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What help do I need

(13 Posts)
KiwiSarge Wed 16-Sep-20 18:32:45

Hello everyone,
I am due a baby in November and have been asked if I would consider going back to work (from home) in January. I know I will need help around the house and with occasionally with the baby, if i have a zoom meeting to attend etc. I'm wondering if I need a cleaner, a Mother's help or a Nanny? In terms of childcare, there will be minimal, as I would see to most of that side of things, but I would need help keeping the house in a reasonable state.However, I am not sure a cleaner would 'hold the baby' while I attended a meeting. I think I would have chosen an Au Pair, as we do have plenty of room, but I'm not sure how Brexit will impact getting a potential Au Pair. Any advice on what has worked for any of you would be great. DH is at work from 7am - 5pm, so I don't need any help of the evenings.

OP’s posts: |
Finfintytint Wed 16-Sep-20 18:37:54

Au pairs are not suitable for babies. A mother’s help would be the best if you don’t need too much time free and a nanny ( most expensive option) would free up the most time and have the most responsibilities.

Pleatherandlace Wed 16-Sep-20 18:51:55

A mother’s help would help around the house and hold the baby, not sure if a cleaner is really necessary with just one baby and two adults. Can you schedule your meeting though so you can time this with when you can arrange to have help there? Otherwise you might just end up all hanging around the house together.

tinierclanger Wed 16-Sep-20 19:08:41

You can’t work and have the baby at the same time, so I’m confused about what you mean about dealing with most of the childcare yourself. How many hours are you planning to work?

SantaClaritaDiet Wed 16-Sep-20 19:09:32

you need a mother's help.

An au-pair is not suitable at all.

A nanny is perfect for a baby, but it's not their job to maintain the house, they are only here to help around the baby and children (so can keep on top of their toys and cook for them) but they are not cleaners!

SantaClaritaDiet Wed 16-Sep-20 19:12:17

to add: SOME babies are blissfully peaceful and on a routine and women can get on with their own life from pretty much birth.
I had one who started doing a 7 + hours uninterrupted night from 3 weeks old. I had another one who didn't sleep properly for 2 years.

OTHER babies suffer from reflux or other horrors, refuse to sleep, need to be held at all time, and scream for what feels like hours.

You cannot plan on working with a baby. You might have an hour here or there, you might not. Plan for the worst case scenario.

Lobsterquadrille2 Wed 16-Sep-20 19:16:16

I went back to work full time after two months, but DD was in a nursery from 8am to 6pm (normal for the country where I worked at the time). I honestly cannot see how you could work and look after a baby at the same time.

Pleatherandlace Wed 16-Sep-20 19:28:41

Agree with others, if you are going to be expected to be at your desk (although at home) from 9-5 and working full time you will either need a nanny or baby will have to go to nursery. If work just want you to do a couple of hours here and there, you don’t say in your op, then perhaps you can condense this time and just get in a mother’s help.

Merryoldgoat Wed 16-Sep-20 19:37:49

How will you work with the baby if you don’t have dedicated childcare?

lanthanum Wed 16-Sep-20 19:39:08

Please bear in mind that the baby won't be 2 months old for very long. Once the baby is mobile, you will definitely need childcare, pretty much all the time (there will be naps, but they won't always be guaranteed, and the timings will change as the baby gets older).

Montgomerystubercles Wed 16-Sep-20 19:51:18

Mother's help/nanny-just make clear what you are expecting when you advertise (ie mostly helping with the house as you will be there also, sometimes sole charge of the baby). That was exactly what I needed and advertised for and was lucky enough to get a very experienced and lovely nanny who was happy to have a second job which fitted in with her morning one elsewhere. We pay somewhere between mother's help and nanny rates (again made clear from the start).

ErrolTheDragon Wed 16-Sep-20 19:57:17

* In terms of childcare, there will be minimal, as I would see to most of that side of things*

You really can't do that and do a full-time job properly.

I've wfh for 25 years, during which time I had a DD. When I was finished with maternity leave we got a nanny plus a cleaner. Our nanny was brilliant and did household jobs anyway, she wasn't one to sit around if DD had a nap. When DD started nursery for a few sessions a week , our nanny did ironing or whatever while DD was away. Ideal but hard to find such a gem!

When DD started school, I dropped to half time working to fit with school honours inc school run.

hopeishere Thu 17-Sep-20 08:31:52

Do you need to work? Can you afford the extra help? Will you have to go back to the office eventually?

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