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AIBU?

To expect my reception age child to be doing at least a bit of 'work'?

198 replies

Hmmmmminteresting · 24/09/2020 20:44

I may have this wrong as he is my first born. But dc is in reception, prior to this he was at nursery post lockdown till end of Aug.
I wouldnt say he is particularly clever, but he enjoyed learning. He was very good at phonics, numbers and rhyming. He could do basic adding and subtraction up to 30 eg. He could do 27 take away 4 etc. Since he has started school he does nothing, they just play.
Don't get me wrong I am all for them doing this and would much rather they play than sat all day 'working'. But they are literally doing nothing. He keeps telling me its boring. I feel like he has taken 5 steps back.
I asked his teacher briefly if he was correct and she said yes, it's a transition from nursery to year 1 so its focused on play and not school work. I didnt push further but I've come away feeling really deflated.

Aibu to expect them to teach them something?!

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

406 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
75%
You are NOT being unreasonable
25%
Bergerdog · 24/09/2020 20:45

How long as he been in reception?

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Bluewavescrashing · 24/09/2020 20:46

I'm a primary teacher. Trust his teacher. They know how to teach your child.

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Gancanny · 24/09/2020 20:46

They do teach them but the EYFS curriculum is play based, so it may seem like they're playing but all of the play is rooted in education. At this stage of the term the staff will be observing in order to suss out where everyone is at, what their style is, and what sort of group dynamics they have going on. You'll find that as the school year progresses they will introduce more adult-led activities alongside the free play.

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HoneysuckIejasmine · 24/09/2020 20:47

He can do 27-4? I am not a primary teacher but I don't think that's normal standard for first few weeks of reception. He's quite far ahead imo.

For reference, my reception DD is learning how to form letters and recognise numerals and corresponding objects of the right amount.

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Waveysnail · 24/09/2020 20:47

Its play based learning. Reception is usually learning alphabet and counting to 20.

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Bluewavescrashing · 24/09/2020 20:49

Learning through play is extremely important in early years. Assuming he's just started school, there will be a gradual transition from child initiated to adult initiated learning. More formal phonics, reading, writing and maths learning will happen WHEN the children are ready. Some children will only have just turned 4.

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Oblomov20 · 24/09/2020 20:49

Reception is pitiful for a bright advanced child. It's all 'play'.

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LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE · 24/09/2020 20:49

We have just started Reception. So far we've had a reading book, a themed book bag and a literacy/numeracy pack up. I am expected to read with DS 3 x a week and work through cursive writing and a counting folder. Our school is quite intense!

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IncyWincyGrownUp · 24/09/2020 20:49

I’ll leave this to Mr Rogers.

To expect my reception age child to be doing at least a bit of 'work'?
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MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 24/09/2020 20:50

🙄 ignoring the humble brag..
Your child's teacher knows what they're doing. Reception is very much play based learning and your little gifted and talented cherub will have to crack on with it or get used to being bored.

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IncyWincyGrownUp · 24/09/2020 20:50

Trying again, as image didn’t load.

To expect my reception age child to be doing at least a bit of 'work'?
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Bluewavescrashing · 24/09/2020 20:51

As an outsider it looks like messing about but everything they do when they play is valuable for learning. Reaching up to gran ropes = building shoulder strength to get ready for writing. Crawling about building with bricks = getting strong enough to sit on a chair long enough to write a sentence. Etc.


Trust. The. Teachers.

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Embracelife · 24/09/2020 20:54

Send him to virtual kumon maths after school and let him play
get him virtual piano lessons after school
You can stretch in other ways

If he is truly gifted get him tested and look at other schools if you want academic
But learning to play is important too and it s still learning

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Nomorescreentime · 24/09/2020 20:54

Does he struggle with playing? How’s he getting on with his classmates, is he making friends? I think at this stage forming relationships in the class and using their imagination to be able to learn through play are both vital. More so than reading and maths I’d say.

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aidelmaidel · 24/09/2020 20:55

Ok, he's not doing brain work, but he ought to be learning about socialising, occupying himself quietly in a large group, and other useful things you learn by playing. I think often "boring" is bright-kid code for "I don't quite know what to do and I feel a bit out of my depth."

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SmellsLikeFeet · 24/09/2020 20:56

@Oblomov20

Reception is pitiful for a bright advanced child. It's all 'play'.

No it's not. Never underestimate social skills, you can introduce extended learning to most things
Trust the teachers
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Hmmmmminteresting · 24/09/2020 20:56

I can assure you there is no bragging involved. Until somebody said upthread that it sounded advanced I didnt realise. I have no comparison and he's been doing adding and subtraction for about a year. He was 4 in Jan. Genuinely didnt mean it to come across that way i thought that was basic for his age.
We have had 1 book sent home with no words in it, had to google that to see that was normal.
I'm very reassured that this is normal then, I just hope that his passion for the academic stuff doesn't disappear if he is finding it boring. He has lots of friends there and is settled. He has been there almost a month.

Im glad I asked, I will lay off his teacher Blush

OP posts:
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JamesTKirkcompatible · 24/09/2020 20:56

your little gifted and talented cherub will have to crack on with it or get used to being bored

You are being pretty mean to gifted and talented children here. Would you say that someone with SEN who had challenges in reading or someone with ADHD just had to suck up mainstream lessons and get used to being frustrated? If you are more advanced than the class it has huge impacts on your social and emotional development if it's not well handled. Some G&T teens have massive MH issues because of this kind of scornful attitude.

I have no idea whether OP's child is advanced in some areas or not, whether she is worrying unnecessarily, but it is possible for some 4 year olds to flourish better with access to more formal academic stimulus as well as with learning through play.

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trilbydoll · 24/09/2020 20:57

@Bluewavescrashing those two points are interesting, I know someone who works in a junior school and they have kids who are physically unable to sit in a chair all day because they don't have the core strength. My dd couldn't write much in Y1 because she complained her hands hurt too much. I took it for granted that their physical development would just happen automatically but it really doesn't!

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peakotter · 24/09/2020 20:57

YABU. The first few weeks at least are spent on transitioning, social skills and soft stuff. Even after that there is so much more to school than reading and maths.

In terms of what he already knows, I think you’re going to be very disappointed if you want them to push him. The teachers don’t know yet who is naturally bright and who has engaged/pushy parents. They can’t tell the difference between a child who isn’t academic and one who has never been taught. They will start everyone at the very beginning and split into groups later.

There’s no rush. Encourage him to talk about what he has learned in terms of skills, people and topics.

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Bluewavescrashing · 24/09/2020 20:58

I could weep. Teachers are so devalued in this country. If you could see what the year R staff in my school do... They make a massive difference.

OP your ignorance of the point of the early years foundation stage shows that you need educating first and foremost before you can support your child through this stage if their education.

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winterisstillcoming · 24/09/2020 20:59

So if your child is coming home thinking he played all day, and he is progressing both academically and in his personal development, then school is doing a grand job. He will be developing all the skills he needs to be a good learner, as well as learning. Things like listening skills, the vocabulary of learning, following instruction, learning stamina, speaking, paying attention, group dynamics, his place amongst his peers.....the list goes on.

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Hmmmmminteresting · 24/09/2020 20:59

@Nomorescreentime

Does he struggle with playing? How’s he getting on with his classmates, is he making friends? I think at this stage forming relationships in the class and using their imagination to be able to learn through play are both vital. More so than reading and maths I’d say.

Hes the opposite, very sociable. He has always had lots of friends and has had a few rewards for helping other children settle in at school that have been less confident.
I will see what the next few weeks bring then Smile
OP posts:
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Bluewavescrashing · 24/09/2020 21:00

@trilbydoll look at Kinetic Letters. Building physical strength in various areas of the body, in various ways is a prerequisite to successful handwriting.

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ithinkiveseenthisfilmbefore · 24/09/2020 21:02

TBH, most of the children I have seen that entered Reception reading, writing and doing maths well beyond that of their peers seriously lacked social skills.

Reception is play-based learning. It also allows them to develop appropriate social skills. Keep reading with your child and encourage him to make friends, play with others, etc.

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