqidgeBum · 01/10/2020 13:07

Of course he should take the job! I had a 2.1 degree and a first in a masters from very prestigious universities, but I worked at New Look until I was able to get my first job (teaching). I worked in retail throughout my university years, even at one point serving students from my placement school! I tell my students about how I worked in retail to illustrate to them that everyone has to start somewhere and never think that a job is below them. My DH decided to leave his teaching job and he took a job in a factory on the production line to bring in money until he started a new (and better paid) job 4 months later.

No job is 'beneath' someone who isnt working. He is a selfish, spoiled boy who hasnt realised he is now a grown man and needs to buck up and take what he is given. He is going to get a shock when he realises he is still at the bottom of the ladder as the vast majority have a degree, so they hold very little value. He needs to work his way up no matter what degree he has.

If he was my kid, I would cut him off and let him figure things out himself.

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Asterion · 01/10/2020 13:09

It's not even pure Economics then? A 2:2 is pretty poor. It sounds like he's not planning to work any harder now than he did at university!

And he's competing with people who did work hard...

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TazMac · 01/10/2020 13:11

@Poppingnostopping

Agree. Degrees have been down valued. A 2:2 is more like a 3rd in old money, particularly if it’s from a non Russell Group Uni.

He is really unlikely to get on a grad scheme with that degree, even pre pandemic. He needs to take anything to show he has a work ethic and look at entry level, including apprentice roles.

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mypetEufy · 01/10/2020 13:15

Can't help but wonder what his lot would have been if he had been born middle class.

His parents' contacts would have probably scored him a nice little job. Or they'd have searched out, and would be funding a lovely internship somewhere; possibly paying for his rent in a different town and spotting him a healthy allowance.

No one in his family would be clamouring for a share of his £58.90 per week to pay the rent and support his younger siblings, there would be no question of his taking up a job in the laundry or kitchen of a care home, and his grandmother wouldn't be 'panicking' because she's afraid her own grandson, who has spent the last 5 months applying for jobs, might turn up in her doorstep.

Poor kid.

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contrmary · 01/10/2020 13:16

Most graduates don't go straight into a job that is worthy of them - many of us struggle for years and still haven't found a job in our field, so we have to take what we can get.

I don't blame the grandson entirely though. All through my school and university years I was told that hard work brings success and will help you get a job you enjoy. That, for the most part, is utter bollocks. Work hard and you might be able to get a slightly better job than the person who didn't work hard.

(A 2:2 is perfectly acceptable for most employers by the way, even a third class degree shows that someone is capable of learning their subject.)

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TazMac · 01/10/2020 13:20

@mypetEufy

His family contacts have found him a job. He thinks it’s beneath him though.

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IWantThatName · 01/10/2020 13:22

My DD graduated in July with a 1st in the social sciences area.
She's got an office job paying minimum wage, and we couldn't be happier!

Funnily enough when her sibling graduated 4 years ago, they wouldn't even consider jobs under £20K ("because I've got a degree"). How times have changed.

Friend's grandson really needs to get his brain in gear and check his attitude. Unless he's depressed. In which case, he needs help.

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Graphista · 01/10/2020 13:27

Poor kid? He's a grown ass man of at least 21 years of age!

Yes the upper middle class might through their privilege be able to indulge their adult children, the working class have NEVER had that luxury!

My parents and grandparents all left school before 16 in order to work and earn and contribute to their families, I left school at 16 going to uni as a mature, independent student

And yes his contacts HAVE found him a job! He needs a reality check!

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SunbathingDragon · 01/10/2020 13:31

YANBU. My normal job is not really happening compared to usual right now. Luckily I still have a bank contract to fall back on which is full of work thanks to covid. So rather than doing a bank shift a few times a year to keep my hand in, it’s looking to be the other way round for me right now. Just as well I have both jobs. Lots of people can’t afford to be fussy right now.

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Leaannb · 01/10/2020 13:32

@mypetEufy

Can't help but wonder what his lot would have been if he had been born middle class.

His parents' contacts would have probably scored him a nice little job. Or they'd have searched out, and would be funding a lovely internship somewhere; possibly paying for his rent in a different town and spotting him a healthy allowance.

No one in his family would be clamouring for a share of his £58.90 per week to pay the rent and support his younger siblings, there would be no question of his taking up a job in the laundry or kitchen of a care home, and his grandmother wouldn't be 'panicking' because she's afraid her own grandson, who has spent the last 5 months applying for jobs, might turn up in her doorstep.

Poor kid.

Poor kid? How about a lazy kid who has pissed away his opportunities. Went to Uni and only got 2:2 so.wasted his mother's time and money that could have been used on the sibikings and is now being a money sucking leech refusing to work.
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Hargao · 01/10/2020 13:32

@Poppingnostopping

Twenty years ago, a 2:2 was an ok degree, it was what most people got. That isn't the case now and with a 2:2 in business, he's not going to waltz into top graduate jobs, many of those schemes have cut back anyway. His best bet is to start somewhere and quickly work up or move sideways and work up that way. His qualifications will still help with that, but ultimately they aren't going to dazzle anyone and he needs to eat!

I graduated 20 years ago - a 2.2 was not an ok degree then. It closed a lot of doors.
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C8H10N4O2 · 01/10/2020 13:33

Poor kid

His connections have found him a job, he doesn't want it. He does want to sponge off his low income mother.

Yes if he were born into affluence his life might be easier but he isn't and never will be better off if he doesn't engage with the world of work. Most of his peers will be taking any job they can get at the moment and at least building up an employment record and work references.

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