Should I ignore the HV?

[marvellousmaplesyrup]

Health Visitor came round to visit DS (8mths) this week for a general check up.

She said (in her own words) how "horrified" she was to see the size of DS. He's always been on 99.6th centile in both length (now 78cm) and weight, but since being weaned he's tipped slightly off the charts in weight to just over 25lbs. She me feel about 2 inches tall and gave me a proper rollicking for "over feeding" DS.

He used to have around 500mls of formula three times a day, porridge (65g) for breakfast and home cooked dinners with veg (around 100g) for lunch and dinner. No snacks, apart from some chopped up fruit when he was a bit grumpy.

Her advice is I need to cut all of this in half. Two bottles (150ml each) only on waking and bedtime, 32g of porridge, 50g of food for lunch and dinner. What's worse, is that she wants us to go from lunchtime at 11.45am until dinner at 5pm with nothing in between?

Because she made me feel so small and being a FTM, we followed her advice for a few days, but DS is understandably inconsolable and is sobbing with hunger most of the day. He is waking up in the night (despite sleeping through) and takes ages to get back to sleep.

My gut tells me I should probably cut down a bit, but not to the extent she wants us too. Surely there has to be a happy medium? AIBU to ignore her?

[marvellousmaplesyrup]

Sorry I should have been clearer - before she came round DS would have 500mls of milk over the course of the day - not 3 times a day!!

[MinesAPintOfTea]

Where is he on the chart for height? Can you do lunch a bit later to make the afternoon shorter?

[Soubriquet]

Yep ignore

Most babies are rolls on rolls and they soon burn it off once they start toddling about

My oldest was so chubby. Now she’s skinny as a bean pole

[Grrretel]

He still needs 500ml of formula per day at that age or you will have to supplement him with vitamins.

I’d try cutting down on food a bit though and maybe upping his water intake.

[Lockdownseperation]

I would ask her to refer you to a paediatric dietitian.

[marvellousmaplesyrup]

@MinesAPintOfTea

Where is he on the chart for height? Can you do lunch a bit later to make the afternoon shorter?

He is 99.6th centile for height - 78cm

[Sanitisethat]

I don’t think you should set too much store by rust she says - it’s very hard to overfeed a baby, and usually it results in physical signs like spitting up.

If you’re concerned I would speak to a GP but honestly I think you know your baby best and are best placed to know how much they need to be eating.

[Sertchgi123]

Follow the advice, a fat baby will grow into a fat adult.

[IamTomHanks]

Tell her to go fuck herself honestly. The kids 8 months. As long as the food is healthy, than it doesn't matter.

[bookgirl1982]

Babies are excellent at self regulating. Ignore the HV and feed him what he wants/needs until he is both walking and talking!

[VeniceQueen2004]

Take child to the GP and advise you are concerned about his weight based on what the HV said (name her and quote her) and ask for your son to have a health check.

HVs ime are poorly-trained, overworked harridans who enjoy the ego trip of criticising first time mums. I wouldn't give anything she says a lick of thought if your son seems healthy, happy and hitting his milestones. If she has worried you, speak to someone who actually knows something for advice or reassurance.

[Sertchgi123]

HVs know far more than GPs about feeding babies.

[Soubriquet]

@Sertchgi123

Follow the advice, a fat baby will grow into a fat adult.

Not really...

[VeniceQueen2004]

Although if I were going to dial back anything it would be the formula. Give him a vit supplement and reduce the formula feeds, maybe sub in extra solid food (particularly veg and protein).

Does he feed himself solids or do you feed him? If the latter maybe give baby led weaning a go - he won't put more in himself than he's comfortable eating.

[Star81]

Sometimes health visitors don’t have the best manner in speaking to you and it does make you feel bad.

What weight was he at birth ?

Cutting meals in half straight away is probably a shock to your baby.

Just to check though, when you say 65g of porridge do you mean fully cooked with milk it’s that weight or thats how much porridge powder before milk your using ?

[VeniceQueen2004]

@Sertchgi123

but not, it seems, about talking to parents. Bullying and scare-mongering are not the way to effect behaviour change.

[user1493413286]

I would go and see your GP; I had that recently with the health visitor where she left me in tears after saying I’d obeyed my DS and then went to the GP who consulted paediatrics and we were given some much more reasonable advice.
I’m also confused about the milk thing as my DD had 2 bottles amounting to 500ml over the day at that age until she was 1 as that was the advice given. It sounds reasonable to cut down a bit but not all at once as of course he’s hungry and upset.

[Sertchgi123]

HVs are very well trained but generally get a very poor press on Mumsnet. HVs are registered nurses or/and midwives who have done extra training to be HVs, to degree level.

[Marshmallow91]

Please OP if you do one thing today, ignore @Sertchgi123

Give your baby what he needs - YOU know him best, not the HV. I second asking for a referral to a paediatric dietician because they'll be best to advise you. Until then, go back to normal and let your baby eat and drink, they don't overeat at that stage.

[Serendipper]

Sorry, I would ignore. I would make sure he is having lots of healthy choices. Make sure he’s not having a ton of sugar or fried fatty food but I definitely wouldn’t be putting him on any restrictions or letting him be hungry. Sounds like an excellent way to make food an issue. My son was massive between 8months and 14 months but he was breastfed and baby led weaned so I was confident that he was just taking the nutrients his body needed. He then started walking and has slimmed right down.
Make sure he’s feeding himself and no one is tempted to “just have one more spoon” or rewarding for finishing a portion etc
Let him be in control of how much he eats, while you control what he’s offered and ensure it’s a balanced choice.

[Plussizejumpsuit]

@Sertchgi123

Follow the advice, a fat baby will grow into a fat adult.

Utter crap.

[Falcone]

I would say follow your gut OP, you know him best. It may be hes just bigger built. My friends baby was similar to your DS, he was 10lbs 7 at birth and by 12 weeks old he was in 6-9 month clothes. The HV used to say similar things to her about cutting down his milk and food etc. Hes 5 now and not overweight, just slightly stocky and very tall

[marvellousmaplesyrup]

@VeniceQueen2004

Although if I were going to dial back anything it would be the formula. Give him a vit supplement and reduce the formula feeds, maybe sub in extra solid food (particularly veg and protein).

Does he feed himself solids or do you feed him? If the latter maybe give baby led weaning a go - he won't put more in himself than he's comfortable eating.

Thanks - I'm quite happy to cut back on his formula and have been giving him multi vitamins in place of a third bottle. We are combi feeding - mainly via a spoon but chop up bits of veg/meat etc for his high chair tray so he can feed himself.

[Thecazelets]

Personally I would ignore her, especially if he was happy and content on what you were feeding him before. It all sounds healthy and sensible to me - it's not as if you're feeding him fizzy pop and chicken nuggets. I don't think you can really overfeed a baby that young. (DS was similar, but he is and was just an enormous boy and was on the 99+ centile all the way through his childhood for both height and weight - he's now 18, 6 ft 3 and still growing, without an ounce of spare flesh on him.)

[VeniceQueen2004]

HVs are very well trained but generally get a very poor press on Mumsnet. HVs are registered nurses or/and midwives who have done extra training to be HVs, to degree level.

Then explain why I, a FTM, had to correct my HV on what was normal infant sleep and normal infant breastfeeding patterns, quoting NHS guidance and peer reviewed research to her? Why did I have to remind a HV telling me to put my 3 mo in her own room that rooming in was recommended until min 6 months?

I have a theory that midwives/nurses who are a bloody liability on the wards are encouraged to become HVs by their superiors to get them the hell away from vulnerable patients in the clinical setting. It's the only explanation I have for why so many of them are so catastrophically ignorant, ideological, rude and bullying to mothers.