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To take over bathroom in morning once a week?

(155 Posts)
NearToCompletion Tue 15-Sep-20 21:41:24

Feeling really cross but don't know if BU.

We only have 1 bathroom. Family of 4, 2 kids. I am very much the only female in a house of men. Every morning they take over the bathroom to shower, shave, do hair gel. I get up v early, brush my teeth then do all my makeup in my bedroom and leave them to it.

I do the Curly Girl Method for my very long, thick hair. Anyone who knows about it knows it isnt quick. Easily 20 mins in the shower, then a good 10 mins or so at least drying off after. I have to do it first thing so it has all day to dry properly before I sleep on it, then it lasts 3 days if needed. I would ideally wash it a bit more often, but don't because of the bathroom situ.

Tonight DH told me i need to be quicker in the bathroom on my 1 day (the other is a weekend and I do it a bit later) and get out so they can all get ready for school / work. I think it is very unfair that on just one day, I cant do what I need to in the bathroom. I already get up at 6.30 to be in there early and I certainly spend far less time in there than any of them...or most women I know!


OP’s posts: |
Goingdooolally Tue 15-Sep-20 21:42:54

Can’t you do some of it in the bedroom? The non washing bit?

BritneyS Tue 15-Sep-20 21:44:36

Yes you probably are. Details on what you’re doing don’t really matter here IMO. Your DH doesn’t think everyone can get ready and comfortably out the door on time, pretty black and white that they either can or can’t?

LouiseTrees Tue 15-Sep-20 21:49:23

Also the boys don’t need to shave or do hair gel in the bathroom. Maybe suggest this to them.

Hont1986 Tue 15-Sep-20 21:50:55

Yes, YABU. You can't take up the only bathroom for 30+ minutes on a weekday if other people need it.

Timshortforthalia Tue 15-Sep-20 21:51:23

Do you get a cast on your hair? I do mine early evening and its half dry when I'm go to bed. I sleep with the cast on a scrunch it out in morning. It's a perfect system and no annoying drying time.

Half hour in bathroom when there's 4 of you is a bit long.

Smallsteps88 Tue 15-Sep-20 21:53:09

We’ve made a rota for the bathroom. Could you do that?

ItalianHat Tue 15-Sep-20 21:54:15


Your DH is hardly "D" and rather sexist about this.

Oldbutstillgotit Tue 15-Sep-20 21:54:50

Get up earlier ?

Stinkyjellycat Tue 15-Sep-20 21:55:06

What’s a cast @Timshortforthalia ? I’m trying to do the curly girl method with my daughter but I have many heard of this. TIA!

user1473878824 Tue 15-Sep-20 21:56:44

How is it sexist? He didn’t say “men need much longer in the bathroom”, he said that four of them can’t use the bathroom in the mornings.

user1493494961 Tue 15-Sep-20 21:57:38

20 minutes is a long shower.

dontlikebeards Tue 15-Sep-20 22:00:47

I do CGM and find it easier to do it in the evening. It sounds like you all need to compromise. Shaving can be done in the evening and hair gel in bedrooms.

unimaginativeusernamehere Tue 15-Sep-20 22:01:28

So you spend those 30 minutes in the bathroom? You're out by 7, is that right?
How long do they spend in the bathroom each and what time do they need to leave?

Quarterback11 Tue 15-Sep-20 22:01:32

Can your dh shave while you are in the shower? And can you dry your hair in the bedroom?

Brighterthansunflowers Tue 15-Sep-20 22:01:38

It’s selfish for any one person to hug the bathroom in the morning when three other people are also trying to use it to get ready for school/work

The sex of the person is irrelevant, as is what they’re doing really (apart from illness!).

There’s three of them, so yes the bathroom will be occupied by a Male more than a female during the morning rush, because theres more of them!

unimaginativeusernamehere Tue 15-Sep-20 22:05:05

You could put a mirror and their hair gel in the kitchen, that might help a little.
Personally I wouldn't want anyone shaving at the kitchen sink.
Your dh could share the bathroom with you, he shaves while you wash your hair then he showers while you're drying your hair off.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross Tue 15-Sep-20 22:05:46

Why don’t you get up half an hour earlier on the day you want to do your hair?

Half an hour in the bathroom is a lot when there’s 4 of you to get through it.

speakout Tue 15-Sep-20 22:08:07

Unfair to hog the bathroom in the morning when everyone is trying to get ready.

Daphnise Tue 15-Sep-20 22:09:06

YABU, but if you can't see it....well maybe your hair is too long!

CoRhona Tue 15-Sep-20 22:11:58

Can't you wash it when you get home so it has all evening to dry?

I'd be very upset if someone hogged the only bathroom for that long in the morning.

speakout Tue 15-Sep-20 22:12:03

You have options OP.

Get up earlier, find another method for your hair or a shorter/easier to manage style. Do your hair in the kitchen.
Many busy mothers find easier hairstyles to cope with busy lives.
It happens.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Tue 15-Sep-20 22:14:57

So you need the bathroom for 20 mins, two mornings a week, and they have the cheek to grumble Bout that?!

QueenPaws Tue 15-Sep-20 22:15:59

Was going to say could you do the evening. I diffuse mine then leave the cast in overnight

Pobblebonk Tue 15-Sep-20 22:28:41

This isn't a matter of fairness, is it? The simple fact of the matter is that they all need to be washed and out of the bathroom by a set time, and that requirement doesn't change just because that's the day you've chosen to do your hair.

I'd strongly suggest a fairly drastic haircut, it will improve your life dramatically not having all that faff twice a week.

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