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To think this is beyond unfair? I can wear what I want

(220 Posts)
WatchingWithDisinterest Mon 21-Sep-20 07:43:49

To the office itself.

I wear trainers with my dresses to work in the morning. I'm first in, usually. And have my heels on before anyone really gets there. Private office spaces, not public facing.

My boss came in early (a rare occasion), last week and smiled, did a sort of shake of the head. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. Then I saw he pointed at my shoes! (I was just walking in at the time).

Anyway, Friday he was in early again. This time he approached my desk and said ''The shoes? Please would you wear the smart heels in instead?'' Before I could reply he chucked and said ''You're a professional! Come on!'' Then before I had a chance to say a work he turned away and started talking to a colleague about some other rubbish.

AIBU to think he's wrong to ask me this? I put everything I've got into my job. I'm usually first in, often last out sad

OP’s posts: |
NoSquirrels Mon 21-Sep-20 07:46:39

Just ignore him. You change when you get there, and you can explain if he mentions it again.

RabbityMcRabbit Mon 21-Sep-20 07:47:29

He is being ridiculous OP if you change into smart heels the minute you get there. Loads of people wear trainers to work so they can walk comfortably to work and change into their work shoes once they have arrived at work. Could you explain this to him?

Namechangeme87 Mon 21-Sep-20 07:48:19

Eughhh. Surely what you wear to arrive in is no ones business . What if you cycled or ran in for example ?

But I hate the whole office wear thing full stop tbh and glad I work in a manual job. I’d hate to wear heels everyday or ever really .

Am sorry your boss sounds a twat and possibly sexist , however my office working days Are way in the past so maybe I’m not the best to advise what is the norm or not

thedevilinablackdress Mon 21-Sep-20 07:50:10

I'd be this close telling him to get fucked.
What an aresehole control freak.
And heels??? Don't even get me started.

Topseyt Mon 21-Sep-20 07:52:10

Just tell him bluntly that you have always worn trainers to travel in to work in the morning an then changed into other shoes when there and always will.

It is perfectly reasonable and not his call to make.

Personally, I'd go up to him right now and tell him that you don't appreciate his interference as you have your reasons for doing what you do.

Is he one of those sexist shits who thinks that women should always dress a certain way to please him and his ilk?

Lardlizard Mon 21-Sep-20 07:53:34

Op you gotta stick up for yourself more
If he started talking to someone else about something else you should have said excuse me but I onky wear these to walk in, then I get changed

But can’t you wear smart flat black shoes rather then heels ?!

SandyY2K Mon 21-Sep-20 07:55:37

Send him an email and explain. Heels are not comfortable to travel in for you and you change your shoes on arrival.

He's an idiot.

unimaginativeusernamehere Mon 21-Sep-20 07:57:24

He sounds like a cock.

I used to cycle to work then shower and change once I got there. As long as you're in dress code for your working hours what business is it of his.

Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd Mon 21-Sep-20 07:57:33

He's a sexist twat. Ignore.

sashh Mon 21-Sep-20 07:59:29

He'd have a right problem with me, I used to arrive in motorcycle leathers.

QuitMoaning Mon 21-Sep-20 08:00:36

I (In pre-Covid times) work in the City of London and about half the female commuters wear trainers/comfy footwear to and from the office and then change into smart footwear (heels or otherwise).

No line manager would even think to challenge this routine.

LetItGoHome Mon 21-Sep-20 08:00:36

Definitely continue wearing your comfy shoes in. I would also update my work wear shoes to smart flats. Then involve HR at ay further comments. Sexist pig! 🐷

TheGirlWithAPrince Mon 21-Sep-20 08:00:50

He cant even order you to wear heels, They can have a dress code but they Cannot specify heels as it is actually putting you in a vulnerable position of injury so if you want to wear heels then you can choose too but employers Cannot tell you to wear them they can only state smart shoes.

FelicityPike Mon 21-Sep-20 08:00:53

Stab him through the neck with your heels!

Seriously though, ignore him and continue to change footwear when you arrive at work. If he says anything again you NEED to explain the situation.

Deereamer Mon 21-Sep-20 08:01:36

I’d send him an email explaining - that way it’s recorded in case it comes up again.

NekoShiro Mon 21-Sep-20 08:02:02

If he doesn't pay enough attention to you to have noticed that you always change into heels for the rest of the day don't give him any of your headspace either.

FelicityPike Mon 21-Sep-20 08:02:16

Meant to say, I can’t wear heels at all, I can’t walk in them. Smart flats are the way to go. They can’t force you to wear high heels.

Palavah Mon 21-Sep-20 08:02:43

I wouldn't wait til the next time. I'd nip it in the bud now, but calmly and factually. The city is full of women and men who walk into the office in trainers and change under their desk/at their locker. What is your boss's specific concern?

NameXForThis Mon 21-Sep-20 08:02:49

When he provided a chauffeur driven ride from my front door to the door of the office building, I’d consider only wearing heels. What you wear on your feet whilst travelling to work is not his concern - it doesn’t look unprofessional, it looks appropriate!

TheTeenageYears Mon 21-Sep-20 08:03:00

I am fuming on your behalf @WatchingWithDisinterest. He has absolutely no right to dictate what shoes you wear to the office and needs to watch himself or this will become a discrimination matter. Heels are proven to be incredibly bad for your feet. If you are expecting to wear them all day at work you are already putting your whole body through hell. Tell him you will start wearing heels into the office rather than trainers whenever he provides you with door to door transport.

BeTheHokeyMan Mon 21-Sep-20 08:03:28

Surely the thing to have some was open your bag to show him the heels ? Don't be a doormat op stand up for yourself

Brefugee Mon 21-Sep-20 08:04:10

TBH if this were me I'd say "well up to now I've always changed into heels but those days are over"

As a matter of interest, OP, are you in a public facing role? can they see your shoes? etc etc

Lookatthat Mon 21-Sep-20 08:08:49

Where do you work? The 1970s?

HoratiotheHorsefly Mon 21-Sep-20 08:11:39

I wear trainers to work everyday and change when I get there too. No one has any right to tell you what to wear anywhere on your body outside of working hours.

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