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Trying until having a baby boy

(273 Posts)
TunMahla Mon 28-Sep-20 10:16:16

An acquaintance of mine basically kept trying to have a baby boy after having had only daughters previously (4 of them!). I personally find it shocking that there can be such a preference for male progeny in this day and age. Note, I am talking about clear preference for a boy, not trying for another child of a different gender.

YABU: it is normal to keep trying pregnancy after pregnancy to get a baby boy
YANBU: it is weird as hell to keep trying pregnancy after pregnancy to get a baby boy

OP’s posts: |
SnuggyBuggy Mon 28-Sep-20 10:17:56

I suppose it depends on how many kids you think you can manage.

CakeGirl2020 Mon 28-Sep-20 10:21:04

It’s madness and no not normal behaviour. I know someone that has 5 girls for this reason, never got the boy

SamsMumsCateracts Mon 28-Sep-20 10:25:44

Personally I find it odd. DH's parents kept going until they got a girl, after six boys.

Mintjulia Mon 28-Sep-20 10:26:04

That's a pretty personal decision but if both parents want to try again, it's their business.

When I was a kid, our gp's wife wanted a daughter but they gave up after 6 boys. smile

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 28-Sep-20 10:28:30

Not very fair on the girls they’ll get along the way.

SnuggyBuggy Mon 28-Sep-20 10:29:37

To be fair I imagine families where they have lots of boys until they get a girl must also exist.

Seagrassorchid Mon 28-Sep-20 10:30:54

I think it is mad but they obviously like children all the same because I personally could not of taken it that far to have the two genders. I actually know of more people who have done this for a girl than a boy.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Mon 28-Sep-20 10:31:59

Its not that unusual really, plenty of people keep having boys until they get a girl too.

innitbloodysuper Mon 28-Sep-20 10:32:22

My friend is like this. Said baby number 3 would be the last until it was announced she was expecting a girl. Now pregnant again with another girl, and will no doubt keep going until she has a boy. Personally I find it madness, but each to their own. Another friend has 4 boys but has now stopped as she found it too difficult emotionally wishing for a girl. Some people just aren't satisfied with a healthy baby sometimes.

CMOTDibbler Mon 28-Sep-20 10:32:39

I was at school with someone who had 8 brothers and one sister - who was the eldest. Her mum had kept on having children in the hope of another girl, and had eventually adopted this girl. They were all very much loved, and as she was the youngest by quite a way, doted on by the others

rooarsome Mon 28-Sep-20 10:32:53

I know someone who did this, only she had 4 boys and finally had a girl. It doesn't sit right with me, but it's none of my business 🤷🏻‍♀️

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER Mon 28-Sep-20 10:34:10

I always feel for the babies that are ‘wrong’.
I’ll never forget a birth announcement I once saw:

‘To X and Y, a fifth and final daughter.’
Just that, so sad. Poor little baby.

Twizbe Mon 28-Sep-20 10:35:30

I desperately wanted boys. My ideal family was 2 boys.

I was lucky in that DC1 is a boy. DC2 is a girl and I did have some disappointment when she was born. I adore her and did from the moment she was born but I did also have to grieve for the second son I didn't have.

Had I had 2 girls, I think I would have had a third in order to have a boy. I think I would have had to stop at 3 though.

Hardbackwriter Mon 28-Sep-20 10:35:59

I think it's pretty horrible but I'm not sure why you think it's a particular problem for it to be a boy they want? The 'gender disappointment' threads on MN are 95% about how disappointed they are to be having a boy and that's my anecdotal experience in real life, too, that girls are considerably favoured, so I don't think this is some epidemic of preferring boys or that it's inherently worse to be desperate for a boy compared to desperate for a girl (personally I struggle to find it hard to understand either, and I think a lot fewer people would have this 'problem' if they weren't so wedded to ridiculous gender stereotypes).

Frenzies Mon 28-Sep-20 10:36:25

Both of my sisters in law did this but with the sexes flipped -- they kept having babies until they had a girl, despite in one case having several miscarriages, complicated pregnancies and births, and being advised not to attempt another pregnancy. Two sons and then the wanted girl, and three sons and then the wanted girl, respectively.

I didn't give it a great deal of thought until I had what I knew would be my only child, and great commiserations came from both SILs that my only child had to be a boy, because they assumed I shared their extreme preference for a girl. I didn't.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss Mon 28-Sep-20 10:38:33

I always feel for the babies that are ‘wrong’

Me too. They will realise once older that’s what happened and I’d feel not good enough in that position.

ShebaShimmyShake Mon 28-Sep-20 10:39:44

When I realised that Mrs Weasley had obviously kept trying until she got a girl, it changed how I felt about her. (I don't think Arthur cared, but he never stood up to her over it and that annoyed me too.)

FourPlasticRings Mon 28-Sep-20 10:39:56

Not necessarily because of a preference for boys. Could be that they just want to raise both sexes for whatever reason. And there are some families that only have boys and keep trying for a girl.

Like the Weasleys in Harry Potter. Six boys and then they stopped when they got a girl. (I understand they're fictitious, but goes to show it's not exactly unheard of.)

FourPlasticRings Mon 28-Sep-20 10:40:24

Cross post @ShebaShimmyShake!

AndromedaPerseus Mon 28-Sep-20 10:41:13

Like the Beckhams

LEELULUMPKIN Mon 28-Sep-20 10:41:34

I wonder if this is the case with Coleen Rooney?

ShebaShimmyShake Mon 28-Sep-20 10:42:35

Jinx!

Fridaysgirl17 Mon 28-Sep-20 10:42:50

I have 2 boys,my baby was born 9 weeks ago and I've been asked/told multiple times I'll have to go again to get my girl,my reply every time is no I'm happy with my 2boys and I'm done,no more kids for us,but if people want to keep going that's there business,I find it sad and feel that they must not be happy with the children they have because of their gender,for me I kind of guessed I'd have boys as girls are few and far between in our family

SnuggyBuggy Mon 28-Sep-20 10:49:09

ShebaShimmyShake

When I realised that Mrs Weasley had obviously kept trying until she got a girl, it changed how I felt about her. (I don't think Arthur cared, but he never stood up to her over it and that annoyed me too.)

Definitely this, I don't think she gets called out enough on this by the Harry Potter fans. The irony was that she and Ginny didn't even seem to get on that well, I can imagine that's common too in these families, it's a lot of expectation to put on a child.

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