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AIBU?

My DS is ENORMOUS. Can I have some reassurance please?

157 replies

GinAtMerlottes · 16/09/2020 22:05

He’s just huge. Always been stocky with a BMI hovering on the overweight but it’s definitely tipped over now. He’s 4.5, 115cm tall and 23.5kg.

He is definitely big boned.... he has
no fat on his ribs but his rib cage is half as big again as his friends, who is a year older. His hands are bigger than those of his brother, who is 4 years older. He takes size 1 shoes.

Over lockdown of course our activity levels are much lower than usual, although we’ve been having our daily walks. He’s just started school, and restarted rugby and swimming.

Food wise, he has weetabix or porridge for breakfast with a cup of milk, fruit for snack, school lunches, fruit or peanut butter and apple or similar after school, and normal family dinner. Has fruit and a biscuit after dinner. Has a glass of squash at dinner but otherwise drinks water.

Eldest DS has always been very slim. My family and DHs family are all overweight. My brother is very very tall, over 6 ft 7.

I can see DS2 is destined to be tall and large, but any tips or reassurance would be very welcome.

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Branleuse · 16/09/2020 22:06

if hes not over eating, then not sure theres much you can do about him being bigger built.

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Handsoffisback · 16/09/2020 22:09

OP this could be me writing this, virtually identical stats. We’ve started walking to and from school (2.5 mile round trip) and I’ve been watering down his milk (he likes it a bit too much!). Have also signed him up to a football club once a week after school. My brother is 6ft 4in and was a chubby child, he leaned out as he was older and I think as long as i keep an eye on it my DS will do the same. His trainers look like they could fit me Grin Our gentle giants bless them.

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FlorenceNightshade · 16/09/2020 22:09

If he’s just started school did you not get a pre school appointment at gp for boosters? My kids were weighed etc then and I was asked if I had anything I was worried about. If so and they didn’t raise it I wouldn’t worry.

There was a kid in my ds1 class who was like Hodor compared to the rest of them but the others caught up and while he’s still large he’s in proportion.

Basically if he’s happy and healthy then don’t stress

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GinAtMerlottes · 16/09/2020 22:09

Thanks. I definitely have let some extra snacks creep in since March but now he’s at school we can get a good food routine going.

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Handsoffisback · 16/09/2020 22:11

I’ve also switched out carby breakfasts for scrambled eggs. I find they fill him up better and stop him wanting sugary things later on. School snack is a small apple and mini babybel.

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GinAtMerlottes · 16/09/2020 22:11

He had the boosters at 3y 9m I think, so quite a while ago. It was jab and go!

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Bunkumum · 16/09/2020 22:13

Wow. Size 1 feet. I suppose he’s just going to be big. If you can confidently say he’s not being fed too much then there’s not much else you can do! Some children are just big! I have the opposite problem with my teeny non growing 4.5 year old. Her feet are 6 sizes smaller than your DS. There’s always something to worry about! What’s normal anyway?

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Handsoffisback · 16/09/2020 22:13

I had been the same gin, plus sugary ice lolly’s and ice creams over the hot summer didn’t help. Like you say, now they are back at school we can get in a good routine. One thing I do need to look at though is his evening dinner as like your DS mine is having cooked lunches and I don’t want to effectively be giving him two hot meals a day.

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Pikachubaby · 16/09/2020 22:13

My youngest was like this, almost tipped into overweight, just a big boy

He’s now a 6ft3 15 yr old, still growing, very slim, like he’s been stretched out, size 13 feet (Shock)

I am glad I trusted my instincts on that and never put him on a diet or anything

Is your DS taller than other kids his age too?

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Handsoffisback · 16/09/2020 22:14

bunku my two are 4 and 3 and are like little and large. My 3 year old sounds just like your DS, an absolute slip of a thing. We will never stop worrying will we 🤦🏽‍♀️

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GinAtMerlottes · 16/09/2020 22:15

Yes, his height is just over the 98th centile, so a taller than almost all the kids! @Bunkumum, DS1 was always tiny and I used to massively worry about it- he’s now pretty much normal
and very lean and muscly!

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BlueDream · 16/09/2020 22:15

Get him learning to play rugby now!

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Pikachubaby · 16/09/2020 22:16

@Handsoffisback what’s wrong with 2 cooked meals? This is the first country I’ve lived in where that’s frowned upon

We often eat 2 hot meals. Much better than something unsatisfying like a sandwich, which then needs to be supplemented with nutritionally void foods like crisps, cereal bars, choc bars etc

2 hot meals means no snacking required

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Porcupineinwaiting · 16/09/2020 22:16

You could be describing my BiL 50 years ago. He was always a big, strong but overweight child and he grew into a big, strong but overweight man and has been battling his weight ever since and, although he adores his mum, he's sad that his lifelong battle with food started under her care.

However broadly built your ds is, please do you best to stop him being overweight. Look at his portion sizes, add more veg to fill him up, sub it for fruit as that is more sugary.

As for exercise, organised sport is nice but are there opportunities for him to walk more, or just run around and play more?

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GinAtMerlottes · 16/09/2020 22:17

Handsoff, we have cold lunches at the moment at school. DS1 has always had a hot lunch and a normal dinner- I think the portions are very small at school and the meal is supposed to be well balanced.

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Frouby · 16/09/2020 22:19

My ds is also a big chunk. Not fat but tall with a big frame. He is incredibly active, we have ponies and we kayak. Kayaking is twice a week for 2 hours at a time and he out paddles even kids twice his age, I have no chance keeping up with him. He can also run 5k with maybe 2 little walks in, he can walk 5 or 6 miles and be on the allotment for 3 hours. He's in age 9 school trousers and jumpers tho the jumpers ate slightly too big.

He has weetabix for breakfast, school lunch, tea will be normal family stuff then usually a yoghurt. Might have a couple of biscuits before bed, snacks on fruit between meals if hungry.

Some kids are just bigger. Dd is 16 and a skinny little thing. I'm overweight but quite fit, I ride/run/kayak. Ds is built the same as dh who has long arms and a broad frame. Reckon ds going to be sporty in something like rowing or cycling.

I do worry occasionally but he's so fit and healthy and doesn't have an unhealthy diet, probably less treats or snacks than most.

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GinAtMerlottes · 16/09/2020 22:20

Porcupine, he really isn’t a sedentary kid by nature. He’s constantly in the garden playing. He didn’t have minute of screen time today, by choice. He goes for walks every day, but now he is at school there’s probably less opportunity for that. But every weekend day we walk, go to bike track etc.

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fishywaters · 16/09/2020 22:21

Diet sounds great and your DS2 just sounds like he is going to be very very tall. Rugby and swimming sound like great sports. Please don’t stress. My 6.5 year old DS weighs only 19.5 kilos and I stress about that and all the other kids seem to have grown far more over lockdown than he has and his shoes are child size 11. Then I remember that my brother was always tiny as a child and is now 6ft1. As long as they eat well and exercise plenty and are happy I do believe a large part is genes.

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GinAtMerlottes · 16/09/2020 22:24

A large part of this is I am absolutely dreading The Letter, when they get weighed and measured later this term.

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Handsoffisback · 16/09/2020 22:26

Sorry pika I knew as soon as I posted that that I didn’t word it correctly. My DS has a hot meal and pudding at school which is a good sized portion. If I then fed him the same sort of hot meal at home, I’d easily be over feeding him so in the evenings now he’s started having things like omelettes or some cold roast chicken with salad. He just doesn’t need two big hot meals and puddings.

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TerraMirabilis · 16/09/2020 22:26

My 2 year old is on track to be similarly big. 99th percentile for height. Lower for weight but still a very solid look to him. Privately, I'm glad he'll be very tall. I think it's a great advantage to have, especially for men. I would never say that to my friends with teeny tiny toddlers. I'm sometimes shocked by how small children even older than him are. I suppose my frame of reference is skewed.

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Thisismytimetoshine · 16/09/2020 22:27

Even disregarding his age, op, he's still overweight for his height.

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GinAtMerlottes · 16/09/2020 22:28

Frouby, is your DS also 4?? That’s an incredible level of fitness!! I can’t claim anything near that for DS, he just scampers around making sofa forts and going on the trampoline!

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Jenasaurus · 16/09/2020 22:28

My eldest started off as a 6lb baby but weighed 21 pounds at 3 months, purely breast fed, he then got bigger and bigger, taller and taller, at 12 he was the tallest in his class at 5ft 10 but at the age of 31 he is still 5ft 10

His brother weight 10.5 1lbs at birth and was very big, size 13 feet at 12, and he got chubby but is now a 6ft 4 slim 27 year old

Then my daughter started out at 3 pounds, and was tiny (below 3rd centile for most of her life, had a chubby phase around puberty) and is now a slim, 5ft 25 year old woman (she has size 6 feet though which seem large for 5ft, same size feet as my grandma who was 5ft 8

We are all different Op, it could be he is having an early growth spurt like my eldest.

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GinAtMerlottes · 16/09/2020 22:29

I know...

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