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Called a guy out on a lie. Friends said I humiliated him. Did I?

(303 Posts)
Chairlove Thu 24-Sep-20 11:19:33

Met a guy OLD. On his profile Said he was 42, owned a cat and had a post grad degree. I am 39 and my profile is accurate and recent pictures. His pictures looked staged, but cute. Talked via text for a few weeks and seemed good banter.

We met last night. He looked older than his pictures and seemed to act older. Within 10 mins we were talking about my 40th and I wasn’t able to do what I planned. He then said he was 50! I questioned him on the age of his profile and he said it said he was 50. I disagreed and got his profile out to show him.

He didn’t look embarrassed and said it was a mistake. He then talked about a cat visiting him, I questioned it says he owned the cat. He said he didn’t and didn’t put that in his profile. Again got my phone out and showed him. I also questioned his pictures as now thinking on a different date.

He then says at least you know now for our second date. Getting annoyed I then got his profile out again and started to ask questions. No degree, not height he said etc. It was lies.

I finished my wine (I paid first round) and said sorry don’t want to see you again. He asks why, reply you lied! He said was a mistake. Still he lied, as the app asks you to confirm your age once you input it.

I left. Phoned my friend and they said I shouldn’t of got the app out to show him. Just leave. Said I humiliated him. I personally think he deserved it. Granted he was the third bad date in a row.

What do you think?

OP’s posts: |
ShirleyPhallus Thu 24-Sep-20 11:21:30

Good for you. Why on earth do men do this?! I’ve been on dates where men lied about their height, I think in the mistaken belief you’ll be so thrilled with them in real life you’ll overlook their lie.

DanielRicciardosSmile Thu 24-Sep-20 11:22:25

I think getting the profile out once to prove the age issue was OK. Getting it out three times though was probably overkill, as was the interview session.

GreyishDays Thu 24-Sep-20 11:22:52

It makes no different whether you did it at the time or later. smile

He lied, you pointed it out. Good for you.

aLilNonnyMouse Thu 24-Sep-20 11:23:22

You did the right thing. If no one ever calls him on it he will keep doing it thinking there is nothing wrong with it.

Lying about who you are in order to get people to meet up with you is incredibly creepy and he needs to learn it's not acceptable.

CoralFish Thu 24-Sep-20 11:23:23

He lied. Your friends don't know him. You're never going to see him again. Why spare his feelings?

ivfbeenbusy Thu 24-Sep-20 11:24:12

You did the right thing. A bit of embarrassment and humiliation which he has brought on himself is a good thing

SleepingStandingUp Thu 24-Sep-20 11:24:36

Good call op. I don't know if I'd have the guts but I covid secure high 5 you

VettiyaIruken Thu 24-Sep-20 11:24:46

I think a person shouldn't lie if they don't want to be challenged on it.

The entitlement wafting from him though! He lied his arse off, paused for a bit of gaslighting then actually just took it for granted that you'd see him again. 😂
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

amusedbush Thu 24-Sep-20 11:24:48

He lied repeatedly and then tried to make out that you were confused or mistaken. He sounds like a knob and he deserved to be called out.

Anordinarymum Thu 24-Sep-20 11:25:04

Good Lord. Doesn't everyone lie about their age online or they wouldn't get a date.

Some lies are not that bad. They call them white lies.

I have never lied about my age btw. I am 25

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Thu 24-Sep-20 11:25:08

He deserves humiliating. Why the fuck should you be expected to smile nicely and not call him out.

HeckyPeck Thu 24-Sep-20 11:25:25

YANBU. Your friends are being weird! Who cares if he felt humiliated? He shouldn’t have lied.

Why are they so worried about upsetting a liar?

slipperywhensparticus Thu 24-Sep-20 11:25:27

🤣🤣🤣🤣 how did he think he was going to get away with it again after you pulled his profile up the FIRST TIME

MulticolourMophead Thu 24-Sep-20 11:26:34

Good for you.

AdelaideK Thu 24-Sep-20 11:27:37

Haha good for you.

FourPlasticRings Thu 24-Sep-20 11:29:04

Your friends are bizarre. If people don't know why they're being passed over, how will they ever learn to do differently next time? Honesty is important.

Angelina82 Thu 24-Sep-20 11:29:30

You wasted your time on this lying fucker. He deserves to be humiliated.

frazzledasarock Thu 24-Sep-20 11:29:36

I don't think you did anything wrong or humiliating.

He's a bare faced liar, and he was trying to gaslight you on your first date, trying to make out you imagined his age, height and pet?

Good for you to have then proceeded to go through his profile to check.

Altho I'd have left the idiot after the second lie.

DeliciouslyFemale Thu 24-Sep-20 11:30:25

Talk about the difference between female and male socialisation! He tells lies after lies online, then the arrogant prick expects you to ignore that and go on a second date?! But somehow your female friends think it’s more important not to hurt his poor wee man feelings. FFS! Well done OP. This is also a great example of the importance of meeting in a safe place, as it gave you the confidence and safety to be able to point out his lies and leave. I think your fucking awesome!

DeliciouslyFemale Thu 24-Sep-20 11:30:39

*you’re

Hazelmazel Thu 24-Sep-20 11:31:03

I think well done you! From the sounds of his brass neck, he wouldn't know the meaning of the word humiliation.

NiceGerbil Thu 24-Sep-20 11:31:12

Good for you.

It's funny how lots of women are very defensive of men and their behaviour and feelings. In this case telling a woman they know did the wrong thing to a man they don't know and who has wasted OPs time going out for a date based on lies!

BobbinThreadbare123 Thu 24-Sep-20 11:31:33

You were not wrong in any way. What an arrogant cock he is! Who thinks that's OK to lead with bare-faced lies...?! I wouldn't give a figgy pudding about whether his feelings were hurt.

TheChristmasPrincess Thu 24-Sep-20 11:31:40

If he felt humiliated it was only because you figured out that HE was lying and rightly called him out on it. It was all of his own making. If he didn’t want to be humiliated, he shouldn’t have lied.

Now if you made fun of him being a single old man with a cat, THAT would be humiliating, as you would be making fun of him for his lifestyle choices.

Your friends are morons, ignore them 😉 🤫

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