Talk

Advanced search

to cry after sex

(57 Posts)
user780143 Wed 30-Sep-20 21:03:37

Have a good relationship with DH, but for the past 6 months or so whenever we have sex I end up crying after and I don't know why.
Im not a crier usually. Why is this happening?

OP’s posts: |
SquirtleSquad Wed 30-Sep-20 21:04:20

What feeling accompanied the crying?

user1473878824 Wed 30-Sep-20 21:06:37

Well, I guess the question is is it just random crying like “weird, I’m crying” or are you feeling sad?

MissConductUS Wed 30-Sep-20 21:07:15

It's not that unusual and can have many causes. I'd guess hormones are the most common if you're not feeling really sad at the same time.

www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/crying-after-sex

user780143 Wed 30-Sep-20 21:08:21

SquirtleSquad

What feeling accompanied the crying?

Sadness

OP’s posts: |
user1473878824 Wed 30-Sep-20 21:08:51

This may sound very stupid but do you know why you feel sad? Is it a general feeling or can you pinpoint why?

user1487194234 Wed 30-Sep-20 21:09:46

With my first boyfriend many moons ago I used to cry after sex as I was so happy and thought we were soul mates
We weren't grinbut it was good while it lasted !

user780143 Wed 30-Sep-20 21:11:04

user1473878824

This may sound very stupid but do you know why you feel sad? Is it a general feeling or can you pinpoint why?

No I don't know why I feel sad, I don't feel sad at any other time

OP’s posts: |
SideAfries Wed 30-Sep-20 21:13:28

Following!
I feel like this after sex too! Sad & sometimes cry. Haven’t always, & not every time! It’s weird? I don’t know if it’s hormones or a mental thing?!

user1473878824 Wed 30-Sep-20 21:15:22

It does sound like it could be hormonal? I’m sorry OP, this sounds very hard x

JovialNickname Wed 30-Sep-20 21:16:19

Does it feel like "release" sadness? Like a great relief of letting go, a kind of catharsis?

Or do you just feel very low and very sad?

And how is your partner with you during these times, does he lie with you and hold you and reassure you, or does he leave you on your own? I think all these things are important.

user780143 Wed 30-Sep-20 21:19:46

JovialNickname

Does it feel like "release" sadness? Like a great relief of letting go, a kind of catharsis?

Or do you just feel very low and very sad?

And how is your partner with you during these times, does he lie with you and hold you and reassure you, or does he leave you on your own? I think all these things are important.

Yeah it feels like a release sadness. My DH stays with me and holds me.

OP’s posts: |
NancyBotwinBloom Wed 30-Sep-20 21:20:29

I think it's like a rush of emotion from being so intimate with someone you love

Peakypolly Wed 30-Sep-20 21:27:26

This is usual for me but I frequently cry when I feel ecstatic.
Holding my babies, seeing an amazing vista, achieving perfect results in an exam etc. I don't think this is unusual at all. Embrace the ecstasy.

CurlyhairedAssassin Wed 30-Sep-20 21:41:41

Crying with sadness doesn't sound much like a feeling of ecstasy, though. I would find it very disconcerting to be the sexual partner of someone who was crying with sadness after I'd had sex with them. In fact I think I would find it quite off-putting during future intimate times.

I take it you're fully up for it, happy and aroused and an equal partner when you start having sex, as well as all the way through?

Funguy Wed 30-Sep-20 21:42:11

You need only worry, if it is during.

category12 Wed 30-Sep-20 21:42:58

Are you happy in your relationship normally?

Needallthesleep Wed 30-Sep-20 21:44:33

This is so normal. I’m sure there’s even a name for it. I have it, definitely hormonal.

thistimelastweek Wed 30-Sep-20 21:45:16

La petit mort?

U2HasTheEdge Wed 30-Sep-20 21:46:06

I cry afterwards nine times after ten.

Always have done. It's a release of emotion I guess.

I didn't warn DH before we had sex for the first time and he got really worried. Now he just hugs me and waits for it to pass. I don't see it as a negative thing though. I guess I am just used to it.

user780143 Wed 30-Sep-20 21:46:23

category12

Are you happy in your relationship normally?

Very happy, nothing has changed in our relationship

OP’s posts: |
StoryOfANewName Wed 30-Sep-20 21:46:31

It’s a known thing with a name: post-coital tristesse.

www.insider.com/sad-after-sex-postcoital-tristesse-dysphoria-2018-8

I’m glad it sounds as if your husband is understanding. It must be confusing but maybe it helps to know it’s a known phenomenon flowers

CurlyhairedAssassin Wed 30-Sep-20 21:46:37

Does the crying happen with orgasm, out of interest? The hormones released during that should make you feel all lovely, warm and happy. Not sad enough to cry.

I'm no scientist, though, so perhaps it is a known phenomenon.

MinesAPintOfTea Wed 30-Sep-20 21:47:09

Is it related to relaxing and emotions being released? If I'm having a tough time, I cry when I get somewhere I feel safe, and its only at that point that the overwhelming sadness hits me. But I don't feel sad because I got to that safe place yswim.

Also, do you have any trauma which it might be helpful to get help dealing with?

WitsEnding Wed 30-Sep-20 21:49:25

Have been known to cry during sex just from the intensity of the emotion, luckily my current partner sometimes does too so he understands. Feeling sad after sex because the intimacy has evaporated is a different thing altogether.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in