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To want to do a language class while PILs are here?

(29 Posts)
thewallisblue Tue 15-Sep-20 16:27:50

I do virtual language classes on a weekday evening. The new term is starting this week.

My PILs are coming to stay with us for three days. They haven't been for a while (because of Covid). When they're here I find them really intense - they need constant entertainment and attention. They're not content with just relaxing at home - we have a jam-packed itinerary for things to do with them.

My class is 1.5 hour long. My DH thinks I'm unreasonable for wanting to do the class, as they're not here for very long.

So, AIBU?

OP’s posts: |
cologne4711 Tue 15-Sep-20 16:29:17

1.5 hours is nothing. My mum goes off to the hairdressers when I visit her - I don't think it's personal - it just seems to work out that way - every single time.

Your DH is being unreasonable. He probably just doesn't want to entertain them by himself for 1.5 hours. Well tough, they are his parents.

squashyhat Tue 15-Sep-20 16:31:47

YANBU

ButteryPuffin Tue 15-Sep-20 16:34:25

He can use that as quality time just him and them, parents and son grin YANBU.

lafillette Tue 15-Sep-20 16:35:38

YANBU at all, your husband is.

unmarkedbythat Tue 15-Sep-20 16:37:16

Yanbu. Is he incapable of entertaining his parents for a couple of hours?

thewallisblue Tue 15-Sep-20 16:41:40

Thanks all! Yes I suspected as much.

He's now saying his parents would be annoyed if I did the class (which is likely true), which he realises is unreasonable, but he doesn't want to have an argument with them about it.

Why are PILs so annoying?!

OP’s posts: |
TheDuchessofMalfy Tue 15-Sep-20 16:43:34

Ffs he’s their son! You shouldn’t have to be involved at all times!

ArnoJambonsBike Tue 15-Sep-20 16:45:27

Well if they don't like what you do in your home, they are more than welcome to stay in their own fucking hovel, aren't they?

Longdistance Tue 15-Sep-20 16:46:18

Do your language course. Let them get annoyed. Learning a language is really important.
What language are you learning btw?

lazylinguist Tue 15-Sep-20 16:47:27

YANBU. I'm sure they can cope without you for 90 mins!

2bazookas Tue 15-Sep-20 16:48:24

Generously, tactfully, you make sure the rarely-visiting PILS have some special time alone with their beloved son. An hour and a half every evening, no interruptions, no distractions, just Mummy and Daddy sharing quality time with Sonny.

How can the lucky lad possibly object? The ungrateful oaf should be kneeling at your feet giving humble thanks for your sacrifice.

AdoraBell Tue 15-Sep-20 16:50:07

YANBU your DH can spend time with his parents.

Hahaha88 Tue 15-Sep-20 16:50:17

Why should you not do your course. Your oh needs to grow a pair
I mean alternatively they could choose another 3 days when you aren't doing your course? But I imagine they would be more bothered by this

afaloren Tue 15-Sep-20 16:50:28

<misses point of thread entirely> is it a Dysgu Cymraeg course??? Only because mine starts this week too grin

BlueJava Tue 15-Sep-20 16:50:38

1.5 hours to do a language class is fine. You don't want to miss it and risk falling behind just for chit-chat! If they were over for the evening only then fair enough, but they are there for 3 days. If my parents or ILs turn up the whole house doesn't revolve around them.

Billben Tue 15-Sep-20 16:52:35

Surely your DH can entertain his own parents for an 1.5hr 😀

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter Tue 15-Sep-20 16:54:08

They're all CFkers. I'd be childish and tell him only boring people get bored.

Onekidnoclue Tue 15-Sep-20 16:54:24

Perfectly reasonable. And yes. PIL are a PITA

ButteryPuffin Tue 15-Sep-20 16:55:33

Well, you'll be annoyed if you DON'T do the class. Ask him which is worse.

DPotter Tue 15-Sep-20 16:58:39

As is often the case - the clue is in the question. Parents in law, ie his parents. And yes - he can take the opportunity to take them out for coffee / walk, just the 3 of them. They can take a whole morning or afternoon about it too.

So you are not being unreasonable. If they were coming just for an evening meal and your class was at 7pm, then yes I think it would be awkward, but they are staying for 3 days - 1.5 hrs off / way from them is not unreasonable. And your DH should be extolling your virtue for wishing to expand your mind and learn a new skill. "Isn't my wife, Wallis, amazing, she never rests, always learning something new. What a role model".

LannieDuck Tue 15-Sep-20 17:00:42

He just doesn't want to do the work of entertaining. Of course you can quietly disappear to your room for 1.5 hrs during a 3-day stay.

PurpleDaisies Tue 15-Sep-20 17:00:55

He is in the wrong here.

IntermittentParps Tue 15-Sep-20 17:07:44

He's now saying his parents would be annoyed if I did the class (which is likely true), which he realises is unreasonable, but he doesn't want to have an argument with them about it.

Why are PILs so annoying?!

Actually it's your DH who's being annoying. He needs to stand up for you and for himself.
I'd absent myself for their whole trip if my DP tried something like this. But I'm a cow grin

monsterad Tue 15-Sep-20 17:09:09

Off topic! But what company does the classes? I really interested in continuing my Spanish learning

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