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AIBU?

To think he gets excessively dirty?

44 replies

jeezlooise · 16/09/2020 18:13

Almost 4 year old just started at a school nursery, before this he was at a private nursery from the age of 1.
I don't think I'm being precious, but the state he comes home from nursery in is absolutely disgusting (like nothing I saw in the 3 years at his old nursery)
To begin with is just the plain filth, his fingernails are black, his clothes covered from head to toe in paint, glitter, soaking wet sleeves still wet from water play which they only had out in the AM, and he's there all day.
His arms, legs and face and hair are plastered in dirt/black dust, paint, glue.
His hair is full of sand, paint, shaving foam.
I am having to wash his trainers once a week as they are absolutely vile, luckily they are old trainers and old clothes, but I can't bear him looking so filthy.
Today to top it off he came home with skidders in his pants, and his hands absolutely stank of poo.
He's also dribbled wee in his pants at some point as he stinks of urine and his bits are red and sore.
I understand that kids get dirty at nursery, he's been at nursery for 3 years before this, but they would wash his hands for him and had nail brushes, use wet wipes on his face for food/paint/snot/grime, check him on the toilet.
Am I expecting too much from a school nursery where the ratio is 1:8?
I am absolutely fine with him getting dirty and having fun, we do forest school/messy play etc on a weekly basis, but if he is caked in mud/paint etc then I'll at least give him a wipe down and help him wash his hands instead of leaving it all day.
I'm not fine with him coming home unhygienic and smelly. He eats snack and lunch with filthy hands/nails as I've seen photos on his learning diary.

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Finfintytint · 16/09/2020 18:17

Yuk. Not acceptable. Are they using Covid as an excuse?

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jeezlooise · 16/09/2020 18:18

I've not even broached it yet, because everyone I've mentioned it to says "at least he's having fun" or "well the ratio is 1:8"

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Whatwouldscullydo · 16/09/2020 18:19

I dont think you are being unreasonable actually.

And I say that as someone who's daughter rehoused the sand pit at pre school to my front room via her shoes and was always covered in paint or glitter or slime.

But hand washing should be a priority right now so there's no excuse for shitty hands and poor hygiene imo

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LovingLola · 16/09/2020 18:21

Hands stinking of poo is completely unacceptable.

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Aroundtheworldin80moves · 16/09/2020 18:24

Getting messy through play is to some extent unavoidable.

The hygiene though is a different issue. They should be encouraged to be independent... But if they have an issue (esp if there's a noticeable smell- otherwise how would they know) they should be given a change of clothes.

Hands should be clean too.

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jeezlooise · 16/09/2020 18:26

I agree.
General dirt from playing is fine, but I always scrub hands with soap and wet wupe face.

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SleepingStandingUp · 16/09/2020 18:28

I don't think yabu. I'd ask to speak to teacher and ask if he's being difficult at hand washing time, rather than asking why they're not doing it iyswim

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Suzi888 · 16/09/2020 18:30

YANBU that’s too much dirt etc

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Spied · 16/09/2020 18:33

Urgh. Not acceptable.

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Marisishidinginmyattic · 16/09/2020 18:35

The dirt sounds horrible but the wet arms at the end of the day suggests he is washing his hands rather than it being from morning water play. Maybe he’s one of those kids who scratches his bare bum down his pants and that’s the poo stench?

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morefun · 16/09/2020 18:36

I remember this from my daughter's nursery. And when it was hot they'd always make her hat wet before putting it on her, to keep her cool, but it meant all dirt and mud etc would be glued to her head! Aargh

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jeezlooise · 16/09/2020 18:40

I think they're obviously teaching independence, but given the chance if you ask him to wash his hands he'll just dip them under the tap, but he's 3 so probably needs reminding or helping.
The thought of him eating his sandwich with poo hands and black fingernails makes my stomach turn.

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jeezlooise · 16/09/2020 18:42

And I can honestly say he never has his hands down his pants. I think he's wiped his own bum, which he does at home, but at home I'll check it after and help him wash his hands.
They've obviously just left him to it.

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jeezlooise · 16/09/2020 18:58

Just screen shot this from his learning diary.
Those nails and that filthy face!

To think he gets excessively dirty?
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FilledSoda · 16/09/2020 19:03

That's gross and completely unfair on him , he's only 3 ffs.

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RedHelenB · 16/09/2020 19:04

Nursery should supervise the washing of hands before lunch. Usually this is done up to Y1. Toileting though is independent usually. You might know a child had been to the toilet and remind them to wash their hands but not always. Again , with mucky hands if you catch them then they get sent to wash them but with free flow that might not always happen.

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jeezlooise · 16/09/2020 19:07

Well the hands in that photo certainly weren't washed before lunch.
I just keep imagining sickness bugs and threadworms.

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GreyishDays · 16/09/2020 19:13

I think they maybe were, just leaving black paint around the nails. Face is pretty grubby though.

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SleepingStandingUp · 16/09/2020 19:14

Or kids are being sent to wash their hands because of Corona so even if he's not doing it when he toilets, surely someone is supervising 3 year olds toale sure they're doing a vaguely adequate job unvlder the current circs

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ladygracie · 16/09/2020 19:17

I teach Y1 and 2 and we supervise the handwashing still as they just aren't reliable so they definitely aren’t at his age. I don’t think it’s acceptable and you should say something. Yes he is clearly having fun but that doesn’t mean he has to be filthy.

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Sanitisethat · 16/09/2020 19:23

That is absolutely not on, poor lad. There is having fun and getting a bit mucky and then there is being totally unhygienic and neglectful.

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Suzi888 · 16/09/2020 19:34

@jeezlooise

Well the hands in that photo certainly weren't washed before lunch.
I just keep imagining sickness bugs and threadworms.

I’m with @jeezlooise! I’d go mad! Should have washed hands before giving food.
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CSIblonde · 16/09/2020 19:45

That's not ok. Basic hygiene is being ignored. In these uncertain times with Covid as well , it's concerning. If they think that's ok for the children, what on earth are their own hygiene standards like ,if any? I'd speak to whoever is in charge, strongly.

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formerbabe · 16/09/2020 19:50

I'm pretty easy going but I think that's really unacceptable

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CausingChaos2 · 16/09/2020 19:55

Yanbu. That photo is appalling. It’s neglect.

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