To want and expect an apology

[LEA0304]

So Monday night as I'm putting our 1 year old to bed my partner comes back from the shop shouting about why is their a glass in the car. I had been at work all day and the car had been on the car park. I was completely baffled as to what he was on about. As I went down stairs asking just that he was stood with a pint glass in his hand. So now he's shouting for all the neighbours to hear asking who have I had in the car and how "he'd suspected something for a couple of weeks now" and so was going to his brothers. I'm not really one to get into arguments so after denying any knowledge (I really don't have a clue) I went to walk away at which point he SPAT in my face! I was really shocked he did that and went upstairs to see to our son. I was really angry and at that point wouldn't of minded if he left but he didn't. I completely ignored him the rest of the night even when he started being really nice and trying to talk to me. The next day he was back to normal and Iv been off with him ever since. I want some remorse from him, at least an apology. Surely that's not unreasonable???

[TenShortStories]

I would not be expecting anything from someone who is happy to spit in my face. I would however be packing my bags (or maybe his, depends on your living situation). What a horrible man

[NoMoreReluctantCustodians]

He spat in your face? Tell him to fuck off to his brothers or you'll phone the police and report him for assault. And tell him not to bother coming back

[chipsandpeas]

fuck an apology id be kicking him out

[AllsortsofAwkward]

He sounds abusive what a digusting thing to spit in your face, please ltb.

[99WithTwoFlakes]

I’m shocked reading this. He accused you of cheating and then spat in your face? He is abusive and you deserve far more than an apology.

[babycakes1010]

What a cunt....get rid!

[lifesalongsong]

What difference would an apology make, he sounds vile

[RiteAid]

What’s the point of an apology OP? Will that take back the fact that he did something so degrading and disrespectful? That he treated you as someone who wasn’t even human, or worthy of the most basic level of care or respect?

Nothing will ever change the fact that when something upset him, you became less than human to him. I don’t see how you can possibly do anything except leave him without a backward glance.

[BeBraveAndBeKind]

If a stranger spat at you in the street, it would be considered by the police as assault so I wouldn't view this any differently. The false accusations and the spitting constitute abuse in my book. I'd be expecting my DH to pack a bag and get out if he behaved like this never mind an apology.

[Butchyrestingface]

.So now he's shouting for all the neighbours to hear asking who have I had in the car and how "he'd suspected something for a couple of weeks now" and so was going to his brothers.

Pint glass = affair? Who knew? Maybe he read the penis beaker thread from years ago.

Anyway, he sounds fucking horrible and he assaulted you. I take it this sort of behaviour isn't a one-off, although it may represent an escalation? I ask because a lot of people would have sent him packing for that, apology or not apology.

[Tunnocks34]

If my husband spat in face he’d be out of my fucking house so quick his feet wouldn’t touch the ground.

What an disgusting, vile excuse for a man. Honestly, repulsive low life. Please do not stay with him. Please.

[Tunnocks34]

I’m actually really shocked at that tbh. Shocked that you’d also consider forgiving him if he apologised. It’s abusive, and it’s disgusting and demeaning.

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

Woah!

He doesn't trust you.

He doesn't give a shit about embarrassing you

He has humliaited you, assaulted you.

He went off in a sulk and yu let him back in the same snit.

Take some time to consider your relationship. Not for the sake of your child etc. But for YOU! What do you get out of your relationship with him?

To accept being accused, humiliated, spat at and sulked at he propbably has a huge bank account and penis of gold!

Or you have been ground down by him and need someone to support you doing what is best for you!

[copperoliver]

He wouldn't be there to apologise to me, I would pack his things and tell him to go to his brothers for good. X

[Ginkypig]

@Tunnocks34

If my husband spat in face he’d be out of my fucking house so quick his feet wouldn’t touch the ground.

What an disgusting, vile excuse for a man. Honestly, repulsive low life. Please do not stay with him. Please.

This. I wouldn't share a bus journey never mind a life with someone who spat in my face!

That's disgustingly shocking not to mention the rest of it!

[Aquamarine1029]

You aren't really going to stay with this horrible man, are you? If you do, your standards are shockingly low.

[mbosnz]

Spitting in my face equates to out of my life, with immediate effect. No ifs, buts, or maybes. And I don't say that lightly.

[Soubriquet]

He spat in your face and all you want is an apology?!

He would be out. How can you be with him if he can’t give you any respect

[EllenRipley]

Wtaf?!
You're minimising. Sorry OP but an apology is the least of what you need. Honestly, that is shocking, abusive behaviour and no one here is going to tell you otherwise. I very much doubt it'll be a one-off either. You really need some headspace and perspective to rethink this guy and your relationship. Or just kick him out, today.

[NotThatKindOfDoctor]

The partners that are paranoid about being cheated on are the ones doing the cheating a lot of the time, so I’d be conscious of that.

Also, if my husband shouted at me in public and spat in my face, he wouldn’t be my husband for much longer.

I’m very sorry this has happened to you, hope you resolve things soon.

[Nottherealslimshady]

He spat in your face and you're worried about an apology?

[DontBeShelfish]

He's assaulted you. This happened to me once many years ago and I still think about it: it was really degrading. If that's what your partner thinks of you, I'd leave him. If he's prepared to do that to you it shows how little he thinks of you.

Sorry if that sounds upsetting but I have really strong feelings about this.

[Fairenuff]

I would separate, that is a disgusting thing to do. He sounds horrible.

[RonObvious]

Someone spitting in my face would 100% be a deal breaker for me. There's no excuse. As PPs have said, it's deemed to be assault, and behaviour like that tends to escalate. Don't let him re-write what happened.

[madcatladyforever]

He is seeing how far he can push you.
If you allow him to get away with this the next time it will be a punch in the face.
Leave him now before it escalates. You have a small child, having a baby is often the catalyst for this kind of behaviour to begin because he doesn't have your 100% attention.