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To not understand why people are still having kids?

(674 Posts)
Tobythecat Sun 20-Sep-20 19:21:17

I understand that the urge to reproduce is very strong, but the future looks incredibly bleak (I'm not talking about just covid, but also climate change). I fear for the future and what sort of quality of life people will have, considering Automation/competition over jobs, climate change issues (food/water shortages, extreme weather). Honestly, how can you think that everything will be fine and work itself out, or do you just not think about it? Children today will face unimagineable suffering in the next 20-30 years, how can you justify it to them? I wanted children desperately but decided not to because of the above, plus genetic factors.

People mention the war and how people kept having kids, but the threats we face have never been faced before and are multifaceted. Is existing to suffer better than not existing at all?

OP’s posts: |
CarlottaValdez Sun 20-Sep-20 19:23:15

It’s a pretty strong instinct. Plus if people feel their lives are unbearable due to any of the things you mention they could take themselves out. Feels very arrogant to make the decision on behalf of the next generation that life is not worth living.

StCharlotte Sun 20-Sep-20 19:29:17

I wouldn't knock anyone for having children but I can see where you're coming from.

I couldn't have children and of course it saddens me but there is a small part of me that is hugely relieved.

DameCelia Sun 20-Sep-20 19:29:37

Children today will face unimagineable suffering in the next 20-30 years
Sorry, you lost me there.
If you want to try again, without the hysteria, I'm sure people would be happy to engage with you.

donkey86 Sun 20-Sep-20 19:33:13

Because hope springs eternal. And, for the most part, so does life.

Funkypolar Sun 20-Sep-20 19:33:24

Strange thing to post on a forum called Mumsnet.

Curiosity101 Sun 20-Sep-20 19:33:53

We can't know with absolute certainty what the future will bring.

I hope my children will be kind, happy, and hard-working people who, in some way, leave the world better than they found it.

Dipi79 Sun 20-Sep-20 19:34:26

Mankind has always faced adversity, yet here we are...

WorraLiberty Sun 20-Sep-20 19:34:59

I wonder if you're my neighbour OP?

She was also absolutely desperate for children and she too decided against it for genetic factors.

Sadly she too has now convinced herself her decision was due to a woman crusade to help the planet and can often be heard finger wagging at parents who made different decisions.

Rustyspanners Sun 20-Sep-20 19:34:59

I have a 2 year old. I knew about climate change and it was a concern but I didn't realise this was something that was an imminent threat rather than something that was more likely to come several several generations down the line. When I see threads like these and sayings like 'children will face unimaginable suffering in 20-30 years', it frightens the fuck out of me and makes me feel utterly fucking horrendous that I had my child. I love him dearly and the future petrifies me. Thanks for the reminder. (:

BabyLlamaZen Sun 20-Sep-20 19:35:01

The urge is stronger. The future isn't all bleak. It gives people meaning to their lives. It IS life. The idea of not having them is like... giving up eating or giving up sex. It doesn't have to be logical. 🤷‍♀️

GreatMindsThinkAlike Sun 20-Sep-20 19:35:09

I've been thinking the same, OP. I'm mid 30s and half of my friends have decided they won't have children for these reasons too.

LoveNote Sun 20-Sep-20 19:35:20

so you think we should all stop producing and let humans die out?

Kolsch Sun 20-Sep-20 19:35:22

Because otherwise the human race would die out, and that would be silly.

KeyWorker Sun 20-Sep-20 19:35:22

What unimaginable suffering do you think will be faced in the next 20-30 years?

WorraLiberty Sun 20-Sep-20 19:35:29

*one woman

00100001 Sun 20-Sep-20 19:35:42

Unimaginable suffering?? confused

Like what? confused

JoeCalFuckingZaghe Sun 20-Sep-20 19:35:52

Are you a mum OP?

GreatMindsThinkAlike Sun 20-Sep-20 19:36:18

If I have children, I've decided I'll adopt. There are so many children who need a good home and then I can't be blamed for bringing them into this shitty world.

BabyLlamaZen Sun 20-Sep-20 19:36:29

And I genuinely do not think the world is ending in the next 90 years.
I do think we need good humans to improve what life we have left. And support those of us who are still here when we're old etc.

LoveNote Sun 20-Sep-20 19:36:35

i would also LOVE to hear about this 'unimaginable suffering'?

WorraLiberty Sun 20-Sep-20 19:37:18


Unimaginable suffering?? confused

Like what? confused

Dunno, maybe the OP can't imagine it grin

Funkypolar Sun 20-Sep-20 19:37:20

I knew a work colleague in her 40s who was desperate for children but covered it up by getting angry at pregnant women and lecturing them about being irresponsible and the environment.

That all changed when she got pregnant via IVF! Funny that.

JoeCalFuckingZaghe Sun 20-Sep-20 19:38:00

Sorry I didn’t read properly you answered that.

I think you can have children and be responsible about instilling they with values to not contribute to issues as such, but to reach an age where you want children and don’t have them because of an unknown future is very limiting and a life that some people couldn’t face I imagine.

PablosHoney Sun 20-Sep-20 19:38:02

In 20 or 30 years I hope to still be around suffering along with them in the dystopian future 😚

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