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Please tell me if I'm just crazy?

(9 Posts)
alicedil87 Wed 16-Sep-20 17:39:56

Hi all, I need to preface this by saying I suffer with bad OCD which I'm currently in therapy for. Additionally, DH was caught doing some untoward things on the internet that have damaged my trust and we are currently attempting to work through it.

So DH privately tutors and was teaching a lesson online. About 5 minutes into the lesson a notification style noise went off, I have heard this type of noise before but couldn't put my finger on it. I have heard it in Teams calls and it's been someone else's phone/laptop.

The notification noise kept occurring until DH said 'is that your phone?' the kid said 'no it's yours' DH then said his phone wasn't in the room (which it wasn't) and the kid then said 'it's my mum's laptop so it's probably hers then'. The notification noise continued sporadically throughout the lesson. When I was in the study to get something I heard it go off and the screen was just a work paper.

For some reason my gut won't drop it. This happens a fair amount but to different severity levels. This time I am obsessed and cannot stop thinking about it. The problem is that before I have been correct.

I later realised that the noise is the Facebook Messenger tone 99% sure. DH doesn't use fb messenger any more (he has an account but it's not been touched in a year) but I've suddenly got it into my head that he could have created a fake account to speak to people.

There's a logical side to me that says: 1) it only went off during the call, not before or after 2) you saw the screen, nothing was there 3) why would he do that when he's tutoring he isn't unprofessional and 4) if he heard the notification the first few times he'd have panicked and clicked it off, rather than letting it continue for the whole hour.

Then the other side is telling me: 1) why was the noise so loud, it sounded like it came from our computer 2) what if he is just stupid.

Basically I am driving myself insane and feel like I'm about to crack. I can't seem to just let it go and understand that we may never get to the bottom of it.

I suppose I wonder if the notifications would be that loud if coming from the other person's computer?
Am I being stupid?

OP’s posts: |
Bluntness100 Wed 16-Sep-20 17:42:47

Yes they could be. Honestly op none of us can guess here. I’m sorry.

sparklefarts Wed 16-Sep-20 17:44:10

Yeah OP, I wouldn't e giving this a second thought. Notifications from other people's computers can come through loud

Sanitisethat Wed 16-Sep-20 17:48:28

Notifications can come through loud and clear. I often hear the email notifications of my colleagues when on Skype calls etc, as if they are coming from my own computer.

If it had been your DP I don’t think he would have asked the kid he was tutoring if it was their phone, or let it carry on dinging. As you say, he would have panicked and found a way to turn it off.

OhCaptain Wed 16-Sep-20 17:50:20

Notifications from someone else can be SO loud.

I would think that he’s telling the truth because as you said he’d cover his tracks otherwise.

BabyofMine Wed 16-Sep-20 17:51:31

Honestly, think about it: why would he ask the kid if it was his? That sounds like a tutor gearing off to say, turn that off. Obviously he can’t tell him to go poking about his mums computer so he let it slide. Whilst there’s always the chance he might be being dishonest on this thing alone it really doesn’t seem like there’s anything to worry about.

Mummadeeze Wed 16-Sep-20 17:53:57

I definitely don’t think it was his. He would known if it was. Try to forget about it if you can.

corythatwas Wed 16-Sep-20 17:54:08

If he's in Teams, is someone using the chat function? That has a very loud and extremely annoying notification system, I haven't worked out how to turn it off.

alicedil87 Wed 16-Sep-20 17:55:45

Thanks guys, it is reassuring. I just hate being this way. My mind can't focus, I feel sick constantly.
I just don't know if I'll spend my life this anxious. If it's not this it'll be something else. I've been the same since a child. At least at school or work I was distracted but now I'm WFH all I do is think.

I absolutely hate my mind

OP’s posts: |

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